Title: Two For the Apocalypse
Season: AtV season V
Word count: 1671
Feedback: yes, please
Disclaimer: we all know they aren’t mine. I’m just speculating.
Notes: It hasn’t happened this way; but we can dream! (Um, that note was written when I wrote the story – back during AtV, season V)
TWO FOR THE APOCALYPSE
Spike took an unnecessary breath and blew it out as hard as he could.
“Whew, you sure know how to show a bloke a good time, Slayer.”
He smiled down at her and rolled off to the side, maintaining as much contact as he could without still being inside and on top of her.
“You’re not so bad yourself, vampire.” She smiled back at him as she ran her hand down his chest.
With contented sighs, they relaxed against each other, enjoying a closeness that was new to both of them.
“Look at us - all after-glowy,” she said, snuggling up to him. “I could get used to this, couldn’t you?”
A shadow crossed his face for a moment, but too quickly for her to notice. “I’ll never get used to it,” he said softly. “It feels like a bloody miracle every time.”
Since Buffy had shown up at Wolfram and Hart, demanding to see Spike, they hadn’t been more than a few inches apart for longer than a couple of minutes here and there. For two days they hadn’t even left the bed in her hotel room except to eat meals ordered from room service (which, interestingly enough, was able to supply mugs of warm blood).
Almost two years of no physical contact between them had left both Slayer and vampire starving for the spectacular sex that had been the hallmark of their short, violent affair before Spike got his soul. This time, though, the athletic sexual activity was not accompanied by pain and bloodshed, but was sweet and passionate and could not be called anything but making love.
While Buffy didn’t babble long strings of endearments the way Spike did during his lovemaking, she didn’t stop him from doing so. Now, she basked in it rather than turning away as she had in the past. Neither one of them mentioned her “I love you” just before she left him below the school; and she hadn’t repeated it since she had found him.
Spike’s whole body was singing with her nearness – the softness of her skin, her unique scent, the gentle touches of her hand. All the physical signs of a relationship were there. She kissed him, she snuggled with him, she touched him constantly for no reason. But, still, his inate lack of confidence couldn’t accept that she really loved and wanted to be with him. Yes, she loved him physically. That incredible sexual attraction had been between them even when they hated each other. And, yes, she cared about and had mourned for him. As she would have for any of the Scoobies.
He knew she was proud of what he’d done on the Hellmouth. But some small, paranoid, protective part of his psyche wouldn’t let him believe that she was really choosing him for keeps. He wouldn’t allow himself to be that vulnerable.
Lying there, holding the woman he loved, it was almost possible to believe that this was real. That they would be together forever. Almost. But not quite.
“Spike?” she said hesitantly, running her fingers along his arm.
“Tell me again why you didn’t come looking for me? Why I had to find out you were back months after the fact? ‘Cause I really don’t get it.”
“Told you, pet. Was afraid it wasn’t gonna last. Still am. No one knows why the PTB brought me back......”
“As a reward for my years of service?” she joked.
He smiled slightly and kissed the top of her head, but his eyes didn’t change. “Or how long they plan to keep me here.”
“Wouldn’t that be all the more reason to find me? So we could at least have whatever time they give you? Didn’t you want to be with me?”
“Stayin’ away from you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,” he said quietly. “But I wanted you to be free to enjoy your new life. I needed to know you were safe and happy. Getting a fresh start. Not feeling obligated to....”
Buffy sat up so fast she almost fell off the bed. “Obligated? You think I’m here because I think I OWE you?” She sputtered in outrage, but at the same time her eyes filled with tears. “I’m not in the habit of paying off my debts with my body! I’m here because it’s where I want to be. With you. But I’m beginning to think you don’t think I should be here.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t,” he said carefully. “Somethin’ really bad’s coming. Angel and I can both feel it. We need to be here; concentrating on what’s coming. I don’t think I was brought back to be your boyfriend, love. Much as I’d like that,” he added quickly. “I’m sure the PTB have other plans for me. I didn’t want you to have to -to say ‘good bye’ twice - or to get caught in the crossfire.”
