Here is my Seasonal
Spuffy offering for this round.
It's pretty ordinary and kind of retro for me. I've been playing mostly
in various possible futures lately, but this is a Season Five AU fic that
follows a non-canon encounter between Spike and Buffy that leads to the events
in this fic. Thanks are owed Eowyn
who read the beginning of it a long time ago when it was just a bunny and
smacked me around until I cleaned up the most egregious of the canon issues
(Not all of them, I'm sure. Don't blame her - she tried!) And more thanks to my
two wonderful betas - Always_jbj and Just_Sue - who had to read the whole thing
and catch my other errors and inevitable typos. Any further mistakes are probably due to my incessant
fiddling and not at all their fault.
Disclaimer: Joss's characters, my twist on his Season
V
Summary: a sequel to my little pwp - How Can Something So Cold Make Me So Hot?
in which Buffy found to her surprise that Spike knew just how to cool down her
sunburn. All you really need to know about that ficlet is that Ms De Nile and
Mr Big Bad found themselves willing to use any excuse to give in to urges
neither one really knew they had. I don't think it's necessary to read that
first, but it's short and smutty so if that's your thing...
When the
Ice Has Melted
Bugger! I had her there – for just a
second, she was all mine. I know
she felt somethingÉ
Spike lay on the already cooling stone and stared at
the ceiling, idly noting all the cobwebs as he mulled over what had just
happened.
I donÕt care
how much she hurt, or how good that ice felt, thereÕs no way the Slayer –
Buffy – would have let me touch her like that if she didnÕt want me
to. SheÕs gonna deny it now
– know that, donÕt I? But I
was there. I felt it. She was
there with me for just a minute.
And she didnÕt stake me afterÉ
Chapter One
(1/9)
Buffy stood in front of the bathroom mirror and
peered at her back. YesterdayÕs
painful sunburn was only a memory, replaced by a rich golden tan that she knew
would fade almost as quickly.
Who knew being a slayer meant that your body was
going to consider a suntan as something to be healed? Somebody should really speak to the Council about that. It wasnÕt fair.
She continued muttering to herself about the
injustice of having to spend so many of her waking hours in the dark and then
not being able to keep a good tan for more than a day or so. No one appreciated how hard it was to
find the time needed to keep her sun-kissed complexion.
I guess
someday, when I donÕt have wrinkles, IÕll appreciate it. Assuming, of course, that I live long
enough to worry about wrinkles.
As long as she kept her attention on her skin and the
unfairness of living in southern California but having to work to maintain a
good tan, she didnÕt have to remember the incredibly sexy vampire and the
inventive way heÕd cooled her off the night before. Resolutely refusing to think about him, or the way her body
had responded to his skillful attention, she dressed in clothes that were much
more modest than what sheÕd worn the night before, and went downstairs to eat.
Dawn eyed her sweatshirt and the long, stretchy
workout pants and blinked in surprise.
ÒLast night you went out almost naked, today you look
like a nun – if nuns wore workout clothes and Sunnydale U sweatshirts. WhatÕs the matter, did the vamps spend
more time ogling than fighting?Ó
DawnÕs happy snort at her own humor faded as she saw
her sisterÕs face pale.
ÒOh my god! Buffy? Did somethingÉbadÉhappen last night? I thought you said you only saw two vamps
and that you dusted them?Ó
ÒNo, no. Nothing bad. I just felt kind ofÉexposed, so IÕm over compensating, I
guess.Ó
ÒSo, you didnÕt have any trouble with anything then?Ó
ÒNo, of course not. What gives a cranky sunburned slayer trouble?Ó
ÒRiiiightÉÓ DawnÕs voice clearly indicated her
disbelief, but she dropped the subject and went back to her cereal.
~~~~~~~~
Fortunately,
Joyce had already left for the gallery before Buffy left the house, and she
hadn't had to face those oh-so-perceptive ÒmomÓ eyes. She wore her baggy
clothing all day, ignoring the funny looks she got when she attended her only
class. When she joined Riley for lunch off campus, Buffy felt she was
sufficiently removed from the activities of the night before that she could
talk to him without stuttering.
ÒIsnÕt it a
little warm for that outfit?Ó he asked with a bemused smile.
ÒI got a bad
sunburn yesterday,Ó Buffy explained quickly. ÒIÕm trying to keep the sun off my
skin until itÕs all better.Ó
ÒOh, IÕm
sorry. ThatÕs a shame. So, I guess youÕre too sore forÉÓ
ÒForÉ?Ó Buffy
blinked at him in genuine confusion.
ÒWell, I donÕt
have to work this afternoon, and you donÕt have any classes, so I thought maybe
weÕdÉÓ
ÒYouÉweÉ
Right! YouÕre free for the rest of
the day, and IÕm free andÉweÕre both free.Ó
He nodded
slowly. ÒAre you all right, Buffy?
You didnÕt patrol last night did you?Ó
ÒWell, yeah, I
patrolled a little bit. I mean thatÕs what I do, isnÕt it? Patrol. CanÕt let a
little sunburn stop me from doing away with evilness.Ó
Riley made a
face. ÒAnd yet, Spike is still
walking around.Ó
ÒSpike? WhatÕs Spike got to do with anything?Ó Buffy knew her
suddenly high pitched voice was giving away her nervousness, but she couldnÕt
seem to control it. ÒI mean, if I
had seen him, what would it matter?Ó
RileyÕs eyes
narrowed as he watched her carefully.
ÒI didnÕt say youÕd seen him last night. I said he was still walking
around, in spite of living in the same town as ÔThe SlayerÕ.Ó He made air quotes around her title,
causing her own narrowed eyes as she waited for him to continue.
ÒIt doesnÕt
matter – not really. Except that everybody, including your mother and
sister, is way too comfortable around him to suit me, and I would have
thought-- No one seems to care
anymore that heÕs a bloodsucker. Even Xander talks about him like heÕs some
distant relative that he got stuck with.Ó
ÒXander was stuck with Spike for a while. They
wereÉroomiesÉ until Spike got the crypt. I guess they bonded or something. I
mean, they argue and say rude things to each other, but I think theyÕd miss it
if they didnÕt have each other to insult. ItÕs a guy thing.Ó
ÒBonded. With a
vampire.Ó
ÒHeh,Ó Buffy
gave a weak laugh. ÒWell, you know, weÕve had more time to get to knowÉ You
know what?Ó she interrupted herself cheerfully. ÒLetÕs talk about something else. Spike is just soÉsoÉnot
interesting.Ó
ÒExcept that,
according to you, if you wanted a guy with super powers, youÕd be dating Spike.
IsnÕt that what you said? Sounds
pretty interesting to me.Ó
ÒOh my god,
Riley!Ó Guilt lent emphasis to BuffyÕs protestations. ÒI just pulled his name out of my butt. I was trying to save
your life, remember? Cause you had
this stupid idea that I wouldnÕt want you anymore if you didnÕt have all your
enhancements.Ó
Riley
nodded. ÒRight. And yet, here I
am, all unenhanced and you just get more and more distant and less and less
interested in spending time with me.Ó
Buffy
paled. Resolutely forcing memories
of last nightÕs inventive and oh-so-satisfying sex from her mind, she smiled
gamely. ÒSunburn, remember? But, you know, Slayer healing and all
that. I should be fine in a dayÉor two.
Why donÕt we just make it a date? ForÉumÉThursday night? Thursday night weÕll go out and then
weÕll go back to your place and haveÉumÉdo stuff.Ó
ÒDo stuff? I was thinking we might make love,Ó he
said slowly, his eyes clouded with suspicion.
ÒRight! Make
love. ThatÕs the expression I was looking for. IsnÕt it funny how something can just be right on the tip of
your tongue and you just canÕt spit it out?Ó She beamed at him, wearing her best "IÕm a blondeÓ
smile and waited for him to relax.
ÒSo, Thursday, right? Is that okay?Ó
ÒI guess itÕll
have to be,Ó he agreed. ÒBut today is only Monday. I thought you said youÕd be
healed in a day or two?Ó
ÒJust trying to
be safe,Ó she said quickly. She
was becoming such a good liar. It was amazing, really. ÒYou know, just in case.
I donÕt want to be too sore to participate.Ó
ÒRight. Well
that makes sense, I guess. How
about if I help you patrol tonight? ItÕs been awhile since we did that
together, too.Ó
ÒPatrol?Ó
ÒYes. If you
arenÕt at a hundred percent because of that sunburn, you could probably use
somebody to watch your back, right?Ó
ÒOh. Yes.
Right. GoodÉgood idea. YouÕll watch my back and IÕll
justÉpatrol.Ó
ÒYou were
planning to, werenÕt you? If you did it last night, l wouldnÕt expect you to
skip it tonight.Ó
ÒNo. I mean,
yes. Of course IÕm planning to patrol. Just like I did last night when I was
still doing an imitation of a Buffy lamp.Ó
ÒWere you all
right?Ó His genuine concern
snapped her out of her memories of the previous nightÕs patrol. ÒWere you able to slay?Ó
ÒWhat? Oh, yeah. It was okay. Kind of ouchie,
but they dusted anyway.Ó
ÒSee? You need
me. I can do the staking and keep you from being ouchie.Ó
ÒHeh.Ó
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Insisting that
sheÕd covered Restfield the previous evening, Buffy managed to steer Riley away
from anywhere Spike might be lurking.
They went through several of the newer, smaller cemeteries on the other
side of town, dusting two fledglings just as they were digging themselves
out. Buffy stood back and let
Riley do the honors, watching carefully just in case he was overestimating his
current abilities. However, even
without his enhancements, he was a big, strapping man and his stake went
through the vampsÕ chests with no problem.
ÒDonÕt think I
didnÕt notice you watching me,Ó he said as they walked back to his SUV. ÒDid you think I couldnÕt do it?Ó
ÒOf course I
knew you could do it,Ó she protested.
ÒItÕs not like I havenÕt seen you stake any vampires sinceÉ I assumed
you could; I was really justÉadmiring your technique.Ó
ÒI donÕt want
you treating me like IÕm helpless,Ó he growled, ignoring the weak
compliment. ÒLike IÕm something
you have to protect. ThatÕs not
your job.Ó
ÒActually,Ó she
said quietly, Òthat is my job, Riley.
You know this. IÕm here to protect. You, my friends, total strangers. Anyone
whoÕs in danger. I was Chosen to keep people safe.Ó
ÒThatÕs a bit
grandiose, donÕt you think?Ó he scoffed.
ÒYouÕre a vampire slayer. An interesting job description, but hardly a
sacred calling.Ó
Buffy shook her
head. It was an ongoing argument between them – RileyÕs post-Initiative
view of the creatures she fought as just some sort of particularly repulsive
animals; and, by extension, his insistence that whatever the Council of
Watchers used to provide their slayers with the power necessary to fight
vampires and demons, it had to have a scientific explanation. Nothing heÕd seen or heard about from
her or Giles had convinced him differently.
While Buffy
stared at him with her mouth open, she felt tingles on the back of her neck.
She was already slipping her stake into her hand when she recognized the
tingles for what they were and relaxed.
She glared in their direction, hoping Spike would get the message to
remain out of sight.
ÒDumbass!Ó she
muttered as the unmistakable bright blond head appeared, heading in their
direction.
ÒI beg your
pardon?Ó
ÒOh, not you,
Riley. Sorry! I meant him.Ó She pointed towards the vampire now walking towards
them with that rolling strut that he used when he wanted to be intimidating.
Buffy put her
hands on her hips and glared as Spike strode up to them.
ÒSee you brought
your own help tonight, Slayer,Ó he said, giving Riley an insolent stare.
ÒYes. I have
help, thank you,Ó she said through gritted teeth. ÒWhy donÕt you go back and see what you can find to kill in
your own cemetery?Ó
ÒIt wasnÕt as
much fun there tonight as it was last night,Ó he replied with a smirk. ÒI
thought maybe I could find something more to do out here.Ó
ÒBuffy? What does he mean Ôbrought your own
help tonightÕ? And whatÕs with the Ôthank youÕ? Did you go to him for help last night?Ó
ÒNo, Riley. I
didnÕt Ôgo to himÕ for help. He just happened to be there when I was fighting
some vamps. You know Spike, he
just canÕt resist getting into somebody elseÕs fightÉÓ
The look she
sent Spike was suddenly less angry and more pleading – ruining completely
his plan to drop innuendos until the dense soldier figured out that something
had happened between his girl friend and the vampire he hated. At BuffyÕs silent entreaty, he folded
and nodded to her before turning to leave.
ÒGood to know
youÕve got someone to watch your back tonight, Slayer,Ó he said as he moved
away. ÒTake care of that sunburn.Ó
In a few
seconds, he had disappeared into the shadows as though heÕd never been there.
ÒYou didnÕt tell
me youÕd seen Spike last night,Ó Riley said through tight lips, still staring
into the direction that the vampire had taken.
ÒIt wasnÕt
relevant,Ó Buffy sighed. ÒAnd I
knew youÕd just get allÉweirdÉif I told you he helped me out.Ó
ÒSo, you lied to
me?Ó
ÒBy omission, I
guess. I just didnÕt want to deal with this.Ó
ÒWith ÔthisÕ?Ó
ÒYour
overreaction any time I mention Spike.Ó
ÒSpike. That
would be the monster with superpowers that youÕd be dating if thatÕs what you
wanted.Ó
Buffy rolled her
eyes and blew out an explosive breath.
ÒAnd there you are. Making a big deal out of—Ó She stopped,
her inability to continue to lie and her guilt at knowing she was lying –
more than he could imagine – preventing her from continuing. ÒIÕm sorry,Ó she said softly. ÒI just thought it would be better not
to mention that I ran into Spike. I didnÕt mean to lie to you.Ó
He nodded, then
pulled her into a clumsy hug as he leaned against the car. ÒIÕm sorry, too,Ó he said. ÒI know IÕm a bit defensive now. And I really donÕt understand why heÕs
still walking around. IsnÕt that
your job? Slaying vampires?Ó
ÒNot vampires
that are currently harmless, who help me protect my family, and who have even
helped me save the world,Ó she said shortly. RileyÕs one-note speech was really getting old.
As if
recognizing that heÕd pushed about as far as it would be wise to go, Riley
dropped the subject, instead whispering in her ear about how eager he was for
it to be Thursday. When he tried
to slide his hands under her shirt, she flinched involuntarily.
ÒOh, IÕm sorry!
I forgot all about the sunburn. I didnÕt mean to hurt you.Ó
ÒItÕs okay,Ó she
mumbled, embarrassed at his misinterpretation of what had happened, but not
inclined to correct him.
Not that she was
sure why she had flinched from his touch on her bare skin – only that his
hand was warm and unwelcome. With
a minimum of touching, she managed to get him to say goodnight and to stop
insisting on driving her home ÒsafelyÓ. She wasnÕt sure why she no longer
wanted to spend all her time with her boyfriend, but she didnÕt want him around
while she tried to figure it out. Buffy responded to his lengthy goodnight kiss
with as much enthusiasm as she could, then quickly disengaged herself and
started walking away before he could restart the argument.
ÒGoodnight,
Riley,Ó she said, waving and walking faster.
ÒCall me when
you get home,Ó he called after her, miming a phone call when she turned to
answer him.
She nodded and
continued walking. She was a full
two blocks away before the vampire who had been keeping pace with her emerged
from the trees and fell into step at her left.
ÒIÕm sorry,
pet,Ó he said with apparent sincerity.
ÒYou oughta be,Ó
she muttered. ÒI spent most of my
lunch time today convincing him that youÉand then you show up and tell him you
were there last night. Now he
thinks I was lying to him.Ó
ÒWere you?Ó
ÒWhose side are
you on?Ó
His full laugh
brought a small smile to her face.
ÒDidnÕt know I had to choose one, but if I do, you know itÕs yours. Not
that tin soldierÕs.Ó
ÒWell, if youÕre
on my side, youÕll stop doing things that annoy my boyfriend.Ó
ÒWhy? Annoying
the big git is one of the few pleasures left to me, innit? Why would you ask me
to give that up?Ó
ÒBecause that
Ôbig gitÕ could still dust you.
You canÕt fight him, and heÕs still strong and he still knows how to use
a stake.Ó
ÒWorried about
me, are you?Ó His voice was softer
and uncomfortably reminiscent of the heated whispers of the night before.
ÒAs if!Ó
ÒRight. No
problem then.Ó
ÒSpikeÉÓ
ÒAlright, luv.
IÕll be careful. I was just windinÕ
you up.Ó
Her sigh of
relief didnÕt go unnoticed and he studied her out of the corner of his eye.
