Written for 12 months of BtVS Š this is my Anya fic.  Takes place during Season Six Š Entropy.  AnyaÕs thoughts that night. Rating R.






Solace for a Demon (8/16/05)

by Slaymesoftly

Rating R

Season VI

Word Count 1426

Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my ideas about what her thoughts might be.


Solace for a Demon


           I donÕt understand how he could do that to me.  He says he loves me.  He tells me his insides hurt. Hah! Not enough they donÕt!  They need to be hanging out of his body Š bloody and tornÉ painfullyÉ. Oh, never mind.  I donÕt think I really want him to die.  But some pain would be goodÉit would make me feel bet-


            WhatÕs --? The bell.  Good, a customer.  Some money would help me feel better. LessÉuseless.  UnwantedÉI can help the customer and ŠOh.  ItÕs just Spike.  What does HE want?  Hey, he doesnÕt like Xander.  Maybe heÕll do a curse for me.  LetÕs see what do I want?  Evisceration? Broken bones?  Maybe another round of syphilis?  ThatÕs it Š IÕll ask Spike to curse XanderÕs penis.


            Spike doesnÕt look very good.  Even for a dead man.  He looks like he hasnÕt eaten in a while andÉhas he been crying? Nah. Vampires donÕt cry.  Ex-demons cry.  Especially when theyÕve been left standing around in a wedding gown that they arenÕt going to need.  Apparently theyÉ.Oh, heÕs upset about some girl.  Interesting.  Wonder if itÕs that skanky Goth he brought to my wedding.  My wedding that didnÕt happen because Xander ŅwasnÕt readyÓ.  Like that matters when you have 120 people and demons all waiting to watch you get married!


           Boy, Spike is really not in good shape.  Funny.  I thought he had this thing for Buffy, but ...  Somebody has really broken his heart.  I guess he didnÕt want us to meet her for some reason. Maybe sheÕs a demon and he thought weÕd all be rude to her.   That weÕd make fun of her because she didnÕt know how to behave like a human.  Because thatÕs what the Scoobies do.  Make fun of demons or ex-demons who are doing their best to belongÉI wouldnÕt have done that. I would have been nice.


           No. SheÕs apparently human.  It must be that girl he brought to the wedding.  MY wedding.  That I didnÕt get.  Because Xander doesnÕt want to marry me.  Because he doesnÕt love me.  I thought he loved me, but he obviously doesnÕt or he wouldnÕt have left me at the altar like that.


           It must be me.  Maybe it was all the demons at the wedding?  He hates being reminded that I used to be a demon.  ThatÕs probably it.  HeÕs ashamed that I was a demonÉWhat?  Oh Spike wants something to kill his pain.  I donÕt know how to kill pain.  If I did, doesnÕt he think I would have done something about mine?


            There.  Brought out GilesÕ good scotch.  Maybe we can numb the pain for a while. Even if we canÕt make it go awayÉ Two demons drowning their sorrows because of what a couple of humans did to them.  What is wrong with this picture?  We should be making THEM cry.  Torturing and killing.  Not sitting here getting stinky drunk andÉandÉwhen did he move so close to me?


           I never knew Spike could be soÉsweet.  And understanding.  He knows how I feel. How it feels to be dumped because youÕre a demon.  Like we could help that! HeÕs so sympathetic. So nice to me. Telling me IÕm pretty and Xander is a wanker.  Whatever a wanker is. 


           Poor Spike. HeÕs so sad.  It almost makes me feel sorry for him.  That somebody hurt him too.  If I had a way, IÕd make it stop hurting for him.  I would. IÕd work a vengeance on her if he asked for it. 


          What is he doing?  What am I doing?  If our mouths get any closer weÕll beÉ ÓMoving onÓ he says.  Is that what weÕre doing?  Are we moving on?  To each other?  No.  Demon comfort. HeÕs offering demon comfort; or asking for it. IÕm not sure which of us needs it the most.  Probably me.  I mean itÕs not like his human left him at the altarÉIÕm definitely the more injured party here.  HeÕs going to make us both forget for a few minutes.  Humans wouldnÕt understand, but I do.  We give each other what we can and take solace from it.