“So, let me be sure I understand this...” she said with a dangerous undertone in her voice. “You didn’t want me with you - because something bad might happen here?”
(Uh, oh. Best be careful how I answer this)
“Uh, I just thought - I mean for you to risk your life now that you can have one - to be with me. It just doesn’t make sense. I figured if you didn’t know about me, you wouldn’t come and see me and you’d be safe where you were. I was just trying to protect you, Buffy.”
He was leaning on one elbow as he tried to explain to her.
“So, you did it for my own good. Is that right?” she asked with way too much sweetness in her tone. She stood up on the bed, balancing easily as she glared down at him.
(Bollocks! I forgot how she hates that!)
He looked at the storm clouds gathering in those green-flecked eyes and knew the honeymoon - so to speak- was over.
“Buffy, love, I didn’t mean....let me explain. Angel and I agreed....if you’ll just listen...”
“No! You listen, mister! I am still the Slayer. The fact that I love you doesn’t change that. If something bad is coming, it’s my JOB to be here. It’s where I belong! You used to understand that! You used to appreciate it! You and Angel don’t get to decide where, if or how I live my life. And what the hell does Angel have to do with this? Since when do you and he agree on anything?”
She paused for breath and he stared appreciatively at her as she stood over him in all her naked glory. Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily, causing her breasts to move up and down enticingly. He was so intent on how beautiful she looked, he almost missed the fact that she had said she loved him. Almost.
“You know, love,” he grinned up at her, “this rant would be a lot more effective if you weren’t starkers. I’m having a hard time concentratin’ on what you’re sayin’. Maybe you could repeat parts of it?”
She blinked at him, then blushed even deeper as she realized how she must look from his angle. She sat down abruptly, pulling her legs together and continuing to glare at him.
“Well, which parts didn’t your piggy little mind get?” she snapped. “Cause I’d be more than happy to repeat them!” She was vaguely annoyed that he didn’t look either fearful or angry. In fact, she could have sworn he looked almost happy. (I must be losing my touch, if I can’t even get Spike mad at me), she thought in disgust.
“Oh, how about the beginning - somewhere around being the Slayer and loving me.”’
“What? I AM the Slayer - well, OK, one of them, now. And I DO love you. You know that. I told you before you....” Her voice trailed off and she stared at him with sudden understanding. “You didn’t believe me! You really didn’t believe me....”
Buffy eyes were suddenly filled with unshed tears and she slumped down into a miserable heap on the bed. “Is - is that why you don’t want me here?” she choked out. “Because you think I don’t love you?” She turned her stricken face toward him, mutely begging for some sign that she was wrong.
the vampire wouldn’t look at her.
He just shrugged and studied the threads in the sheet very
intently. “T’was an honest
mistake, love. Not like I had anything to go by...”
When he finally looked at her crumpled face and the tears now trickling down it, he cleared the distance between them with vampire speed, pulling her into his arms and onto his lap.
“Ah, Buffy, don’t. Please. I’m sorry. I really am. I believe you now, love. I do, I promise. I just want to hear it again. Say it for me, please?”
“I love you. I love you. I love you. Is that enough?” she growled at him through her sniffles.
“No, sweetheart, it’s not enough. But it’s a bloody good start.” He hugged her tightly and began planting kisses all over her face.
“So, does that mean I can stay?” she asked meekly. “Cause I could help, you know. And,” she added, “I have a lot of really, really strong friends....”
“Say it again,” he murmured into her neck, ignoring her question.
“I love you”
“I, Buffy, love you, Spike.”
“How long do I have to keep this up?”
“Can’t we just start kissing instead? Cause I’m really getting bored here...” she said, taking his face in both hands.
“Can’t have that, can we? A bored Slayer is a ....mmmmmph”
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