ÒIÕm not a fashion expert, but I think I
preferred last nightÕs ensemble to this one.Ó
Buffy blushed
and tugged on her sweatshirt, but refused to look at him or acknowledge the
leering laughter in his voice.
ÒThat for my
benefit?Ó he asked. ÒCause if so,
IÕve got to tell you that covering the goodies isnÕt gonna keep me from wanting
them. Not now that--Ó
ÒDonÕt.Ó
ÒBuffy—Ó
ÒI said ÔDonÕtÕ. DonÕt talk about it. DonÕt think
about it.Ó
ÒCanÕt do that,
pet. I can try to keep my mouth
shut, but not think about it? Not possible. CanÕt think about anything else.Ó
ÒWell try!Ó
ÒAre you
tryinÕ?Ó
ÒYes!Ó
ÒAnÕ howÕs that
working out for you?Ó
ÒJust fine,Ó she
said stiffly. ÒIÕve completely forgotten about it.Ó
ÒIs that
so?Ó He pivoted in front of her,
causing her to run into his chest. Before she could back up, he caught her arms
and dipped his head to nuzzle her neck.
ÒProve it.Ó His lips
fastened on hers, refusing to let her ignore them and their softness. When she surrendered with a small
whimper in the back of her throat, he sent his tongue out to meet hers.
They kissed
until BuffyÕs knees began to give out and the vampire was holding her to his body
with a grip that her mind refused to stop comparing to RileyÕs only human
arms. Summoning every scrap of
will power she had, Buffy straightened her legs and pushed on his chest until
he let her go.
ÒBuff—Ó
ÒNo.Ó
Forcing her
recalcitrant knees to cooperate, Buffy stepped out of reach and began backing
away. She avoided looking
into SpikeÕs face, grateful for the darkness that made it hard to see the
expression on it, as she continued to back away, shaking her head silently.
She heard Spike
give an explosive sigh; then he said in a more normal voice, ÒAlright,
Slayer. Not gonna beg for it. Come on, then, IÕll walk you home. Ò
ÒIf I didnÕt
need Riley take me home, what makes you think I need you to do it?Ó
ÒBecause, unlike
the enormous Boy Scout, I know you
donÕt need me to see you home. IÕm doing it because I want to spend a
little more time with you, not because I think you canÕt take care of
yourself.Ó
ÒOh.Ó
At a loss for
any more articulate reply, and unwilling to remind Spike that Riley wanted to
spend time with her just as much as he did, Buffy resumed her interrupted walk,
taking side streets and strolling through small parks instead of taking the
most direct route. She took great
care not to walk close enough to Spike to accidentally brush against him as he
paced beside her, providing encouraging commentary when she had to stop and
stake two newly turned vampires lurking in one of the parks.
Confident that
the stakings justified her decision to take the long way home, Buffy pointed in
the direction of Revello Drive and began to walk more briskly. They were
silent, each lost in their own thoughts as they hurried through the dimly lit
streets. As they approached her
own block, Buffy felt Spike drop back and she turned a questioning look on him.
ÒAm I going too
fast for you?Ó
ÒI think you
have company, love. Looks like a
goodnight kiss is out of the question.Ó
ÒI wasnÕt
planning a goodnight kiss!Ó she huffed.
ÒWell, I was,Ó
he said, touching her gently in the small of her back. ÒBut guess somebody else had the same
thought. Goodnight, Slayer.Ó
Without another
word, he melted away into the shadows, leaving a puzzled but relieved Buffy to
continue alone. As she neared her
house, she saw RileyÕs car and realized why Spike had decided not to come all
the way with her.
ÒVampire has
more sense than my boyfriend does,Ó she muttered, wondering if she could stomp
right past RileyÕs car without acknowledging his presence.
Which she might
have, if the man in question hadnÕt stepped out and called her by name. With a sigh, she stopped and turned
towards the car, making no attempt to appear glad to see him.
ÒWhat is it,
Riley? Is there something wrong?Ó
ÒYou mean other
than it took you about four times as long to get here as it should have?Ó he
muttered. ÒI waited for you to call me, and when you didnÕt, I went looking for
you.Ó
ÒExcuse me? Were you timing me?Ó
ÒNo,Ó he sighed,
tossing something into the car. ÒI wasnÕt timing you, I just know how long it
should take to get here and I expected you to call me a good thirty or forty
minutes ago. I was worried about
you, Buffy,Ó he finished softly.
Biting back the
comment she wanted to make about how her nighttime activities didnÕt always
allow her to keep to a schedule, she edged closer to the car and peered in to
see what Riley had dropped inside. She caught a glimpse of night vision goggles
before Riley stepped between her and the car.
ÒWere you spying on me too?Ó
Unaware of his
own motions, Riley flinched back from the small woman glaring at him from the
sidewalk.
ÒNo. I always
have those with me. I just used them to look down the street. I thought I saw
something following you—Ó
ÒAnd what did
you see?Ó
ÒNothing,Ó he
admitted. ÒWhatever it was, it
must have realized you were the Slayer and changed its mind.Ó
ÒProbably a good
decision,Ó she said. ÒIÕm not really in the mood for having my progress towards
my bed interrupted.Ó She put her
hands on her hips. ÒWhich brings us back to – what are you doing here?Ó
ÒIÉ I just
thoughtÉI wanted to be sure that youÉ
Why do I have to explain why I might be worried about you? YouÕre my
girlfriend. You know, the girl whoÕs supposed to enjoy my company?Ó
Even as her
conscience told her that she was being a bitch and unreasonable, Buffy sighed
and rolled her eyes.
ÒRileyÉIÕm the
Slayer. I could walk to the store
for milk and end up taking two days if I run into a... a mini-apocalypse or
something. I know you mean well. And I understand that you worry, and I
think itÕs sweet. I do. But I canÕt live my life trying to remember not to do
things that are going to make you worry.
I would have called you as soon as I got in. I swear.Ó
ÒSo, taking so
long to get home had nothing to do with Spike? You didnÕt stop to see him on the way home?Ó
Buffy stared at
him, only the knowledge that to deny it would be only technically the truth
kept her mouth shut. Instead, she tried to reason with him.
ÒRiley, about
SpikeÉÓ She sighed and rubbed her upper arms. ÒThe thing isÉÓ
ÒThe thing is,
youÕve been spending more time around him than you do me. You canÕt possibly
need his help that often.Ó
Buffy rolled her
eyes and carefully avoided responding to his blatant jealousy.
ÒWhat I was going to say,Ó she said through tightly
clenched teeth, Òis that with this Glory skank looking for her long lost key
all over the place, I need the extra backup. SheÕd never think to look in SpikeÕs crypt for my mom or
Dawn, and if she does, heÕs probably strong enough to stall her until they can
get away.Ó
ÒAnd you trust him
to do that for you? Are you crazy?
HeÕs a vampire! He canÕt be trusted. That chip is the only thing keeping him
from tearing their throats out.Ó
Buffy shrugged
and shook her head. ÒSpikeÕs never
lied to me or broken a promise. And heÕs never tried to hurt my mom or sister
– even though I never had his invitation revoked. I donÕt think heÕd hurt them, chip or
no chip.Ó
ÒHe kills slayers! IsnÕt that what you told
me? That heÕs known as Ôthe slayer of slayersÕ? And yet you trust him to
protect your family.Ó His voice dripped disbelief.
Buffy squirmed
uncomfortably. ÒWell, yeah, he
doesÉ he hasÉ killed two slayers. But he likes to do it in a fair fight. HeÕs not going to come at me through my
family like An—"She coughed. ÒAnother vampire might.Ó
ÒHave you
forgotten that when he thought he had the chip out, he tried to bite you?Ó
Buffy flushed as
she remembered how it felt to have SpikeÕs body pinning her the floor while his
fangs grazed her throat.
ÒThat would have
been a fair fight. I never said he
didnÕt want to fight me anymore. I
said he wouldnÕt come at me through my family. HeÉhe likes my mom and
Dawn. And they like him. ItÕs got nothing to do with
Slayer/vampire stuff.Ó
ÒI think he
wants you. ThatÕs why heÕs helping. If he can't have you one way, he'll have
you another. ThatÕs why he isnÕt trying to find ways to kill you. I canÕt
believe you canÕt see it.Ó
ÒRiley—Ò
Buffy bit her lip and tried not think about how sheÕd reacted earlier to
SpikeÕs kiss. ÒThisÉthis helping
isnÕt anything but another truce between us. He gets an outlet for his violence, and I get backup
muscle. ItÕs nothing but a
business arrangement.Ó
ÒWell, I donÕt
like it. Business or not, IÕm just as capable of helping you as he is.Ó
Buffy opened and
shut her mouth, shook her head in disbelief, turned wordlessly and walked to
her front door. She opened the
door and slammed it behind her without acknowledging RileyÕs presence
again. She gave her sleepy mother
an apologetic wave as Joyce peered out to see what had made the loud noise.
ÒSorry, Mom,Ó
she whispered. ÒHow do you feel?Ó
ÒI feel fine,
Buffy. I told you, the headaches are gone. Is that RileyÕs car out there?Ó
ÒYeah.Ó
ÒDid he bring
you home? That was nice of him.Ó
ÒHe did not bring me home – he was spying
on me to see how long I was going to take to get home from where I told him
goodnight.Ó
ÒOh. Why would he do that?Ó
ÒBecause heÕs an
insecure jerk? I donÕt know, but
if he keeps it up I may just make sure he does see something he doesnÕt want to.Ó BuffyÕs voice trailed off to an angry
mutter as she joined her mother at the top of the stairs.
ÒMeaning that he might have seen something?Ó Joyce said,
giving Buffy a shrewd look. ÒWhat
might have he seen? Spike?Ó With a laugh, Joyce turned away from
her speechless daughter and went into her bedroom.
ÒGoodnight, Buffy,Ó her voice floated
back as the door closed on the still-frozen slayer.
Wearing more
normal clothes than the baggy sweats of the night before, Buffy left to patrol
the following evening, telling her laughing mother that if Riley parked in
front of the house again she should call the police on him.
ÒYou donÕt mean
that, Buffy,Ó Joyce said with an understanding smile.
ÒThe hell I
donÕt,Ó Buffy muttered, stuffing her stakes into pockets and her
waistband. She pulled her hair
into a business-like ponytail and grabbed a light jacket. ÒDonÕt wait up.Ó
ÒAll right.
Goodnight, honey. Say ÔhiÕ to
Spike for me, please.Ó At BuffyÕs thunderous look, she amended, ÒIf you see him
of course.Ó
ÒYou think
youÕre smart, donÕt you?Ó Buffy said, trying not to return her motherÕs
smile.
ÒI think IÕm
more than capable of reading a vampireÕs face – at least one that IÕve
known as long as IÕve know Spike.
HeÕs interested in you, and if youÕre giving him any sort of
encouragementÉÓ
I wonder if having sex with him in his crypt could be
considered encouragement?
Aloud, she said,
ÒItÕs complicated, Mom. I need him
right now. For some reason, Riley
doesnÕt get that. That Spike is
the only one, other than me, who is strong enough to slow Glory down.Ó
ÒWell, if thatÕs
all it is, I think you need to be very clear about it with Spike. I like him,
and I really would hate to see him get hurt.Ó
ÒOh, me too,
Mom. ThatÕs why I want to keep
Riley away from him, and–Ó
ÒBuffy,Ó her
mother said gently, ÒI meant hurt by you.
If he thinks he has a reason to hope forÉmore than your gratitude.Ó
Buffy had no
response to that. Worrying about
hurting the feelings of a vampire was just not something that had ever been on
her radar. She nodded ambiguously and waved her hand as she went out the door.
She sent a quick
glance up and down the street, wondering if Riley would be stubborn enough to
show up again. When she saw no
sign of him, she began to walk in the direction of Restfield cemetery, telling
herself that she hadnÕt been there for two nights and if she happened to see
Spike, and if he wanted to offer some extra muscle in case she ran into Glory
or her minionsÉ
Two fledglings
and a small demon that ran off later, she was sure the area was clear and she
still hadnÕt seen Spike. Not that
she was really looking for him. Or actually wanted to see him. Or had any
intention of repeating the huge mistake of a few nights agoÉ
Shaking off the
disappointment that she refused to acknowledge, she left Restfield and headed
for the next cemetery on her rounds for the evening. Unlike RileyÕs former comrades, she didnÕt follow a regular
route when she patrolled, preferring to mix it up so that fledglings lucky
enough to have had someone planning to wait for them to rise would find nothing
but dust when they finally crawled out of their graves.
The unmistakable
sounds of conflict coming from the far end of Sunset Hills sent her running in
that direction, stake in hand. She
skidded to a stop when she saw what had been making the noise. Spike was on the ground, holding his
head and moaning while Riley stood over him and snarled, ÒDonÕt think youÕre
fooling me, Spike. Buffy might
think youÕre just helping her out of the kindness of your heart, but I know
better. If you want to stay
undead, I suggest you find somebody elseÕs girlfriend to ÔhelpÕ. Buffy doesnÕt need you.Ó
He followed up
his tirade with a well-placed kick to SpikeÕs side, one that would surely have
broken ribs and perhaps even been fatal to a human.
ÒBuffy does need
him,Ó she said into the brief silence.
ÒAnd even if she didnÕt, that would be no excuse for you to beat up on
somebody who canÕt fight back.Ó
Riley looked up,
surprise and guilt fighting with the anger still visible on his face.
ÒThis isnÕt a
ÔsomebodyÕ, Buffy, itÕs a something. And
the sooner you and your Scoobies realize thatÉÓ
ÒGo home,
Riley,Ó she said quietly. ÒAnd let
me worry about what my friends and I realize.Ó
ÒBut, heÉ he
attacked me!Ó Riley blustered. ÒHe
just came out of nowhere and...Ó
ÒAnd
deliberately set off that chip so that heÕd be on his knees and helpless when
you retaliated? Try again, Riley.
Even Spike isnÕt that impulsive.Ó
ÒSo, youÕre choosing
him over me, huh? I was right.Ó
ÒIÕm choosing to
stop you from hurting him. If that
means IÕm choosing SpikeÕs welfare over your need to boost your ego by beating
him up, then, yeah, I guess I am.Ó
ÒFine,Ó he
snorted. ÒTake care of your pet vampire and send your boyfriend away. But donÕt expect me to take this kind
of crap forever, Buffy.Ó
Speechless,
Buffy just gaped at the oblivious man.
Was he just threatening to break up with her? Did he have no idea how close she was to dumping him right on
the spot?
A wet cough from
Spike brought BuffyÕs attention back to him and she gave a little cry as she
noticed the dark stain on his mouth.
SheÕd been a slayer long enough to recognize blood when she saw it, no
matter how dark the night. She
knelt down beside him, and gently forced him to lie down so that she could go
over his body. The jagged edges of
several broken ribs protruded through the skin and it didnÕt take a medical
degree to figure out that the other ends had probably punctured his lungs.
ÒGood thing you
donÕt have to breathe,Ó she muttered. ÒA human would probably be dead by now.Ó
She rolled him
over carefully and ran her hands over his back, wincing when she felt the
spasming muscle where RileyÕs booted foot had connected with his back, just
missing his spine.
ÒDo you think
you can stand? I donÕt think I can carry you without hurting you more.Ó
ÒGive us a
minute, pet, and IÕll try.Ó He gasped.
ÒI think I can. He hadnÕt got to my legs yet.Ó He stopped speaking and Buffy remembered that his lungs were
probably full of pieces of broken rib.
ÒYet? You mean that wasnÕt the first kick?Ó
He shook his
head dumbly. Using her arm as his support, he pulled himself to a sitting
position, wincing with pain as he did so.
He paused there; then with a small nod he allowed her to help him get to
his feet. He stood for a minute,
swaying slightly before he straightened up. They began walking slowly towards the gate, Buffy doing her
best to support him without putting pressure on any of his broken or bruised
areas.
Just as they
reached the gate, they heard raised voices. Buffy left Spike propped against a tree and went to
investigate, finding Xander and Riley deep in conversation. She bit her lip, shrugged, and slipped
behind a stone gatepost to listen.
ÒIÕm telling
you, Xander, heÕs not chipped anymore.
He attacked me. I barely got away." Riley waved his arms around for
emphasis. "And I know heÕs
looking for Buffy. We have to stop
him before he gets to her; she trusts him too much andÉÓ
ÒYeah, I get all
that, big guy, but killing Buffy?
I just donÕt see it happening – and not just because she can kick
his ass.Ó
ÒHeÕs a
dangerous killer!Ó
ÒWhoÕs never
killed anybody Buffy cares about.