           Why shouldnÕt I?  Spike likes me.  He thinks IÕm pretty.  He thinks that IÕm worth having.  And he doesnÕt care that I was a demon.  HeÕs a demon too, although, a very nice one.  With very soft lips. And a very nice body.  Not soft and squishy like XanderÕs.  And, what appears to be a very large penisÉ


           What an excellent kisser.  He could give Xander lessons.  Not that Xander needs lessonsÉor that heÕs ever going to touch these lips againÉbut if he did, he could learn from this vampire.  Wow! 


            I thought I wanted only Xander to give me orgasms.  But he doesnÕt want to anymore.  I think I wouldnÕt mind an orgasm from Spike.  He seems to be very skilled at this.  Here I am, on my back, on the table and half way to happy land already.  Whoever the girl is, she is very foolish to let this vampire get away.  He really knows how to Š oh, oh, oh, OH! 


              That was a wonderful orgasm.  And yet, oddly enough, I donÕt know if I feel any better. I should.  An attractive man has just given me an orgasm and told me how wonderful I am.  And I am.  Wonderful.  IÕm pretty and sexy and a good businesswoman, andÉ


              And I still got left at the altar by the man who said he loved me.  I still have to send back all the wedding presents.  I still have to face all those people who saw me get stood up at my own wedding.


             Thank you, Spike.  You made me feel special for a few minutes.  For just a little while you made me forget that Xander doesnÕt love me enough to marry me.  It was a nice break from feeling sorry for myself.  Orgasms always make me feel good, even if they donÕt last very long.


           I hope it made him feel better. He doesnÕt look any happier than he did when he came in. Maybe IÕll let him walk me home and see if he wants to make me feel better again.  Whoever that stupid girl is, she needs her head examined for breaking up with him.


           What the--? Xander?  What is he doing here?  And why does heŃoh no, donÕt hit Spike with the axe!  He knows.  Oh my god, he knows.  How can he know already? Oh, I canÕt believe this!  HeÕs yelling at me?  Like I did something wrong? 


           BuffyÕs here.  Why is Buffy here? And how did she know Xander was going to try to kill Spi--Oh my god.  Buffy.   It was Buffy.  The girl Spike was crying aboutÉthe one who broke his heart.  It was Buffy.  The Slayer.  Who doesnÕt look very happy about what we did.  I donÕt know how  Š but she and Xander both know what we just did.  Now Xander has stopped yelling at me so he can yell at her.  Spike probably shouldnÕt have said that Š that he was good enough for Buffy.  Now Xander REALLY wants to kill him.  For touching his precious Buffy.  That probably makes him madder than the orgasm Spike gave me. 


              HeÕs so mad she wonÕt let him kill Spike. SayÕs heÕs disgusted with both of us. HeÕs leaving.  He didnÕt even look at me after he finished yelling at Buffy.  I guess itÕs not too hard to see which of us he was most upset about Spike giving orgasms to.


              Now itÕs just us.  SpikeÕs still sitting on the ground where Xander left him.  He looks like he wishes Buffy hadnÕt stopped Xander from dusting him.  SheÕs just staring at him.  She looks like she wants to cryÉexcept she isnÕt.  Crying, I mean.  SheÕs getting that ŅSlayerÓ look.  The one that means she wants to kill something.  I wonder if I can sneak away before sheÉtoo late.  SheÕs looking at me now.


             I should say something.  Tell her I didnÕt know it was her Spike was talking about.  I never would have had sex with him if IÕd known he was hers.  Not even weÕre-both-miserable-because-our-humans-donÕt-want-us solace sex.


              I hope she doesnÕt know IÕm a demon again.  I should try to look very human.  Just like her. She doesnÕt kill humans.  Does she?



The End


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