I just donÕt see it, man. I
donÕt feel right about staking him without talking to her first.Ó
ÒAre you going
to make me do this myself?Ó
ÒWellÉyeahÉgood
point. YouÕre the big Army guy. Why do you need me?Ó
ÒHe trusts
you. HeÕll let you get closeÉhe
wouldnÕt do that with me. HeÕd run away or something.Ó
Xander frowned.
ÒSee, thereÕs
another thing. I just canÕt picture Spike running away from anybody if his chip
isnÕt working – especially, you. No offense, but heÕs got reason to hate
you.Ó He stopped talking and gave
an embarrassed shrug.
ÒAre you crazy?
Do you hear yourself? This is
Hostile Seventeen weÕre talking about – Spike, William the Bloody. HeÕd kill me in a heartbeat.Ó
ÒMaybeÉÓ Xander
seemed dubious. ÒI donÕt know, man.
I just think IÕd better talk to Buffy first.Ó
ÒWe donÕt have
time. He should be back in his
crypt pretty soon. We need to do
it now. Trust me, Buffy will thank you.Ó
ÒTrust me, she
wonÕt.Ó
Both men spun
around at the sound of the SlayerÕs voice. Without taking her eyes off Riley, she gestured behind her.
ÒXander, will
you go get Spike, please? HeÕs just back there. HeÕll need some help,Ó she added as he walked past her
without question.
ÒBuffyÉÓ Riley
thought frantically, trying to figure out how much Buffy might have heard.
ÒDonÕt talk to
me. I can barely look at you right
now. I definitely donÕt want to talk to you.Ó Suddenly the angry slayer was gone and a bewildered girl was
in her place. Her eyes blinking
back tears, she whispered, ÒHow could I have so misjudged you? I thought you wereÉÓ
She shook her head
as Xander and Spike made their way slowly out the gate and over to XanderÕs
truck, turning her back on Riley and hurrying to help Xander get Spike into the
bed of the pickup. With the aid of
a street lamp, Buffy could now see that SpikeÕs face was a mass of bruises,
indicating that Riley had been working on him for some time before she
interrupted the one-sided fight.
She shot one final glare over her shoulder, and then climbed up beside
the injured vampire.
ÒTake us to my
house, please, Xander,Ó she said, sliding behind Spike and putting his head on
her lap.
He raised his
eyebrows, but nodded and closed the tailgate, walking around to the driverÕs
side. Before opening the door, he
sent Riley a puzzled, disappointed look, then got in and drove off leaving the
ex-Initiative soldier standing on the sidewalk.
Xander drove
slowly and carefully, occasionally peering in his rearview mirror to see Buffy
leaning over, apparently talking to Spike. As much as he thought he disliked the vampire, he found
himself feeling slightly sick about what it seemed Riley had done to him. Obviously Riley had lied about the chip
not working; had that been the case, the ex-commando would be drained and dead
now. Or, at a minimum, as he
remembered what heÕd told Riley about SpikeÕs unwillingness to kill anyone
Buffy cared about, it wouldnÕt have been the vampire with the bruises and
broken bones.
When they got to
BuffyÕs house, they repeated their motions in reverse – sliding Spike
from the truck bed and doing their best to support him without pressing against
any of his broken ribs. He stood
unsteadily beside Xander while Buffy opened the door and waved them in. Joyce, who had just been on her way
upstairs to bed, took one look at the battered vampire and pointed to the living
room.
ÒPut him on the
couch,Ó she said. ÒIÕll get the
first aid kit.Ó
As the mother of
the Slayer, JoyceÕs first aid kit was a little more elaborate than one might
normally find in a suburban kitchen.
In addition to the usual gauze, bandages and ointments, it had splints,
athletic tape - even a small suturing kit.
She handed Buffy
the kit and went back to the kitchen for hot water and towels, returning with a
basin of water and some clean dishcloths.
While Xander watched, unconsciously flexing his fists as SpikeÕs
injuries became more visible, Buffy carefully cut off his tee shirt, exposing
the jagged bones pushing through the pale skin in several places.
After seeing
blood every time SpikeÕs attempts to talk turned into wet coughs, Buffy shushed
him sternly. Joyce moved to his
head and took one hand in hers, allowing him to squeeze when BuffyÕs attempts
to push the ribs back into place caused him more pain than he could hide. She stopped in frustration, unable to
keep them flattened down long enough to get tape around his chest. Finally,
Xander stepped timidly forward.
ÒJust let meÉÓ
He nudged Joyce to one side and gently pulled both of SpikeÕs hands over his
head, stretching out the battered chest and allowing the ribs to slide back
into place. ÒSorry, Spike,Ó he
mumbled when the involuntary gasp that accompanied his motions escaped the
vampireÕs mouth.
With Spike
stretched out so that he was flat from hip to shoulder, Buffy could more easily
move the ribs back into place. She
picked up the tape, then sighed.
ÒHeÕs going to
have to sit up, Xan,Ó she said with an apologetic look at Spike. He gave her a short nod and braced
himself as all three humans helped him get upright, Xander still holding his
arms up so that Buffy could wrap his ribs in layers of soft gauze and
tape. When she was done, they
lowered him to a horizontal position again and she went to work cleaning up the
cuts and bruises on his face.
The whole time
she worked on him, she kept her eyes turned away from his – unwilling to
see the dawning emotion she could almost feel pouring off him. Joyce and Xander had stepped back,
their help no longer needed as Buffy quickly washed off the blood and placed
cold packs on his cheek and head.
Still without speaking or looking directly into SpikeÕs eyes, Buffy
stood up and carried the bloody water and cloths to the kitchen.
In the living
room, Spike had closed his eyes; without any chest movement to give it away,
Joyce and Xander had no idea if he was awake and conscious, or completely out
of it.
ÒHe looks dead,Ó
Joyce whispered.
ÒUm, yeah, kinda
the description of a vampire. Living dead? Ringing any horror movie bells?Ó
She flushed and
nodded. ÒI knew that,Ó she
insisted. ÒItÕs just that Spike is always soÉso vibrant.Ó
ÒYeah, he is
surprisingly quiet for somebody who lives to annoy,Ó Xander agreed, grinning
when he noticed SpikeÕs irritated twitch.
ÒDo you think
heÕs going to be all right?Ó
ÒOh yeah. BuffyÕll get him the blood of some poor
pig and heÕll be fine in a day or so. Vamps heal really fast – even
harmless, ineffectual, weak onesÉÓ
ÒI can hear you,
you know,Ó Spike managed to get out before coughing again.
ÒI know,Ó Xander
said with great satisfaction. ÒBut you canÕt do anything about it without
coughing and making Buffy yell at you.
ItÕs kind of a win-win for me.Ó
Just as heÕd
predicted, Buffy came back in the room just in time to hear Spike coughing up
more blood as he attempted verbal retaliation. While Buffy scolded and grumbled, Xander grinned at the glaring
vampire, making rude gestures behind BuffyÕs back until Joyce stopped him.
ÒXander! IÕm
ashamed of you. Taking advantage of SpikeÕs condition like that!Ó
Doing his best
to appear sorry, Xander apologized.
ÒSorry, Mrs Summers. It isnÕt that often I get a chance to pick on the
evil undead there without having to listen to him talk back.Ó He stretched and started towards the
door. ÒBut now that heÕs all safe
and sound here, I guess IÕd better get home before Anya sends out a search
party.Ó
ÒThanks, Xan,Ó
Buffy said, walking to the door with him and giving him a brief hug. ÒI donÕt
know what I would have done without you and your truck.Ó
ÒNo problem,
Buffy. IÕm just ÉI donÕt get
Riley. ThatÕs not like him.Ó
ÒI wouldnÕt have
thought so either,Ó Buffy said, sadness flickering across her face. ÒBut itÕs not just what he did to
Spike, itÕs what he was trying to get you to do. The way he lied, andÉÓ She
shook herself. ÒI guess IÕll worry
about that tomorrow. Right now I need to get some blood into Spike.Ó
He nodded. ÒSee ya, Buffy, so long Mrs
Summers.Ó He hesitated, then
called out, ÒTry not to run into any more fists, fangface.Ó
By the time
Buffy had closed the door on Xander, Joyce had already been to the kitchen and
back with a mug of warmed pigs blood.
Buffy took it from her hand, bending the straw so that Spike could reach
it without sitting up again.
ÒGo to bed, Mom.
IÕll take care of this. You need
your sleep.Ó
ÒAll right,
honey. If youÕre sureÉÓ
ÒWeÕll be
fine. YouÕll be amazed when you
get up tomorrow to see how recovered Spike is. I promise. Go on. Go to bed.Ó
With a grateful
nod, and a pat to the top of SpikeÕs head, Joyce walked out and climbed the
stairs to her bedroom, too tired to worry about what she had just learned about
BuffyÕs boyfriend and his capacity for cruelty and violence.
Chapter Four (4/9)
Buffy held the
cup close to SpikeÕs mouth, guiding the straw through his lips and watching
while he pulled deep draughts of blood into his depleted body. She had a flashback to the year before
when he had first come to them with his chip and she had teased him
unmercifully while feeding him in a similar fashion. Their relationship had certainly changed since then. A quick glance at his face told her
that he was remembering the same thing.
He dropped his head back onto the small pillow under it and attempted a
smile.
ÒJusÕ like old
times, eh, pet?Ó he managed to say before Buffy shushed him again.
ÒBe quiet. The less you move around and talk, the
faster youÕll heal.Ó
He gave a very
small nod, barely moving his head, then, ignoring her instructions he said,
ÒDonÕt know why youÕre doing this, Slayer, but I appreciate it. You couldÕve just taken me back to my
crypt andÉÓ
ÒI wouldnÕt do
that to you,Ó she mumbled, still not meeting his gaze. ÒThis is my fault.Ó
ÒDonÕt be
stupid,Ó he said shortly. ÒNot a one of these bruises bears the mark of your
little fists or feet. The big git is just using me to make himself feel better
about beinÕ normal again.Ó
ÒThatÕs not
true and you know it. He did it
because of meÉbecause he thinks youÉthat IÉÓ She stopped and blushed. ÒAnd he doesnÕt even know aboutÉÓ She
sighed. ÒI guess I should have
just gone ahead and slept with him last night – then he wouldnÕt be so—Ó
A bloodcurdling
snarl burst from the vampireÕs throat, bringing on another bout of coughing,
this time without blood. Buffy
shrank back in surprise, until she saw the expression on his face. She blushed again.
ÒI didnÕt mean
that like it sounded. IÕm not going toÉtoÉÓ
ÒYouÕre not
going to shag that big git just to protect me,Ó he growled out around his
coughs. ÒIÕll let him kill me
first.Ó
ÒHe almost
did,Ó she reminded him, pushing him back down and lightly resting her hand on
his shoulder. ÒBut thatÕs not what
I meant. I just meant that if I
hadnÕt turned him down and told him I was still too sore, he never would have
known that I saw you and he wouldnÕt have had anything to get all jealous and
insecure about.Ó
ÒWhy didnÕt
you, then? I know you werenÕt too sore by last night.Ó His eyes were full of
something that looked uncomfortably like hope.
ÒI didnÕt want
to,Ó she responded shortly. ÒAnd
thatÕs all you need to know. This is my business. Mine and RileyÕs. Not yours.Ó
ÒBuffyÉÓ
ÒNo. WeÕre not
discussing this. I told you. You need to stop thinking about it. It was just
one of thoseÉit was just a...thing.
AÉaÉmoment of weakness brought on by too much sun. ThatÕs it. I got too much sun and it affected my brain. But IÕm all
better now,Ó she finished cheerily, refusing to look at him.
ÒIÕm not,Ó he
said flatly. ÒNot sure I ever will
be.Ó
ÒSure you
will.Ó She deliberately chose to misunderstand. ÒBy this time tomorrow, youÕll be way better. IÕll get you some of the good stuff
from WillyÕs tomorrow and you—Ó
ÒNot what I
meant and you know it, Slayer.Ó
Already his voice was stronger and he was no longer coughing with every
intake of air.
ÒWhy are you
making this so hard?Ó she moaned, sliding onto the floor and banging her head
against the couch with a plaintive,
ÒCanÕt we just forget about it?Ó
ÒIs that really
what you want to do, love?Ó He
brought one hand across to stroke her head awkwardly. ÒDo you really want to forget it? Was it that bad?Ó
Buffy turned
her head and took an annoyed bite of his shoulder, getting a moan instead of
the expected wince. Before she
could say anything, he purred, ÒLittle word of advice, pet. If you want to
punish a vampire? Biting him probably isnÕt the best way to do it.Ó When she just huffed and sat up, he
continued, ÒIs that your answer?Ó
ÒIt might be,Ó
she grumbled.
When there was
no reply, she dropped her head back onto the couch cushion. Once again, his hand began to stroke
her head and she allowed herself several minutes to just enjoy the soothing
motion.
ÒIt wasnÕt
bad,Ó she mumbled finally, keeping her face carefully buried in the front of
the couch. ÒIf I thought it was
bad, this would be a lot easier.Ó
ÒWhat would be
easier?Ó
ÒTelling you
itÕs never going to happen again.Ó
The hand
stopped, then started up again, more slowly this time.
ÒNever Ôs a
long time, Buffy,Ó he said without inflection.
ÒSpike, IÕm
notÉI donÕt Éand if he found outÉIÕm trying to protect you, you stupid
vampire!Ó
ÒDonÕt want
protection; want you.Ó
ÒShut up.Ó
ÒMake me,Ó he
whispered, tugging on her chin until she rose to her knees and looked him in
the eye for the first time since theyÕd locked glances in the cemetery.
Buffy
whimpered, staring back at him, her mouth only a few inches from his swollen
lips. SpikeÕs hand on the back of her neck tried to pull her closer, but she
shook her head and sat back on her heels.
ÒYouÕre not
going to let this be easy, are you?Ó
ÒNot even gonna
try to make it easy, pet. If you want me out of your life, youÕre
gonna have to stake me.Ó
ÒI donÕt want
you out of my life – and I cannot believe I just said that—Ó She
shook her head again and sighed.
ÒYes, I can. I donÕt want
you out of my life. And not just because I need you for help sometimes. IÉmy
mom likes you, and Dawn has a stupid crush on you, andÉsometimesÉ I like you.Ó
ÒI like you,
too, luv. But not sure I can do
the back-up muscle, undead hanger-on thing if thatÕs what youÕre saying you
want. Not now. Now that I know how it feels to have you—Ó
ÒYou have to!Ó she exploded at him. ÒI canÕt keep lying to Riley about
you.Ó
ÒSoÉÓ He kept
his voice deliberately light, but she had no trouble hearing the underlying
anger and pain. ÒThis little bit of payback wasnÕt a deal-breaker for you, eh,
Slayer? WhatÕs the plan, then? A bit of yelling, couple of days with
no shagging and then all is well in paradise?Ó
She stared at
him, accepting the justified sense of betrayal that she could plainly read on
his face and in his eyes. She
allowed her own sorrow and regret to show for a minute, then turned away. Without saying anything, she picked up
the mug and carried it to the kitchen, washing it out carefully before putting
it on the side to drain. She
remained standing at the sink, lost in thoughts of the close-to-normal life she
could have with Riley, versus the risks of getting into a relationship with
another vampire. A noise from the
living room brought her head around and she rushed back to find Spike
struggling to stand up.
ÒYou idiot!Ó
she snapped, catching him just before he collapsed. Her sudden grab to keep him from falling pulled on his ribs
and he fell against her with a moan.
ÒOh god, IÕm
sorry! I didnÕt mean to grab you
there. Did they move?Ó
Holding him up
with one arm, she frantically felt along his taped sides. Spike shook his head,
taking shallow panting breaths that made it obvious how painful it still was to
breathe and speak.
ÒDonÕt talk,Ó
she ordered, helping him lower himself to the couch. ÒI donÕt know what you
were thinking, trying to get up like that. YouÕd think you—Ó
ÒWas thinking
IÕd get out of your hair before your boytoy shows up and jumps to any more
conclusions that might result in my dusty demise.Ó His voice came out in gasps and whispers; he refused to stop
trying to speak, in spite of BuffyÕs frantic shushing motions. ÒOr does anything else that might
interfere with your little delusion that you could ever be content with a
normal human.Ó
Eyes wide,
Buffy stared at him.
ÒWhat else
would I be content with?Ó
ÒDo you think itÕs a coincidence that
your first boyfriend was a vampire, Slayer?
Or that you let another vampire make love to you while you were supposed to
belong to a human man?Ó
ÒWhat are you
saying?Ó she whispered, shaking her head ÔnoÕ even as he continued his painful
speech.
ÒIÕm saying, Buffy,
that youÕre not an ordinary girl.
Human, yeah, but more than.
WhateverÕs in you, gives you all that power and killing instinct, itÕs
not meant for mere mortals. Takes
somebody who can match you. Meet
you on your own level. Somebody
who appreciates what you are and loves you for
itÉnot in spite of it.Ó
Her head
whirling, Buffy tried to deny what he was saying – telling herself it was
just a coincidence that Angel had been a vampire; that Riley had been a
physically enhanced demon-killing commando when she met him; that Spike had
always appealed to her on a very basic level – even when heÕd been trying
to kill her. His voice had trailed
off, leaving just the sounds of his occasional shallow panting, while Buffy
tried to analyze what heÕd said.
Wait! Had he
just said he loved her? She raised
her eyes, but his were shut, his lips pressed together tightly as he fought off
the waves of pain from his already knitting bones. She shrugged and got to her feet, walking to the kitchen in
a stupor and getting out a package of frozen peas. Still lost in thought, she returned to the couch and
carefully slid the peas under his back, feeling around with her fingers until
she found the spot where RileyÕs foot had left the huge bruise and damaged
muscle.
SpikeÕs eyes
remained shut and he didnÕt speak again while she took off his boots and lifted
his legs onto the couch. She
covered him with a throw and carefully checked the drapes to be sure that the
morning sun would not catch him with its rays. At a loss for what else she could do to make him more
comfortable, she trailed her fingers across the top of his head and whispered,
ÒGood night, Spike.Ó
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She rose early
the next morning, joining her mother in the kitchen after checking to see that
Spike was still on the couch and bearing an uncomfortable resemblance to the
corpse that she had to keep reminding herself he actually was. SheÕd fiddled with the drapes for a
second, but when he didnÕt stir, she went into the kitchen and poured herself
some coffee.
ÒHowÕs the
patient?Ó Joyce asked.
Buffy shrugged.
ÒI donÕt know, heÕs still asleep, I guess. IÕll warm up some blood for him before I go to class. Are you going in again today?Ó
ÒYes, of course
I am. The doctors assured me that
IÕm fine now, and IÕm stronger every day. No excuses not to go to work.Ó
ÒJust take it
easy, okay? One patient at a time
is all Nurse Buffy can handle.Ó
Joyce smiled
fondly at her oldest daughter.
ÒIÕll be
careful, honey. IÕm already
planning to have a nap in my office if I get tired during the day. But I really canÕt run a business from
my bedroom. I need to be there.Ó
ÒI know. ItÕs
okay. I just worry about you.Ó
ÒWelcome to my
world,Ó Joyce said with a wry smile as she stood up and carried her plate to
the sink. ÒOne daughterÕs the
Slayer, and the other isÉGood morning, Dawn.Ó
ÒWhy is Spike
on the couch? And why does his face look like dogfood?Ó
ÒEwwww, Dawn!Ó
ÒSpike was
injured last night,Ó Joyce said while Buffy made faces about her sisterÕs
description of SpikeÕs battered face.
ÒBuffy and Xander brought him back here for a little nursing care before
he goes back to his crypt.Ó
She looked at
Buffy for verification that she would not want Dawn to know who had done the
damage to the youngest SummersÕ favorite vampire. Buffy nodded her thanks and went to get the last of the
blood out of the refrigerator.
ÒShould I get
more of that on my way home?Ó Joyce asked.
Buffy bit her
lip, then nodded. ÒI guess
so. Even if he goes home tonight,
itÕs good to have some here when we need it.Ó
As they waited
for the microwave to ding, Dawn went through the motions of getting her cereal
out. She finally could stand it no
longer.
ÒSo, what was
it? Was it Glory? One of her
scabby minions? What did that to him, and did you slay it?Ó
ÒIÕm handling
it,Ó Buffy responded noncommittally, pouring the blood into SpikeÕs mug and
finding a new straw. She didnÕt
respond to DawnÕs indignant, ÒYouÕre handling
it?Óbut carried the mug of warm blood into the living room where she found
Spike peering at her through barely open eyes.
ÒHi,Ó she said
softly. ÒHow do you feel this
morning?Ó
ÒBit better,Ó
he responded, wincing as he sat up under his own power. He shifted into game face involuntarily
as the scent of warm blood filled his nostrils. ÒThat for me?Ó
ÒI can't think
of anybody else in this house with such disgusting eating habits,Ó Buffy said,
handing him the mug.
ÒIs that any
way to talk to your patient?Ó
When she didnÕt
respond, he took the straw between his lips and licked it off, then titled the
mug up and gulped down the blood without pausing. Buffy watched him with
interest, her head tilted to one side.
ÒIÕll bet you
win a lot of chugalug contests –with the whole no need to breathe thing
going for you.Ó
ÒBeen know to
make a bit of dosh like that,Ó he agreed with a smile. He licked his lips and
leered at her. ÒThere are other
things I can do better than most – what with not needing to breathe while
I—Ó
ÒDawn!Ó Buffy
interrupted as her sister came into the room. ÒLook, Spike, DawnÕs coming to see how you feel. Look, Dawn,
Spike's awake and feeling better.Ó
ÒYou look like
crap,Ó Dawn said bluntly, giving her sister a suspicious frown. ÒWhat happened to you?Ó
He gave Buffy a
glance and when he saw the silent plea in her eyes, he sighed in resignation.
ÒNot really
sure, Nibblet. Guess I was knocked
out. Just a good thing for me that
your sis and Harris came along.Ó
ÒYou are such a
lousy liar,Ó Dawn said, rolling her eyes.
ÒBut I have to get to school. IÕll worm it out of you later.Ó
She flounced
upstairs, leaving Buffy and Spike to enjoy an uncomfortable silence.
ÒI tried, pet.Ó
ÒI know. ItÕs
not your fault youÕre such a lousy liar.
YouÕd think somebody who spent his life being evil would be better at
it.Ó
ÒYouÕd think
someone who is HeavenÕs Chosen One wouldnÕt have to do so much of it,Ó he
retaliated.
ÒI donÕt want
her to know that Riley did this.
At least not right now.Ó She gave him a small smile. ÒThanks for lying
for me.Ó
ÒAny time, Slayer.Ó
There was
another uncomfortable silence while Buffy remembered his words from the night
before and Spike waited for some sign from her that he should leave. Fortunately, Dawn came clattering back
downstairs, grabbed her books and ran out the door with a ÒSee you guys laterÓ.
Buffy went back
to the kitchen to hover until Joyce sternly ordered her to go back into the
living room and Òtake care of the injured personÓ. Reminding Buffy that the doctors had told her she was
completely well, Joyce picked up her purse and keys, letting herself out the
back door with a wave. Buffy
watched out the window as her mother got in the big SUV and backed it out of
the driveway.
As soon as she could no longer see the
car, she began to put the morning dishes in the dishwasher. She puttered around the kitchen,
cleaning surfaces that she normally didnÕt even notice, even sweeping the floor
with a broom. It wasn't until she was
reaching for the mop that she admitted to herself she was just avoiding Spike
and the questions he was raising in her mind. With a sigh, she put the cleaning tools away and poured
herself a cup of coffee to take into the other room with her.
Chapter
Five (5/9)
Buffy sank into
the chair next to the couch, sipping her coffee and frowning into the cup. After a few deep swallows, she leaned
her head back on the chair and kicked her fuzzy slippers off so as to curl her
feet under her.
ÒTired, love?Ó
ÒA little. IÕd go back to bed but IÕve got a class
later this morning and I probably should try to actually show up for it.Ó
ÒYou know, when
I was a lad, not showing up for lessons could get you a good caning.Ó
She rolled her
head towards him.
ÒBet you got a
lot of those, huh?Ó
His expression
darkened a bit. ÒGot my share,Ó he
said tersely, then changed the subject.
ÒThink you could get this tape off me, pet? The ribs are knitting and itÕs starting to itch.Ó
She eyed him
dubiously. ÒAre you sure? WouldnÕt it be better to keep them wrapped?Ó
He shook his
head. ÒYou got them back into place. All I need to do is not fall on a rock or
something and theyÕll be fine by tonight.Ó
ÒOkay. Stand up, then.Ó She let him steady himself on her
shoulder until he was on his feet and not swaying, then she reached for the end
of the tape.
ÒHow do you want
it?Ó
ÒAny way you
want to give it to me.Ó
She flushed,
saying sternly, ÒDo you want me to
pull it off fast and hard, or slow and steady?Ó
ÒHmmmmm. Do I
want it fast and hard, or slow and steadyÉmight need to think about that for a
while. They both have some appeal.
What about you, Slayer? Which would you prefer?Ó
Instead of
answering him, she took the end of the tape and pulled it hard, smiling
innocently at his pained hiss. As
soon as she had the tape free of his skin, pulling hard lost its appeal as the
gauze padding protected him from her vengeful tugging. She unwound it as quickly and steadily
as she could, pausing when she reached the top and realized it was once again
sticking to skin.
ÒJust do it,
pet,Ó he said when she hesitated.
Buffy glanced up
at him, then, tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, she began to
pull, slowly and carefully. Spike
remained stoically silent as she peeled off the last layer of tape and dropped
the sticky mess into a wastebasket.
She cast a critical eye over his pale torso, pleased to see that the
only sign of the jagged rib edges were the already closed wounds and some
bruising. She ran her hands over
them, searching for any sign of unhealed pieces or improperly healed bones.
As she felt around
his chest and back, her touch became less businesslike and more tender, her
hands lingering on his skin and stroking it softly. It wasnÕt until she heard him purring that she realized what
she was doing and dropped her hand quickly.
ÒIÕm sorry,Ó she
mumbled.
ÒFor what? I was enjoying that.Ó
ÒI know you
were; but I didnÕt mean to sendÉto make youÉtoÉÓ
ÒÉto write
checks you arenÕt willing to cash?Ó
She
snorted. ÒI guess thatÕs as good
an explanation as any.Ó
He tipped her
chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.
ÒBuffy, donÕt ever apologize for touching me. I didnÕt take it for more than it was, and even if I had,
wouldnÕt object when you set me straight.Ó
ÒOkay, this is
just getting too weird. WhereÕs
the disgusting piggy vampire I know and lo—I know so well?Ó
She looked away
and busied herself rechecking the ribs she already knew were aligned and only
slightly painful. She stiffened
when Spike slid his hands around her in a loose embrace.
ÒHeÕs not far,
love. You can believe that. All IÕm saying is, I donÕt want you to be afraid to
be near me - or to touch me if you want to - just because you know IÕll always
be wanting more.Ó
Buffy raised her
head and glanced at him apprehensively.
ÒReally?Ó
ÒReally. Do you think I didnÕt notice your little
slip there? I know that ÔÉknow and
loveÉÕ is just an expression. IÕm not stupid, Slayer. YouÕd never love a
monster. I just donÕt want you
beinÕ afraid to relax around me because you think I might take advantage of
it.Ó
ÒBut youÉweÉÓ
ÒBut I already
did.Ó He nodded. ÒAnd IÕm not
going to apologize for it. It was
a bloody revelationÉand something IÕll never regret. The big git could beat me up every night if it meant IÕd get—Ó
ÒSpikeÉÓ
ÒRight. Off
topic. Alright, I did take
advantage of youÉonce. But that
was beforeÉÓ He shook his head in frustration and started over, his arms
unconsciously tightening around her just a bit. ÒWould never do anything to hurt you, Buffy. WouldnÕt try to
take what you didnÕt want to give.Ó
ÒOh, okay then.Ó
She tried to tell herself she wasnÕt as disappointed as she knew she sounded,
even as her body softened into his embrace. His cool breath on her ear sent a shiver down her
spine while other parts of her body reacted to memories of what he could do
with that breath.
ÒDoesnÕt mean
IÕm giving up, love,Ó he murmured while he ran his lips down her neck. ÒIÕm not going to push you, but IÕm not
going away, either. IÕll be here
when you change your mind.Ó
ÒWhat makes you
think—Ó The lips that had been on her neck were suddenly on her mouth and
she reacted immediately, falling into another kiss that seemed to go on forever
and to reach all the way down to her toes. She wondered briefly if toes really did curl when you got
turned on, but resisted the urge to break the kiss long enough to look down at
her bare feet.
Before she could
forget her determination not to repeat the events of a few nights ago, and
before Spike could act on his obvious inability to give her the space heÕd just
promised, the phone sent them jumping apart.
While Spike
looked embarrassed at having been startled by something so mundane as a ringing
telephone, Buffy stared at it with mingled gratitude and dismay. Moving
quickly, before Spike could reach for her again, she grabbed the receiver and
blurted ÒHello?Ó While she waited for a reply, she pushed her feet back into
her slippers and straightened her flannel pajama top.
Her motherÕs
worried voice came over the wire and at her first words, Buffy held the phone
out so that Spike could hear.
ÒBuffy? Are you
listening? Is Spike still there?Ó
ÒYes, Mom. IÕm
listening. WeÕre listening. You said Riley came by the gallery
already this morning?Ó
ÒYes. He was waiting here when I arrived. He
was quite agitated and kept insisting that I must tell him where Spike was.Ó
ÒWhat did you
say?Ó Buffy tried to shush SpikeÕs growls as she waited for an answer.
ÒI was pretty
curt with him, IÕm afraid. I told
him I was terribly disappointed in what heÕd done to Spike and that he would
not be welcome in our home anymore.Ó
ÒGo, Mom!Ó BuffyÕs voice was echoed by SpikeÕs
quiet ÒThank you, Joyce.Ó
ÒYouÕre welcome,
Spike. The thing is, he probably
figured out that the only way I would know what heÕd done was if IÕd seen you,
so I think heÕs probably on his way there now.Ó
ÒOkay, Mom.
Thanks for the heads-up. WeÕll
take care of it.Ó
ÒBuffy, please
donÕt forget that Spike cannot defend himself. HeÕs helpless against Riley.Ó
ÒI said ÔweÕ,
Mom. ThereÕs no chip in my head.Ó
ÒAll right,
honey. Just so you donÕt leave
them alone together.Ó
ÒI wasnÕt
planning to. But I might put Spike
in the basement for a few days, if thatÕs all right with you?Ó
ÒOf course.
ThatÕs fine. I think thereÕs an
old camp cot down there somewhere and you know where the clean sheets
are.Ó JoyceÕs voice
hesitated. ÒBut thereÕs nothing to
keep Riley out of the house, is there? ItÕs not like heÕs a vampire and we can—Ó
ÒIÕm going to
reason with him. IÕm pretty sure,
by the time IÕm done, heÕll understand that he isnÕt welcome here – and
that itÕs not in his best interest to come around. If I have to, IÕll call the
police.Ó
ÒAll right,
honey. If you're sure. Tell Spike I should be home around six.Ó
ÒOkay.Ó Buffy
paused, then softly, ÒThanks, Mom.Ó
ÒI like Spike
almost as much as you do,Ó her mother said, with a smile in her voice. ÒIÕm not planning to let anything
happen to him.Ó
ÒNeither am I,Ó
Buffy replied, a trace of steel in her still soft voice. ÒSee you later.Ó
She hung up and
turned to face Spike who had moved away and was watching her with an
inscrutable look on his face. They
faced each other, neither willing to make the first move. Finally, Buffy sighed and moved towards
the kitchen.
ÒSo much for
going to class today,Ó she said with another sigh. ÒLetÕs go downstairs and see what we can do about fixing it
up for you.Ó
She had already
opened the basement door and was partway down the stairs before she realized
that he wasnÕt behind her. She
turned around and went back to the top stair, peering around the corner for
him.
ÒSpike? Where
are you?Ó
When he didnÕt
answer, she retraced her steps to find him sitting on the couch, his arms
crossed and a stubborn pout on his face.
ÒWhat?Ó
ÒIÕm not hiding
behind the skirts of a couple of women,Ó he growled. When Buffy drew herself up and opened her mouth, he added
quickly, ÒEven if one of them is the Slayer.Ó
ÒSpike.Ó Buffy
rolled her eyes to Heaven in a silent plea for patience. ÒMom is right, you canÕt defend
yourself.Ó She pointed to the wad
of tape and gauze in the wastebasket.
ÒYouÕre not hiding behind my skirts, youÕre just Éjust making a
strategic decision to lay low.Ó
ÒHa, bloody, ha,
Slayer. YouÕre asking me to hide
in your motherÕs basement while you guard the door. What does that sound like to you?Ó
ÒLike the smart
thing to do? Oh, wait. I forgot
who I was talking to. Of course
you think itÕs a bad idea. Because
it makes sense, and heaven forbid you should do the sensible thing!Ó
They glared at
each other for a long minute, startled out of what looked like it could be a
lengthy standoff by a knock on the front door. BuffyÕs eyes flew to the door, then back to the vampire.
ÒGet your ass
down those stairs or IÕll throw you down and retape your ribs later,Ó she
hissed, yanking him to his feet and ignoring his pained yelp. She waited until heÕd disappeared into
the kitchen and she heard the basement door close before walking to the door
where Riley was still knocking vigorously. She pulled it open and stood, arms folded, blocking the
entrance.
ÒWhat do you
want, Riley? I told you I didnÕt want to see you for a while.Ó
ÒI just wanted
to be sure that Spike wasnÕt playing on your motherÕs lack of common sense to
hide here,Ó he mumbled.
Coming to the
SummersÕ home so early in the morning was beginning to seem like less of a good
idea as, in spite of her pajamas and fuzzy slippers, he came face to face with
the Slayer he had once watched take out his whole team of crack
commandoes. BuffyÕs fuzz-clad toe
was tapping impatiently.
ÒWhy would you
think Spike was here?Ó
ÒHeÕs not in his
crypt,Ó Riley said before heÕd thought it through, ÒAnd your mother was
obviously trying to hide something from me this morning.Ó
ÒYouÕve been to
SpikeÕs crypt? And youÕve talked to my mother already this morning? What the hell, Riley?Ó
ÒWell,Ó he said
stiffly, ÒyouÕre clearly not in your right mind when it comes to that vampire,
and I donÕt know what XanderÕs problem is, but someone has to try to fix this
situation.Ó
ÒWhat situation
would that be?Ó she asked with deceptive calmness. ÒThe one that has you thinking that the SlayerÕs job to
protect innocent victims ends with the ones that have heartbeats and human
faces?Ó
She thought
about SpikeÕs poker buddy, Clem and his relatively harmless friends, and
shuddered to remember how many of them had been picked up by the Initiative and
then discarded as worthless when experiments showed them to be less than useful
as weapons.
ÒI didnÕt think
youÕd be so interested in protecting this vampire once you knew he had the hots
for you,Ó Riley sneered. ÒOr,
maybe thatÕs why youÕre so willing to
take his side against me. Is that
it? Your first vampire boyfriend wasnÕt a big enough mistake, you want to try
it again?Ó
ÒThatÕs enough,
Riley,Ó she said through clenched teeth.
Her hands were balled into fists at her side. ÒThis has nothing to do with Angel, or vampires, or how
Spike does or does not feel about me.
ItÕs about fairness and the way youÕre letting your insecurity about
losing your enhancements affect your thinking.Ó
When he gaped at
her, she smirked and said, ÒDid you think I didnÕt pay any attention in class
last year? I know stuff.Ó She let
that sink in, then added, ÒThis vendetta youÕve got against Spike has got to
stop. IÕm not going to let you
dust him, and IÕm not going to let you use him as a punching bag to make
yourself feel superior.Ó
While Riley
continued to stare at the pajama-clad girl blocking his entrance to the house,
she added, ÒAnd you stay away from my mother and her home, or IÕll put you in a
hospital. Is that clear?Ó
ÒThatÕs the same
thing you said to me last year when I was going to shoot your vampire ex. Kind of a theme with you, isnÕt it?Ó
ÒWeÕre talking
about my mother, here, Riley. You know, the one who was hospitalized
recently? If I find out youÕve so
much as made her nervous, IÕll kill you.
HowÕs that for a new theme?Ó
She stared at him coldly, her threat all the more chilling for the
complete calmness with which she uttered it.
He nodded. ÒIt
figures that someone who calls herself ÔThe SlayerÕ would eventually get around to promising to kill
me. ItÕs nice to know where I
stand in your life.Ó
ÒYou think you
should come before my mother?Ó
ÒThatÕs just a
smokescreen. DonÕt think I canÕt see through it. This is all about Hostile Seventeen and the way he
manipulates you and your family.Ó
ÒNo, Riley,Ó she
said with surprising gentleness.
ÒIt isnÕt about that. ItÕs about you and your unwillingness to give up
the InitiativeÕs black and white view of the sentient beings they tortured and
killed, your anger at Spike for getting away and remaining undusty, and your
anger at the world for taking away the physical enhancements that were killing
you. IÕm sorry that being normal
has caused you such pain. YouÕre a
good-looking, very bright and athletic guy. I wish you could see that and stop obsessing over what you
arenÕt anymore.Ó
ÒWhat IÕm not
anymore, is willing to play second-fiddle to a vampire that you, yourself, told
me youÕd be dating if you wanted someone with superpowers. Admit it, Buffy. You
have a thing for vampires.Ó
Buffy flashed
back to SpikeÕs speech the night before and took a deep breath.
ÒMaybe I do,Ó
she admitted slowly, more to herself than to him as her thoughts churned. ÒI
donÕt know what it is that gives me my Slayer powers. A slayerÕs whole short
life is spent fighting evil – all kinds of evil, so I donÕt think itÕs a
demon. But, maybe thereÕs a good
version of a demon inside me that gives me powers, just like a vamp gets when
heÕs been turned. Maybe whatÕs
inside me can see the person inside the demon and respond to that.Ó
They stared at
each other, Buffy shocked at what sheÕd just revealed, Riley nodding as though
heÕd just been vindicated.
ÒYou know,
Buffy, there are places where humans can go to get bitten by vamps. Maybe I
should check them out and see what the appeal isÉ Or maybe I should just get
myself turned. Would that do it
for you?Ó
ÒRileyÉÓ She
stopped, unable to respond to his threat at first. ÒPlease donÕt think that. DonÕt even say it as a joke. You know if you got turned, IÕd have to
stake you.Ó
ÒDoubt it,Ó he
said cheerfully. ÒThen IÕd be just
like them. YouÕd be throwing
yourself at me every night if I was a vampire.Ó
ÒRiley, this is
not funny. Getting turned isnÕt
something to joke about. It
happens in this town. All the time.
You have no idea how often IÕve had to stake somebody I went to high
school with, or who used to be a good friend. It hurts. But I do it.Ó
ÒAnd yet, Angel
is living it up in LA, and IÕll bet you Spike is hiding somewhere in this
house.Ó
Buffy stared at
him, her eyes filled with fear that was gradually replaced by chilly resolve.
ÒI sent Angel to
hell on the point of a sword, Riley.
I was only seventeen, and it broke my heart, but I did it. Those Powers
that you donÕt believe in brought him back. I thought IÕd killed him.Ó
Riley
blinked. ÒReally? You did? I didnÕt know that.Ó
ÒThereÕs a lot
you donÕt know about me,Ó she said with a sigh. ÒAnd probably never will.Ó
ÒThat sounds
like a brush-off.Ó
ÒItÕs just
stating a fact,Ó she said with a sad little smile. ÒWeÕre not working out; you and me. IÕm not sure whatÕs gone wrong, but I
have a skanky new big bad who can kick my butt, a mother recovering from brain
surgery, a kid sister who--Ó She stopped, suddenly remembering that for
whatever reason, she hadnÕt yet told Riley about DawnÕs Keyness. She was quietly grateful for that as he
repeated his threat to become a vampire and return to claim his rightful place
at her side.
ÒDonÕt think
that, Riley,Ó she urged. ÒNo
matter how you feel about me, or how angry you are that we arenÕt together,
please donÕt go out and get yourself turned into something I will have to
slay. IÕm sorry I canÕt be what
you want me to be – but turning yourself into a vamp isnÕt the answer.
IÕm begging youÉÓ
ÒSave it,Ó he
said, spinning around and heading down the driveway.
Buffy
waited until heÕd pulled out of the driveway and been out of sight for several
minutes before she closed the door and carefully locked it. On her way to the basement, she also
checked the rarely-ever locked kitchen door, smiling when she saw that her
mother had obviously already had that thought. A sound from the basement brought her attention back to the
vampire sheÕd ordered down there and she mentally prepared herself for an
argument with another stubborn man.
She walked down the stairs, halting close to the
bottom when she saw Spike standing there to meet her.
ÒYou heard?Ó she asked unnecessarily. He nodded and ran his knuckles down her
cheek.
ÒIÕm sorry, pet,Ó he said as sincerely as he could.
She shrugged and leaned into his hand briefly.
ÒAh, itÕs just BuffyÕs normal love life. Easy come,
easy go. ItÕs like I would have
told him if heÕd let me finish, I just donÕt have time for a lot of
relationship crap right now. IÕve got too much else to worry about.Ó
ÒDonÕt have to worry about it by yourself,Ó he said
quietly. ÒYou could share the
burden. Not just with me,Ó he
hastened to add when she started to protest. ÒYouÕve got your watcher, your friends, people who care
about you.Ó
ÒThe Slayer is alone, Spike. ThatÕs how it always
is.Ó She automatically parroted what Merrick had told her so long ago.
ÒNot you,Ó he disagreed firmly. ÒYouÕve got family,
friends, itÕs what makes you so strong and special. Those ties are whatÕs
keeping you in this world. Use
them. Let them help you. Let us help you, Buffy. Let me help.Ó
ÒYou could start helping by staying undusty –
even if that means you have to hide in the basement for awhile.Ó
ÒI heard him, you know. He knows IÕm here.Ó
ÒHe thinks
he knows youÕre here. He doesnÕt
really know it. And if he tries to
come in, heÕs going to find out just how much I was holding back when we
sparred last year.Ó
ÒYou canÕt stay here all the time just to protect me,
Slayer. 's not right. YouÕve got
classes to go to and friends to see.
IÕll find some place to hunker down for a while until the enormous hall
monitor stops worrying about me.Ó
Buffy eyed him dubiously.
ÒWhere would you go?Ó
ÒGot a bit of dosh left from my last poker game. IÕll just get a room in a motel or
something. Somewhere heÕs not
likely to see me – on the demon side of town.Ó
The reminder that there was a part of Sunnydale in
which enough harmless demons lived that it actually had a name, reminded Buffy
of RileyÕs threat. She stared at Spike speculatively.
ÒDo you know of any places where people go to get
sucked on? Where somebody could
get turned if he wanted to?Ó
Spike looked uncomfortable for a minute, then shrugged.
ÒYeah, Slayer. I know of them. Full of vamps too lazy or cowardly to
hunt for themselves. Whores, most of them.Ó
ÒWhy didnÕt you do that when you first got
chipped? Instead of starving until
you had to come to me for help?Ó
ÒNot a whore,Ó he said shortly. ÒIÕm a lot of things
– most of them evil –
but I have some pride.Ó
ÒPeople pay
for it? WhatÕs wrong with
them?Ó She shuddered and wrapped
her arms around herself. ÒI canÕt
imagine it.Ó
ÒCan feel right good, luv. Done right by somebody who
knows what sheÕs doing it can be bloody addictive for some blokes. Even some
womenÉwant to live out their Drac fantasies or something. Ó
ÒNot helping the ooky image, Spike.Ó
ÒSorry, luv, but itÕs the truth. People donÕt always
have to pay for itÉunless theyÕre getting something a little extra with the
bite. ItÕs an even exchange
– the vamp gets the blood and the human getsÉwhatever he or she is there
to get. It doesnÕt hurt much.Ó
ÒIÕve been bitten. It hurts like hell!Ó she insisted.
His face darkened at the reminder of who had put the
marks on her neck.
ÒThose wankers werenÕt trying to give you pleasure.
Old Batface was trying to kill you, and the poof was too busy trying to save
himself to give any thought to you. If IÉÓ He stopped and started again. ÒIt can be done so that it doesnÕt
hurt. Trust me on this.Ó
BuffyÕs automatic disagreement never left her mouth
as she remembered that sheÕd slept right through DraculaÕs first bite.
ÒSo, Riley could go out and get himself bitten
without being killed?Ó
ÒHe could.Ó
ÒWonderful. Now I have to worry that heÕs letting
some vamp ho munch on him. Like I donÕt have enough drama in my life now.Ó
She looked around the dark room, searching for the
old cot she knew was folded up somewhere.
She spotted it and walked to the shelf, tugging on it unsuccessfully
until a pale hand reached over her shoulder and halted her efforts.
ÒLeave it, pet.
Like you just said, youÕve got enough drama in your life. IÕll be fine by the time it gets dark
and IÕll get out of your mumÕs house soonÕs I can.Ó
Buffy sighed. ÒI donÕt want to keep having this
argument, Spike. I can keep you
safe here. Out there, anything could happen to you.Ó
He studied her exasperated face for a minute, then
stepped even closer, trapping her between the shelves and his body.
ÒJust answer me one question, Slayer. Why are you suddenly so worried about
me? Are you afraid to lose your
back-up muscle? Or is there some
other reason why my well-being is so important?Ó
His face was carefully blank, only the wary hope in
his eyes giving any indication of how important her answer would be. Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and shook
her head.
ÒDonÕt do this, Spike. Not now. I meant it when I said I didnÕt have
time for relationship stuff. I
need to knowÉI need to know that I can count on you for backup when I need
it. To know that you can help me
protect Dawn and my mom. DonÕt
complicate it. Please,Ó she added
softly, touching his cheek lightly before ducking under his arm and moving
away.
She ignored the soft growl from behind her, moving
towards the stairs. Without
turning around she said, ÒYou have to stay here until dark anyway, whether IÕm
here to protect you or not. You might as well pull that thing out and get some
more rest. IÕll bring you another
mug of blood before I leave for class.Ó
After a quick shower and change of clothes, Buffy
gathered her things for school and set them by the front door. She was just warming SpikeÕs blood when
the basement door opened and he peered into the sunny kitchen. Moving cautiously around the rays of
sunlight, he edged his way towards the safely shaded hallway.
ÒWhere are you going?Ó
ÒItÕs boring down there. I want to watch the telly,Ó
he pouted.
Buffy didnÕt answer, just handed him his mug of
warmed blood and walked past him.
She picked up her things and watched him settle in on the couch.
ÒDonÕt get blood on the furniture,Ó she said,
finally.
ÒWouldnÕt do that to your mum,Ó he said between sips
of blood. ÒGo on, Slayer. Go get
an education. IÕll be fine.Ó
Buffy lingered a minute longer, then opened the
door. As it swung shut behind her,
she heard his soft, ÒDonÕt waste time worrying about me.Ó
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After class, where she was pleased to find that she
was not as behind as she had expected, she assured the professor that her
mother was now fine and that she would be a more regular student from now
on. Her mentally crossed fingers
were invisible as she smiled brightly and tried to put Glory and her search for
the key out of her mind.
Lunch with Willow and Tara was short, although she
did fill them in quickly on the change in RileyÕs status.
ÒIÕm sorry, Buffy,Ó Willow said loyally. ÒMen are such poopheads.Ó
Tara seemed as concerned about Spike as she was about
BuffyÕs lack of a man in her life.
ÒIs he going to be all right?Ó she asked softly.
Buffy blinked her surprise, then smiled. So, someone else besides her mom and
Dawn liked Spike.
ÒHeÕll be okay.
Vampires heal really fast if they get enough blood and rest. Which
reminds me, I have to stop by the butcher on the way home. I think weÕre out of
the stuff Mom was keeping around for him.Ó
ÒWhat are you doing to do about Riley?Ó Tara
continued her concerned questions, leading Willow to ask with a small smile,
ÒShould I be getting jealous of all this concern for Spike?Ó
ÒOh no!Ó Tara blushed and stammered. ÒNÉno, of course not. ItÕs justÉheÕs
always been nice to me, and now heÕs helping Buffy andÉÓ
While Buffy and Willow giggled at her embarrassment,
Tara let her voice trail off.
ÒYou were kidding me, werenÕt you?Ó she said,
blushing again.
ÒWe were. But only because you are so adorable,Ó
Willow said, kissing TaraÕs cheek.
ÒI know you wouldnÕt be interested in Spike – even if you did like
men.Ó
Tara cocked her head at Willow.
ÒWhy wouldnÕt I? Not that I am,Ó she hastened to add, Òbut, heÕs sweet and
good looking and super strong; and, okay, the drinking blood thing is kind of a
turn-off, butÉÓ
Buffy and Willow exchanged looks.
ÒOkay, IÕll give you the super-strong, and the
good-looking,Ó Buffy ignored Willow's surprised twitch. ÒBut, sweet? How would you know he can be swee— I mean, why would you think that?Ó
ÒI think itÕs pretty obvious,Ó Tara said
seriously. ÒI mean, IÕm sure I
donÕt get to see it as often you do, but—Ò
ÒWhy would Buffy get to see it?Ó Willow looked back and forth between
Tara and Buffy, wondering what she was missing. The pink color in BuffyÕs face
heightened as Tara continued on.
ÒWell, itÕs so obvious how he feels about her. Of course she would get to see his
sweet side more than we do.Ó She looked at Buffy for confirmation, only to find
her staring back in dismay.
ÒItÕs obvious?Ó she squeaked. ÒHow come I never noticed it
until—how come IÕm just finding out about it?Ó
ÒYouÕve been busy,Ó Tara soothed quickly. ÒIÕm sure youÕve had too much to worry
about recently to notice, but, yes, itÕs been pretty obvious for a while now.Ó
Willow looked thoughtful. ÒNow that you mention it, he has been all with the helpful lately. Watching out for Dawn and
your mother, helping you patrol...
Ohmygod! No wonder Riley wants to kill him!Ó
ÒThanks for that reminder,Ó Buffy groaned, then sat
up straight. ÒOh! I didnÕt tell you the worst of it.Ó She quickly filled them in on RileyÕs threat to get himself
turned or to at least start going to places that he could get bitten. ÒSo, you need to be really careful if
he comes to your apartment. DonÕt
invite him in. Just in case. And
watch out for him at night. Try not to let him get you alone.Ó
ÒDo you really think he might do that? Get turned
just toÉto what? What does he think youÕll do?Ó
Buffy sighed. ÒHe thinks when heÕs turned that heÕs
not going to see me as a snack.
That heÕll still want to be my boyfriend, and that IÕll be more
interested in him if heÕs a vampire.Ó
She shook her head. ÒI
tried to tell him that I stake people I used to know all the time, and that if
I could send Angel to hell, he didnÕt have a chance, but I donÕt think he
believed me. I just hope he gets
over this before he does something really stupid.Ó
ÒHeÕs got that Y chromosome going for him. I think ÔstupidÕ is pretty much a
given,Ó Willow said, leading to understanding nods from the other two women.
Lunch ended with Buffy reminding them again to be
careful for a while, and suggesting they all meet at the Magic Box in the late
afternoon to bring Giles and Xander up to date.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She jogged home after her afternoon classes,
reminding herself once again about how foolish it was that sheÕd never learned
to drive. She turned into her
driveway to see JoyceÕs SUV already there, and fear clenched her heart as she
hurried into the house. She was
grateful to find that her key was needed to open the front door, and even more
grateful to find her mother sitting on the couch with Spike and watching
Passions.
Neither of them did much besides glance up and wave
absently, before going back to paying rapt attention to the activities on the
small screen. Shaking her head,
Buffy went into the kitchen and began putting away the packages of blood that
sheÕd picked up on the way home.
She was just closing the freezer door when she felt Spike come up behind
her.
ÒDo you want some now?Ó she asked, turning around to
find him only inches away.
He grinned at her, and whispered, ÒlÕd love some,
pet, but your mumÕs just in the next roomÉÓ
ÒPig!Ó
ÒOink,Ó he replied happily, reaching around her to
remove one of the containers of blood.
ÒNeed a bit more of this, if you donÕt mind. PigÕs blood doesnÕt quite get the job done like the good
stuff.Ó
As he leaned in to take the package out, his face was
right in front of her chest. His mouth just barely brushed her nipple when he
pulled back, evoking a surprised gasp and a punch to his arm.
ÒOops?Ó
ÒYou did that on purpose!Ó she hissed. ÒDonÕt pretend you didnÕt. I canÕt believe Tara thinks youÕre
sweet!Ó
ÒShe thinks IÕm what?Ó Forgetting to tease Buffy, he indignantly pulled himself
erect. ÒIÕm an evil vampire,Ó he
insisted. ÒThe dozy bint canÕt go around saying things like that about me!Ó
ÒYeah, thatÕs what I told her. I told her you werenÕt
sweet.Ó
ÒThanks, luv, I—What do you mean, thatÕs what
you told her?Ó
Buffy giggled as his expression flashed between
indignation and dismay. She
surprised them both by leaning up to place a quick kiss on his cheek. Before he could react, she moved away
from the refrigerator and out of reach.
ÒSpike, the commercial is over,Ó Joyce called from
the living room.
ÒBe right there,Ó he called back, taking his mug off
the dish drainer.
Buffy took it and the container of pigÕs blood from
him, saying, ÒGo back to your stupid soap opera. IÕll fix this.
And then weÕre going to the Magic Box. I want you there when I tell them
all about Riley.Ó
He nodded and went back to join Joyce in front of the
TV, while Buffy poured out the blood and set it in the microwave. She watched it twirl around, her mind
filled with memories of picnics on the lawn, nights spent patrolling together,
and parties on the campus of Sunnydale University. Memories of a time when she
thought Riley was the one normal man in the world who could accept who she was
and give her something close to a normal life.
And here she was, ÒcookingÓ dinner for another
vampire instead of for a human boyfriend.
She sighed and took the cup out, carrying it carefully into the living
room and handing it to Spike.
Seemingly without intent, her mother moved over so that there was room
for Buffy to sit between them.
With a resigned roll of her eyes, Buffy sat down and tried to figure out
what was happening on the bizarre show that her mother and Spike were so fond
of.
Hours later,
after Buffy had changed clothes and eaten dinner, she waited impatiently for
Spike to put on his boots and coat.
When he finally joined her at the door, Joyce offered to drive them to
the Magic Box, mentioning that the sun wasnÕt quite down yet.
ÒNo thanks,
Mom,Ó she said with a smile. ÒWeÕll be all right. SpikeÕs an expert on running around in the sun like an
idiot.Ó
Lifting his lip
at Buffy in a mostly-real snarl, he addressed himself to Joyce.
ÒIsnÕt it some
kind of law in this bloody country that every teenager has to learn to drive
the minute theyÕre old enough?
WhatÕs wrong with your daughter?Ó
ÒThere is
nothing wrong with me,Ó Buffy huffed.
ÒI just donÕt like mechanical things.
And they donÕt like meÉ.Ó she added in a much softer voice. ÒAnyway, itÕll be dark in a few
minutes. YouÕll be fine.Ó
Still
bickering, they waved good-bye to Joyce and started out the door. At the last
second, Buffy remembered they hadnÕt warned Joyce about Riley, and whirled
around to tell her not to let him in.
When Joyce asked why it would matter as long as Spike wasnÕt there,
Buffy exchanged looks with Spike then said, ÒHeÉitÕs possibleÉÓ
ÒThe stupid git
is thinkinÕ about getting himself turned,Ó Spike growled over BuffyÕs
stammering. ÒDonÕt care how normal
he looks to you, just donÕt invite him in.Ó
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy and Spike
walked in comfortable silence, their powerful strides eating up the distance
between Revello Drive and the Magic Box.
Buffy kept an eye on him, asking eventually, ÒHow do you feel? Do you
want to slow down?Ó
ÒIÕm fine,
Slayer,Ó he said, hiding the smile he couldnÕt control when he heard the
concern in her voice. ÒIÕll stop
by WillyÕs later and get some O Neg. Between that and another good rest, I
should be back to my old obnoxious self by tomorrow.Ó
ÒBack to your
old self, huh?Ó she said. ÒWell
IÕm not sure I want you to be that much better!Ó
ÒAre you really
sure you donÕt?Ó His lifted his
eyebrows and wriggled them theatrically while he leered.
ÒYou are such
an ass.Ó
ÒÕs why you
love me,Ó he grinned, holding the door open for her.
ÒI donÕtÉ Just
shut up!Ó She flew through the
doorway, her face flaming only to find everyone staring at them with various
expressions of shock on their faces.
Too late, she realized that sheÕd allowed Spike to open and hold the
door for her as if he were a man rather than an annoying vampire.
ÒHi, guys, Ò
she said weakly. ÒThanks for
coming. I just thought it would be
easier to tell everybody at one time instead of trying to catch everybody
beforeÉÓ
ÒBeforeÉ?Ó Giles gazed at her with curiosity, then
over her shoulder with barely concealed hostility. Spike smirked back at him and jumped up on the counter to
watch.
ÒLooking
better, fangface,Ó Xander said into the silence. ÒHas the Buffster been keeping you safe from those big bad
humans?Ó
Spike gave
Xander the expected glare, somewhat muted by his memory of how the boy had
helped Buffy care for him. He
muttered a face-saving something about what heÕd do when the chip was out and
turned away from XanderÕs laughing, ÒYouÕre welcomeÓ.
ÒWhat humans?
What is Xander talking about?Ó
Giles stared at the two new arrivals, a frown creasing his brow.
ÒYou didnÕt
tell him?Ó Buffy looked at Xander in surprise.
ÒI just told
him Spike got beat up and that he was recovering at your house.Ó He shrugged in
embarrassment. ÒWe werenÕt sure
exactly what to say about who did it, and I donÕt really know how or why it
happened, soÉÓ
ÒIt happened
because RileyÕs a poophead,Ó Willow muttered.
ÒThank you,
Willow, that was quite informative.Ó Giles rolled his eyes like a teenager.
ÒSarcasm is
never pretty, Giles,Ó Willow said primly, giving him her best offended sniff.
Ignoring her,
Giles looked at Spike, noticing for the first time the fading bruises on the
vampireÕs face. He waited for an
explanation from the vampire, but when it wasnÕt forthcoming, turned his
attention to Buffy.
ÒBuffy?Ó
ÒHereÕs the
sitch, Giles. Riley and I have been having someÉrelationship issuesÉlately, and
he decided to take out his anger about it on Spike. I donÕt know what would have happened if I hadnÕt found them
when I did.Ó
ÒAnd why would
he take it out on Spike?Ó The
older manÕs shrewd look told her he was going to be no easier to fool than her
mother was.
ÒBecause he
canÕt fight back,Ó Tara said quietly.
ÒAnd because without his enhancements, RileyÕs ego seems to need a
little boosting.Ó
ÒHeÕs jealous,Ó
Buffy said flatly, determined to get that out of the way before the discussion
went any further. ÒI said
something about dating Spike when I was trying to convince Riley to come in and
get that chip out, and he just took it and ran with it.Ó
ÒYou said
something about dating Spike?Ó Xander was suddenly paying much closer
attention to the conversation.
ÒIt just popped
out. He – Riley – was
afraid I wouldnÕt want him any more once he was normal, and I said if I wanted
somebody with superpowers, IÕd be dating Spike.Ó
ÒSo, you were,
like, just saying that. You didnÕt
mean you actually wanted to date Spike, right?Ó
Buffy blushed,
avoiding SpikeÕs intent gaze.
ÒIÕm telling
you the same thing I told Riley – I have too many other things to worry
about now. Dating isnÕt on my list.Ó
Hoping sheÕd
been vague enough to deflect suspicion, she continued quickly.
ÒSo thatÕs why
we had to have a meeting.Ó
ÒWeÕre having a
meeting because you and Riley are on the outs? Or because he beat up
Spike?Ó Giles still looked
confused.
ÒOh, no! WeÕre having a meeting because Riley
came to the house this morning looking for Spike and he saidÉÓ She looked at
Spike for assistance again and he jumped off the counter to stand behind her.
ÒThe wanker is
thinking about hitting the vamp bite houses and getting himself turned.Ó
ÒDear lord,Ó
Giles muttered. ÒWhat could he be
thinking?Ó
ÒSeems he
thinks the Slayer has a thing for vampires and that sheÕll fall at his feet.Ó
ÒOh dear. Buffy, IÕm so sor--Ó GilesÕ expression
changed, as did his intended words. ÒÉso bloody angry at that oaf, I would
volunteer to be the one to stake him for you. I am sorry, Buffy.Ó
Buffy waved her
hand dismissively. ÒHe thinks I
wonÕt stake him. HeÕs wrong. The bottom line is that you all need to
be careful when youÕre out at night, and donÕt go near him. And donÕt let him in your house or
room. If he canÕt get in under his
own power, youÕll know what happened.
Call me right away.Ó
She turned
toward her friends. ÒIÕm going to
try to prevent it, if I can.Ó
ÒHow?Ó
ÒFor starters,
IÕm going to burn down all thoseÉplacesÉwhere people go to get sucked.Ó
ÒHow will you
find them? I doubt anyone is going to share that information with the Slayer.Ó
ÒSpikeÕs going
to show me.Ó
ÒHe is?Ó
ÒI am?Ó
Buffy put her
hands on her hips and glared at him.
ÒYou know where they are, donÕt you?Ó
ÒMost of Ôem,Ó
he admitted grudgingly. ÒBut those
poor vamps working there arenÕt hurtinÕ anybody. No more than they want to be hurtÉÓ
ÒItÕs
disgusting. And dangerous. They
have to go.Ó
Spike and Giles
exchanged a look, then the watcher said softly, ÒBuffy, you do realize that
Riley can get himself turned almost anywhere? He could go to WillyÕs, or just
hang around the cemeteries until he finds a vamp to drain him.Ó
ÒHe could,Ó she
admitted reluctantly. ÒBut if he thinks thereÕs somethingÉI mean Spike saysÉand
he could probably trust aÉmaybe he wouldnÕtÉÓ She looked at Spike, saying
meekly, ÒHelp?Ó
ÒWhat the
Slayer is trying so eloquently to say is that there can be a sexual component
to a vamp bite. It feels good
– or it can, if done right.
And the soldier-boy obviously already knows that – has heard about
it, at least. DonÕt see him taking
his chances on some random vamp that wants to tear his throat out when he can
have it done all gentle-like and get himself off at the same time.Ó
BuffyÕs flaming
face told him he might have been a bit too graphic in his description, but his
apologetic shrug wasnÕt seen by anyone except Giles. Anya was busy reminiscing about vampires sheÕd known back in
her demon days, Xander was struggling not to appear curious, and Willow and
Tara were looking appropriately shocked.
ÒBuffyÉÓ Giles
began, not sure what he intended to say.
ÒGiles, it
doesnÕt matter whether theyÕre intentionally hurting anybody or not. The point
is, they could. Who knows how many
of the vampires I stake every night came from some vamp-ho who didnÕt know when
to stop? Besides, maybe if it
isnÕt easy for him, Riley will think twice about it.Ó
ÒHe might think
twice about it once he cools down,Ó Xander volunteered, still reluctant to give
up on his only male friend in spite of the surprising changes in RileyÕs
behavior.
Buffy looked at
him in surprise.
ÒXander, he was
lying to you to get you to do something you knew was wrong. How can you defend
him after that?Ó
ÒWell, I didnÕt
know it was wrong, did I? I mean,
if Deadboy, Jr there got the chip outÉÓ
ÒYouÕd be the
first to know, Harris,Ó Spike said with a grin that just exposed the tips of
his fangs.
ÒSee! It could have been true!Ó Xander glared back at the unrepentant
vampire.
ÒI heard what
you said to that wanker,Ó Spike said, allowing his grin to fade. ÒYou already knew it wasnÕt true before
Buffy got there.Ó
Xander sighed
and shrugged. ÒYeah, all right. I
guess I did. But I could have been
wrong about you. You are still evil, arenÕt you?Ó He gave Spike a confused frown.
ÒSometimes, I
guess I am,Ó Spike answered with a sideways look at Buffy. ÒBut thereÕs nobody in this room isnÕt
safe from me, chip or no chip.Ó
ÒYou do
understand that, as reassuring as that may be, it is not quite whatÕs needed to
allay our fears?Ó Giles asked dryly.
ÒBloody hell,Ó
the vampire muttered. He turned on
Buffy accusingly. ÒWhat do I have
to do for these gits?Ó
ÒYou could
start by not calling them stupid British names,Ó she said with mock severity,
putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.
The soft look
on his face when he gazed at the obviously not really angry slayer, and her own
twitching lips when he grinned had everyone except Tara blinking their eyes in
shocked comprehension.
ÒOh, dear
lord,Ó Giles muttered, turning away so as not to see the undeniable silent
communication going on between Buffy and another – this time, soulless
– vampire.
Xander
continued to gape at them, long after everyone else had shrugged and gone back
to discussing what to do about Riley.
When he felt he had regained control of his mouth, he said, ÒWhat? How?
When? Why didnÕt I know this?Ó
ÒKnow what?Ó
Buffy asked, oblivious to the new found knowledge in everyoneÕs eyes.
ÒYou and
Deadboy, Jr, there. ThatÕs
what. No wonder Riley tried to
kill himÉno offense,Ó he added, with a shrug in SpikeÕs direction.
ÒNone taken,Ó
Spike sighed, jumping back up onto the counter. ÒAnd thereÕs nothing to know. SlayerÕs got more important things to worry about right now
thanÉÓ He stopped, unwilling to say any more without permission from Buffy.
ÒBuffy has a
hellgod, a hormonal key, a mother recovering from brain surgery and an
ex-boyfriend who wants to be a vampire.
She has no time in her life for anything else. So get it out of your
minds. We have other things to
concentrate on.Ó
Buffy held her
ground, refusing to acknowledge the rolled eyes and sidelong glances at
Spike. She turned to glare at him,
asking, ÒAre you going to help me find these places or not?Ó
With a sigh, he
jumped off the counter and stood beside her.
ÒIÕll help you,
pet, if youÕll do me one favor.Ó
She gazed back
at him noncommittally.
ÒI want you to
let two of the girls go. Let me
get them out first, yeah?Ó
ÒWhat? Are you crazy? Why would I do that?Ó Her eyes narrowed
jealously. ÒWhat are they to you?Ó
Spike took her
arm and tried to move her out of hearing range, but Buffy planted her feet and
refused to move with him. She
tapped her foot as she waited for him to answer her question.
With a
frustrated growl, he said, ÒTheyÕre sweet girls that Dru turned years ago when
she and Angelus were running around town.
They kept them alive for a while andÉÓ He shrugged his shoulders. ÒI owe them,Ó he said simply. ÒTheyÕve
never hurt a fly, theyÕre just trying to survive without killing people and IÕm
not gonna be the one that leads the Slayer to them.Ó
ÒYou want me to
spare some of your ex-girlfriends?Ó
BuffyÕs voice climbed into a range that made Spike wince and cover his
ears.
ÒTheyÕre not
ex-anythings,Ó he growled. ÒThey
just arenÕt dangerous to anybody and I promised them IÕd keep them safe. I keep my promises.Ó
BuffyÕs
nostrils flared, unreasonable anger making her temporarily mute, while Spike
stared back at her, his face set in a stony mask and his eyes hard. Just as the Scoobies were wondering if
there was going to be Spike dust floating around the shop, Giles stepped
forward.
ÒThis is quite
interesting information,Ó he said to Spike. ÒI should like to interview theseÉyoung women, if you could
guarantee my safety.Ó
ÒJust said
theyÕd never hurt anyone, didnÕt I?Ó Spike grumbled, flashing the watcher a
grateful look never the less.
ÒThis is quite
unprecedented. There is little or
nothing in the Watcher files to indicate that is even possible.Ó
ÒCouncil of
Wankers doesnÕt know everything,Ó Spike said mildly, relaxing his stance a
little now that it was clear BuffyÕs watcher was not going to allow her to
stake the girls.
ÒExactly. Which
is why it is so important that I interview them. Buffy,Ó he turned to his shocked slayer, Òplease do not harm
SpikeÕsÉfriends. I should like very much to speak with them.Ó
BuffyÕs mouth
opened and closed several times before she gave up and spun around to head for
the door.
ÒCome on,
Spike,Ó she snarled. ÒWeÕve got
places to go, vamps to stakeÉÓ
They walked in
silence for several blocks, Buffy almost stomping down the street and refusing
to acknowledge SpikeÕs presence until she realized he was no longer pacing
along beside her.
ÒWhat?Ó
She stopped and
turned to find him standing still, hands in pockets and disgusted look on his
face. He shook his head and
pointed to the front stoop of an abandoned building. For a town its size, Sunnydale seemed to have a large number
of buildings that served no purpose but to act as a buffer between the human
areas of town and that small area near the dump that was almost exclusively
demon.
ÒWhy?Ó she
demanded, placing her hands on her hips and jutting her lower lip out.
ÒBecause,Ó he
said, sitting down and pulling out his cigarettes, ÒI think we need to chat
this out before we get where youÕre so determined to go.Ó
ÒNothing to
ÔchatÕ about,Ó she said, sitting next to him with exaggerated disdain. ÒThere
are places where vamps bite people; IÕm the Slayer, I stop vamps from biting
people. Ergo, I should take those places down.Ó
ÒAnd the silent
treatment youÕre giving me is in no way related to the fact that two of those
girls are my friends?Ó
ÒTwo of those vampires are your friends,Ó she growled.
ÒAnd thatÕs a
problem becauseÉ?Ó
Buffy struggled
to come up with a reasonable response, then gave up. Her shoulders slumped and
her lengthy exhale sounded almost like a groan.
ÒI sound
jealous, donÕt I?Ó
ÒA bit,Ó he
said, smothering a smile. ÒAre you?Ó
She glanced at
him out of the corners of her eyes.
ÒWould you like
that? If I was?Ó
He shook his
head even as he said, ÒWould feed my ego a bit, got to admit.Ó
ÒYour ego
doesnÕt need feeding,Ó she said, the corners of her mouth quirking up.
ÒYou might be
surprised, Slayer,Ó he said mildly. ÒBut thatÕs not the point. The point is,
these two girls have never hurt anyone – not on purpose. Angelus and Dru
may have provided them with a first meal when they rose, but after that...Ó
ÒHow do you
know so much about them?Ó
ÒRemember when
you put me in that wheelchair?
Those months I spent depending on my grandsire and my bug-shagging crazy
sire to remember to feed me?Ó
Buffy nodded,
giving him an apologetic shrug, which he acknowledged with a dismissive shrug
of his own, and a pat on her hand.
ÒLike I said
earlier, they kept the girls around for a while before they turned them.
AngelusÉÓ He fixed his gaze on Buffy. ÒDonÕt think you want to hear about what
it was like to be a captive of your ex when heÕs not all souled up,Ó he said.
She nodded and
gave him a grateful smile. ÒJust give me the important parts.Ó
ÒRight. Well,
the girls were kept chained, but with room to move around a bit. Made it more
fun for—Never mind. Anyway,
itÕs not like I had a lot to do then once DruÕs ÔdaddyÕ was back, so I talked
to the girls; we got to know each other a little. Angelus even let me feed off
them once in a while – once they stopped cryinÕ every time he came in the
room, he lost interest in them himself.
And IÉI made it good for them.Ó
ÒGood?Ó
ÒDoesnÕt have
to hurt, pet. Remember?Ó
ÒSo, evil,
unchipped you didnÕt drain them and didnÕt even make it hurt?Ó
ÒWas no point
in losing my only source of fresh blood by using it all up at one time. And since I couldnÕt chase them around
the room without getting tangled in the chains, it was in my best interest to
make them willing to come to me.Ó
ÒSo this was
all about feeding you, not about helping them.Ó
He gave her a
flat stare. ÒIÕm a vampire, Buffy. And at that time I was unchipped, starving,
and miserable. Too bloody right it was about me.Ó
She moved away
just enough for him to notice, not enough to actually have been said to recoil. SpikeÕs breath came out in an explosive
sigh.
ÒNot going to
pretend, love. You know what I amÉwas. CanÕt change it – not sure I would if I could. What I was is part of what I am
now. Know IÕve changed since then,
but-—Ó
Buffy
interrupted him. ÒSo, what has all this got to do with me not staking these two
vamp hos?Ó
His jaw
tightened, a muscle flexing in his cheek, then he said, ÒAfter they were
turned, they came back to be minions.
But they didnÕt want to kill – told Angelus they knew they didnÕt
have to kill to drink, and they wouldnÕt do it. Thought the old poof was going to spontaneously combust,Ó he
said with a grin.
ÒHe threw them
out, told them they could come crawling back when they were ready to act like
Ôreal vampiresÕ. But IÕd already told them who to talk to about working in a
bite house, so they were alright.Ó
ÒOkayÉÓBuffy
said dubiously, Òbut why do you feel like you owe them? Seems to me that they
owe you.Ó
ÒOh, well, they
were grateful for my help with Angleus and they used to sneak back in when he
was busy trying to end the world and bring me blood from WillyÕs. They pretty much kept me from starvinÕ
to death – probably the only reason I was able to walk by the time I
found you, truth be told. Those regular meals kept me going.Ó
Buffy was
silent while she digested this new information about vampires and their
relative evilness. Her eyes flew to SpikeÕs and she opened her mouth to
speak. He cut her off before she
got more than, ÒHave I ever--Ó
ÒDonÕt,Ó he
said with more force than he meant to.
ÒDonÕt ever let yourself worry about stuff like that. The vamps that donÕt want to kill know
enough to stay away from you. You
see it, you stake it. ThatÕs the
bottom line, Slayer. Any hesitation on your part, and youÕre dead.Ó
ÒBut, what ifÉÓ
ÒNo ÔbutsÕ. No
Ôwhat ifsÕ. YouÕve learned to recognize the demons that donÕt feed on humans,
thatÕs good enough. If I thought
telling you about those girls would slow you down when youÕre doing your job,
IÕd let you kill them.Ó
There was
genuine fear in his face and voice; once again, Buffy was reminded of what heÕd
almost said to her the night before.
She studied his anxious eyes, searching them for any sign of duplicity,
but all she could see was his very real concern that he may have been responsible
for endangering her.
She sighed and
nodded her head.
ÒDonÕt worry,Ó
she said with a wry smile, ÒI think Giles has me too thoroughly brainwashed. I
canÕt imagine stopping to worry about a vampÕs possible good qualities while
heÕs trying to kill me.Ó
ÒPromise me?Ó
ÒCross my heart
and hope toÉok, not die, but something less drastic.Ó
He exhaled with
relief and leaned back on his elbows. He smiled at her, feeling that familiar
warmth go through him when she smiled back.
ÒSo, are we
alright, then? YouÕre not going to
stake my friends in a fit of jealousy?Ó
ÒDepends on how
pretty they are,Ó she said, tossing her hair playfully.
ÒNot as pretty
as you are, pet. I can guarantee
you that,Ó he said, running one hand up her cheek, withdrawing it before she
could object.
Buffy blushed,
but managed to stammer out, ÒWell, I guess thatÕs okay, then. LetÕs go find them.Ó
This time their
walk was more leisurely and Buffy let their shoulders brush occasionally. From the corner of her eye, she could
see SpikeÕs fingers twitching and she guessed he was fighting the urge to take
her hand while they walked.
Fortunately, before she had to decide if holding hands with William the
Bloody was something she was willing to do in public, they arrived at the first
of the bite houses. Buffy studied
the innocuous-seeming building for some sign that it was the home of Evil, but
all she saw was a somewhat decrepit apartment building, or perhaps an old
hotel.
ÒThis is it,
pet. Just bear in mind, these vamps arenÕt trying to hurt anybody, theyÕre just
doing what they need to survive.Ó
ÒSpike, they
are biting people! TheyÕre feeding.
On people. They donÕt have to do that. IÕm sure the butchersÕ have enough pigs
blood to go around.Ó
ÒThey probably
do,Ó he admitted. ÒItÕs not like IÕm the only vamp in Sunnydale that drinks
that swill – IÕm just the only one that has to. The others choose to drink it if they arenÕt getting enough
of what they need.Ó
ÒOh.Ó
ÒYeah,Ó he
said, making a disgusted noise. ÒOh. I told you before, Slayer. None of these
vamps are trying to hurt anybody. YouÕre not going to be able to stop people
from getting bit if thatÕs their thing.
YouÕll just be putting them in more danger by sending them out to bars to
hook up with vamps that may or may not be lyinÕ when they say they wonÕt kill
them.Ó
ÒSpike –
itÕs wrong!Ó
ÒTell me
something, Slayer.Ó His use of her title lent weight to his angry words. ÒIf you didnÕt think your ex might show
up here, would you still be as set on shutting them down?Ó
ÒOf course, I
would! ItÕs just as wrong for
anybody else to be here as it is for Riley.Ó
ÒDidnÕt know
managing other peopleÕs personal lives was one of those things Slayers were
charged with doing,Ó Spike said mildly.
ÒI would have thought fighting real evil would be enough to keep you
busy.Ó
ÒYou donÕt
think Riley would be evil if he got himself turned?Ó
ÒOh, donÕt
doubt it, pet. But all you really
need to do is stop that from happening.
No reason to do in a lot of innocent bystanders in the process.Ó
ÒSpike, there
is nothing ÒinnocentÓ about these
vampires – or about their customers for that matter. Nothing.Ó
ÒAlright. IÕll
give you not innocent; but not intentionally evil, either. NobodyÕs doinÕ this
that doesnÕt want to be here doinÕ it.
Vamps or humans. It may be
seedy and kinky, but--Ó
ÒIcky. The word
youÕre looking for is ÒickyÓ
ÒIÕm bloody
well sure ÒickyÓ is not the word IÕm looking for,Ó he growled.
They glared at
each other for several minutes, only startled out of the stand-off when a man
came out of the house and scuttled off in the direction of downtown. A woman emerged a moment later,
freezing when she saw Spike and Buffy.
ÒSpike?Ó
ÒGina. How are
you, luv?Ó
The vampireÕs
eyes flew back and forth between Spike and Buffy. Her brow furrowed and she began to edge back towards the
door.
ÒIsnÕt that--Ó
she began, her expression becoming more frightened as she noticed the stake
Buffy was juggling conspicuously.
ÒIt is, but she
isnÕt going to hurt you,Ó he soothed, stepping between Buffy and the
dark-haired vampire. ÒCan you get
Dixie for us? Slayer wants to talk
to you.Ó
ÒDixieÉsheÕs
busy with aÉOh my god!Ó Something
about the vampireÕs horrified expression clicked and Buffy jumped around Spike,
grabbing Gina by the arm.
ÒSheÕs busy
with what? Who? Who is she busy with?Ó
ÒShe didnÕt
meanÉhe askedÉbut we donÕtÉÓ She appealed to Spike for help as Buffy charged up
the steps and into the building, shouting RileyÕs name.
ÒStay here,Ó he
said. ÒWeÕll be right back. What floor are they on?Ó he added as he
ran up the steps, following the sound of screaming and breaking furniture.
ÒSeÉsecond.
TheyÕre on the second floorÉÓ She was speaking to empty space, Spike having
already burst into the building.
He shoved his way through the crowd of frightened vampires and confused
customers trying to get out, hitting the stairs right behind Buffy. She had paused at the top, her eyes
darting right and left as she tried to figure out which room to look in. Spike touched her arm gently and pointed
right.
ÒHis scent goes
that way, Slayer,Ó he said.
Without
response, Buffy turned right and started down the hall, pausing before each
door to let Spike listen and sniff.
Doors began opening as the sounds from downstairs interrupted the
activities going on – sometimes slamming shut immediately when the
inhabitant spotted the stake in BuffyÕs hand. A young vampire whose handsome face looked uncomfortably
familiar burst out of one room, an equally young, frightened girl clinging to
his arm. The blood on his mouth
and the girlÕs disheveled appearance were all Buffy needed to raise her stake.
Immediately,
the girl threw herself in front of the vampire, crying, ÒNo! DonÕt stake
him. You canÕt stake him!Ó
Grabbing the
girl and shoving her behind him, the boy trembled but stood his ground,
shielding her with his body. Buffy frowned in confusion, hesitating just long
enough for Spike to grab her arm.
ÒLeave them be,
Slayer,Ó he said, the plea in his voice doing as much to stay her hand as his
powerful hand on hers. ÒCanÕt you
see theyÕre just kids?Ó
ÒSheÕs a kid,Ó Buffy said, gesturing to
the girl who was fighting to get out from behind the boy and protect him from
Buffy. ÒHeÕs not a kid anymore,
and he never will be – or he always will be – whatever. HeÕs feeding off her and who knows what
else heÕs doing to herÉÓ
ÒI love him!Ó
the girl sobbed hysterically. ÒHe isnÕt hurting me. He wouldnÕt hurt me. WeÕre in love.Ó
Buffy stared,
mouth open, as the two youngsters, neither one more than a couple of years
younger than she was, stood, trembling in fear, their arms wrapped around each
other tightly. When the boy spoke,
Buffy realized why he looked familiar. He was the younger brother of one of her
own Sunnydale High classmates.
ÒYouÉheÉyou
canÕt be in love. HeÕs a vampire! He canÕt love you. He has no soul.Ó Her slight hesitation told Spike sheÕd
heard his soft growl as he took his hand off her arm.
ÒI can too love
her,Ó the boy snarled at her. ÒI
loved her beforeÉthisÉÓ he gestured at himself, Òand I still love her. I will always love her. WeÕre going to be married as soon as
weÕre old enough.Ó
ÒMarried?Ó
The girl
blushed and hid her head in his chest.
When neither one of them said anything else, Spike frowned and stepped
closer. The young vampire growled at him, but Spike was uncharacteristically
polite as he said, ÒJusÕ want to give a listen. WonÕt hurt her. I promise.Ó
Without waiting
for the boyÕs reluctant permission, Spike stepped closer to them and leaned
down until his head was near the girlÕs abdomen. He listened for a minute, then smiled and stood up straight.
ÒCongratulations,Ó
he said, pulling Buffy away. ÒNow
get out of the building. Find yourselves someplace else, yeah?Ó
Nodding
vigorously, they ran down the hall to the stairs, holding hands the entire
time.
ÒWhat the hell
was that?Ó Buffy hissed, continuing her march down the hallway. By now, many of the doors were open,
their occupants having taken advantage of the conversation going on at one end
of the long hall to sneak out the other.
After several more dead ends, Spike held his hand up and listened
closely outside the next to last door, inhaling deeply, then nodding.
ÒPromise me you
wonÕt harm Dixie,Ó he said. ÒSheÕs
as much his victim as he is hers.Ó
ÒNo promises,
if sheÕs turned him,Ó Buffy said, her face set into hard lines.
With an
exasperated sigh, he nodded, knowing from the sounds coming from the room that
Riley was still very much alive.
He offered to open the door for Buffy, but she raised one foot and
kicked it in herself. She shrugged
when he muttered in her ear, ÒI was just going to turn the doorknob, Slayer.Ó
When she saw
the couple inside the room, she almost wished she had let Spike go in
first. Riley glanced up from his
position between DixieÕs legs, blood trickling from his neck where sheÕd been
sucking on it. His
expression went from shock to anger in only a momentÕs time.
ÒWhatÕs he doing here?Ó he demanded, as if his
being caught with his pants down and a vampireÕs fangs in his neck was somehow
SpikeÕs fault. He sat up, tucking
himself away and picking up a nearby towel to wipe the blood off his neck. The vampire – Dixie –
remained frozen in terror. She
knew exactly who Buffy was, having been warned many times to stay away from
areas where she might run into the Slayer. She also knew exactly who Riley was – having listened
to Spike complaining about the Initiative soldier many times.
ÒPull your skirt down and get out of
here,Ó Spike growled at her. ÒGo
downstairs and wait with Gina.Ó
He could see
that Dixie was too sure that sheÕd be dust if she moved to follow his orders,
even though heÕd used a voice he rarely bothered with – one that should
have caused such a much younger vamp to jump to obey. He touched BuffyÕs rigid back lightly, and said, ÒSlayer?Ó
ÒLeave,Ó Buffy
gritted out, never taking her eyes off Riley. ÒYou too, Spike. Get out of here.Ó
ÒBuf- SlayerÉÓ
ÒOut. Now.Ó
Shooting the
soldier a warning glare, Spike left through the open door and walked down the
hall, pounding on the closed doors and saying loud enough for vamp hearing,
ÒSlayerÕs in the building, and sheÕs not happy. Get out while you can.Ó
The few
vampires that hadnÕt left as soon as Buffy was past their rooms, bolted for the
stairs, dragging their confused companions behind them. Spike followed in a leisurely fashion,
his ears attuned to the room heÕd just left and the loud conversation going on
there.
ÒAre you
crazy?Ó BuffyÕs shriek didnÕt
require vampire hearing to understand, although RileyÕs responding mutter would
have been inaudible to anyone else.
ÒJust spending
some time with someone who actually wants what I have to give,Ó he said,
standing up straighter and doing his best to seem offended.
ÒYouÕre out
here getting sucked on. By one of those creatures you keep telling me are evil
animals.Ó She stopped and stared
at RileyÕs abashed face. ÒAre you
really trying to get yourself turned?
Do you really think thatÕs going to change anything between us?Ó
ÒYes! No! I donÕt know what the hell IÕm
doing. What am I supposed to think
when the girl I thought was in love with me spends more time with a vampire
than she does with me?Ó
ÒRileyÉÓ
BuffyÕs voice dropped lower, and Spike strained to hear what she was going to
say. ÒIÕmÉIÕm not like other
girls. I canÕt be. I probably never was, I just didnÕt
notice how much different I was until I was called. IÕm sorry that you got caught up in my attempt to be a
normal college student with a normal love life. I guess I should have known better. Spike tried to tell
me--Ó
ÒAnd weÕre back
to Spike.Ó RileyÕs voice was flat and hard. ÒLet me guess, he told you that you could never be happy
with a human – and you just went for it.Ó
ÒWellÉyeah, he
did, actually. But I was thinking
more about some things he said years ago – when we were still enemies who
hated each other. SpikeÕs never
let me hide from what I am, no matter how hard I might be trying to. HeÕs
always known what a slayer is – or should be – and he has always
called me on it when IÕm doing something ÔunnaturalÕ.Ó She shook her head and turned
away. ÒMy life has been different
from most slayersÕ, I have family, friends, good fashion sense – but
underneath it all, I am what I am.Ó
ÒAnd that is?Ó
Buffy shrugged.
ÒA killer. IÕm someone who kills
evil, but sentient beings.Ó She raised her eyes to RileyÕs. ÒAnd IÕm very good at it. DonÕt ever forget that, Riley.Ó
She turned and
walked towards the door.
ÒThatÕs it?
ThatÕs all you have to say?Ó
Buffy responded
without turning around to look at him. ÒI made myself clear this morning,
Riley. If you keep doing this,
youÕre putting yourself in danger of being turned. YouÕre a big boy. ItÕs your
decision.Ó
Buffy opened
the door and walked out, leaving it open behind her. She walked down the now
empty hall without glancing into the rooms she passed, ignoring the few humans
still getting dressed and trying to figure out what was going on.
Spike was
waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, turning silently to follow her out
the door and down the steps to where Gina and Dixie were cowering against a
dumpster. Buffy walked up to them,
saying through tight lips, ÒMy Watcher wants to talk to you. YouÕll find him at the Magic Box,Ó then
she spun around and strode off down the street in the opposite direction.
Spike looked
back and forth between BuffyÕs rapidly disappearing back and the two puzzled
girls. He gave a deep sigh then said quickly, ÒGo to the Magic Box and talk to
the man. HeÕs fair enough –
for a Council wanker. Convince him
that youÕre harmless and tell him whatever he needs to hear about how you get
by. He wonÕt hurt you.Ó
He gave them a
reassuring smile and pointed towards what passed for a downtown in
Sunnydale. ÒGo on with you. YouÕll be alright.Ó
As soon as the
girl vampires had left, Spike squared his shoulders and took off after Buffy,
using the lingering scent on the air to follow her until he was once more close
enough to see her. He sprinted the
last hundred yards, catching up with her in time to match her steps as she
marched steadily into the demon section of Sunnydale.
After another
minute of silent walking he ventured, ÒAre you alright? DidnÕt kill the big
git, did you?Ó
ÒNo, of course
I didnÕt kill him. And donÕt
pretend you werenÕt listening. I know you heard me.Ó
He nodded. ÒI did.Ó
They walked on
until the buildings started to become more familiar and Spike realized that
Buffy had walked through the demon area and was now heading back towards the
outskirts of it. Heading, in fact,
directly towards WillyÕs. Without
discussion, they approached the seedy bar and went in, Spike once again holding
the door for the Slayer.
WillyÕs face
paled as he saw them enter, and several of his patrons slipped out the back
door leaving their unfinished drinks on the bar. However, instead of threatening him for information, Buffy
just walked to a booth, glared at the small demon sitting in it until he jumped
up with a ÒHave a seat,
Slayer.Ó She slid onto the padded
bench and said, ÒBring me a drink, Willy.Ó
ÒUhÉÓ the
hovering bartender stammered. ÒCould you be a little more specific, Sla- er,
Miss Summers?Ó
ÒBring us a
bottle of Jack,Ó Spike said, sliding into the opposite seat. ÒThe good Jack;
and clean glasses.Ó
Willy scampered
off to follow SpikeÕs instructions, leaving the vampire staring at BuffyÕs
impassive face.
ÒGonna talk to
me, pet?Ó
ÒDonÕt feel
like talking,Ó she muttered, staring at her hands twisting together on the damp
tabletop. She thought back to the
night Spike had told her that she made death with her hands every day. Her eyes flew to his. ÒI am a killer. I never really felt like one until tonight when I saw how
scared of me they all were – and until I admitted it to Riley. The Council can call us ÒslayersÓ if
they want to, but weÕre trained killers.
ThatÕs what we are.Ó
Spike
cautiously put one hand on top of hers, gently pressing it down to still the
twisting and wringing.
ÒYouÕre The
Slayer, love. The Chosen One. The
one who stands between all thatÕs good and all that isnÕt. You kill because thatÕs the only way to
rid the world of the kind of evil you were born to destroy.Ó He watched her expression anxiously,
not liking at all what he was hearing in her voice.
"Is that
why you like me?" she blurted suddenly. "Because I'm a killer, just like you? That's what you told me, isn't it? That I'm like you?"
He winced
visibly and withdrew his hand, running it over his face to give himself time to
think.
"You're
nothing like me," he finally said, his voice quiet and controlled. "I
know it, and you know it. If I
said that..." Her glare stopped him.
"When I said that, I was
trying to get...I was...." He shrugged and gazed at her with an expression
that, had he not been a soulless vampire, she would have called 'shame'. "Was looking to make you weak,
Buffy. I wanted you, and knew you wouldn't allow yourself to be with a soulless
creature... even if you.... I was
just blowin' smoke in your eyes, hoping you'd not see me clearly."
"I think I
see you pretty clearly," she said enigmatically.
"Then you
understand why I was trying to bring you down to my level," he said,
slumping back in the bench.
There was no
answer as Willy returned with a new bottle of Jack Daniels and two relatively
clean glasses. He set them down on
the table and scuttled back to the bar, hoping it wouldn't turn out that the
Slayer was as mean a drunk as her companion could be.
The bar
remained fairly empty as each new prospective customer came in, ordered, and
then noticed who was sitting in the back booth. Even the slime-covered demon who spotted Spike and swaggered
over to harass him about his gambling debts paled when he saw who the vampire's
companion was. He took one look at
Buffy tossing back shots, and immediately began to apologize for bothering
them. He left quickly, not
noticing Buffy's giggle of amusement or Spike's angry glare that the demon
hadn't been afraid of him, but quailed at the sight of the Slayer.
"Laugh it
up," he muttered. "Next
time I see that git, I'll show him which one of us he really needs to worry
about."
"Nice to
know that Riley isn't the only one with masculinity issues about dating the
Slayer," Buffy said, giggling again as Spike's face became thunderous.
He growled
under his breath and glowered for a full minute before shaking his head and
breaking out in a reluctant smile.
"TouchŽ, pet," he said, nudging her foot with his toe. "It is a mite hard on the old ego
when the nasties are more afraid of a slip of a girl than they are of the Big
Bad."
"So,"
she said, suddenly serious and not meeting his eyes as she drew circles on
table with a finger she'd dipped in her drink. "Are you going to go running off to get sucked by vamp
ho's now, too?"
He put one hand
over hers and stopped her aimless circles.
"I hope
you meant that to be funny," he said, waiting for her to look up and meet
his eyes. " 'cause if you
didn't..."
"I'm
sorry," she sighed. She cast
an accusing eye at the amber liquid in her glass. "I thought this stuff would make me feel better,"
she complained. "Isn't that
why you drink it?" She downed another shot, following it with the usual
full-body shudder. "It can't
be for the taste!"
Spike chuckled
and swallowed his own glassful, smacking his lips and rolling his eyes.
"I like
the taste," he said, pouring more into his glass and raising his eyebrow
in question. He laughed when Buffy
put a hand over her own glass and gave him a horrified "no!".
"There's
no point in drinking it if it isn't going to make me feel better," she
grumbled. "It's like forcing
down medicine that isn't working."
"I think
it's working," he said.
"You've apologized. To me. Clearly indicates that you're well on
your way to being drunk on your delectable arse."
"I think
I'm about to be sick to my delectable stomach," she said in a suddenly
small voice. "Does this place
even have a ladies room?" She
stared around frantically until Spike pointed to the hall right behind their
booth.
"Right
there, pet. Can't guarantee how clean it is, but---"
Buffy leapt to
her feet and ran down the hall, shoving the door open as she reached the first
restroom. Snarling "get
out!" at the very male demon relieving himself at a urinal, she just made
it to the first stall before her stomach rejected the alcohol she'd been
forcing into it.
After several minutes
of retching until she was sure the lining of her stomach was going to come up
through her throat, she finally lost the need to bend over and staggered to the
sink. Ignoring the fact that it
obviously hadn't been cleaned in a very long time, she ran the cold water over
her hands and splashed it on her face until she felt almost normal. She shuddered as she scooped up a
mouthful of water and rinsed the foul taste from her mouth. She was still leaning over the sink and
scrubbing at her face and mouth with a paper towel when Spike came in the door.
"You
alright, pet?"
"I'm
drunk, sick, embarrassed and standing in the men's room of a demon bar. Yeah, I'm just peachy."
He put a
tentative hand on her back and said, "Come on. Let me take you home. You'll feel better tomorrow."
When Buffy
cocked a disbelieving eye at him, he amended, "Or not. But by the
afternoon, for sure."
"I don't
want to go back out there," she mumbled.
"No
problem, Slayer. We'll sneak out the back and no one will ever know that you
can't hold your liquor."
With
uncharacteristic meekness, she allowed Spike to usher her out into the hallway
and turn her away from the main room, shielding her with his body. They made their way to the back door
without seeing anything but a small, fish-like demon that scampered away when
he saw Spike's fangs. The cool
night air was refreshing and Buffy was soon feeling more like herself.
The long walk
back to Revello Drive was slower than it could have been, with Buffy stopping
to yawn every once in while and actually leaning up against a tree once and
trying to nap. Although his face
couldn't hide his amusement, Spike eventually scooped her up and began striding
towards her home.
"Wha--
what are you doing?"
"Getting
you back to your own little bed before I have to fight off half the demons in
Sunnydale. You think you can just
take naps out here and none of them are going to notice?"
"Oh,"
she said, loosely draping her arms around his neck. " 'k, then."
Her head dropped onto his chest and she began to snore softly. Shaking his head, Spike marveled at how
soft and vulnerable one of the earth's deadliest creatures could seem when she
was asleep.
He was all the
way to the front door when he realized that he had no way to get inside the house
with a sleeping girl in his arms.
Growling at himself, he debated kicking on the door until he woke Joyce
up versus carrying Buffy to his crypt to sleep it off there. He was relieved of his dilemma when the
door opened on Joyce's frowning face.
"What
happened?"
"It's
okay, Joyce. She's not hurt, just a little...under the weather."
Joyce sniffed
and made a face. "She's
drunk, you mean." She fastened a hard eye on Spike. "Did you take my daughter out and
get her drunk?"
Spike swallowed
audibly, but bravely held onto his snoring burden.
"It was
her idea," he said meekly.
"I didn't know she was planning to get pissed."
Joyce glared at
him long enough that he began to look around anxiously in case she had a weapon
handy. Finally, she relaxed her shoulders
and sighed.
"Fine. So
what happened?"
"Don't
think that's my tale to tell," Spike said softly as he followed Joyce's
gesture and started up the stairs with his burden.
"Does this
have anything to do with that stupid soldier?"
"A
bit," he allowed, then shrugged. "Has more to do with her callin' I
think. It's taken quite a toll on her life in the past few years."
"I'm sure
it has," Joyce said as she followed him into Buffy's room and watched him
lay her daughter on the bed. His
hand lingered, brushing lightly across Buffy's face before he remembered that
he wasn't alone and stood up quickly. Joyce continued, "I don't know how these girls
don't go insane from living like this for so long."
"Most of
'em don't live this long," Spike said, meeting her frightened eyes. "They're lucky if they last a year
or more. Buffy's an exception, Joyce. She's different. Special."
"How long
can she keep being an exception?" Joyce's voice was almost a moan as she
accepted the truth of his words.
It was something she knew instinctively, but had forced herself not to
dwell on.
"As long
as I'm alive to keep it that way," Spike said as he edged away from the
bed, his reluctance to leave Buffy there alone visible in every line of his
body.
"Thank you
for that, Spike," Joyce said, maneuvering him out the door. "Let me get Buffy cleaned up and
tucked in and I'll join you downstairs.
There's blood in the refrigerator if you're hungry."
Taking the
hint, Spike went downstairs and shrugged out of his coat, leaving it on a chair
in the living room as he passed through on his way to the kitchen. He took out
the container of pig blood and poured a mug for himself while he waited for
Joyce to come back. When she
walked in, he was just taking the warmed blood from the microwave and she waved
him to a seat at the counter.
Sitting across
from him, she sighed and put her head in her hands. He was instantly alert.
"Head
hurts?" he asked, mug of blood forgotten as he rushed around the counter.
"No,"
she smiled at his concerned face. "The head is fine. I'm just too tired to sleep, I guess.
And finding out that my daughter's...job...is driving her to drink didn't
help."
Reassur