Here is my Seasonal Spuffy offering for this round.  It's pretty ordinary and kind of retro for me. I've been playing mostly in various possible futures lately, but this is a Season Five AU fic that follows a non-canon encounter between Spike and Buffy that leads to the events in this fic.  Thanks are owed Eowyn who read the beginning of it a long time ago when it was just a bunny and smacked me around until I cleaned up the most egregious of the canon issues (Not all of them, I'm sure. Don't blame her - she tried!) And more thanks to my two wonderful betas - Always_jbj and Just_Sue - who had to read the whole thing and catch my other errors and inevitable typos.  Any further mistakes are probably due to my incessant fiddling and not at all their fault.

 

Disclaimer: Joss's characters, my twist on his Season V

Summary: a sequel to my little pwp - How Can Something So Cold Make Me So Hot? in which Buffy found to her surprise that Spike knew just how to cool down her sunburn. All you really need to know about that ficlet is that Ms De Nile and Mr Big Bad found themselves willing to use any excuse to give in to urges neither one really knew they had. I don't think it's necessary to read that first, but it's short and smutty so if that's your thing...

 

When the Ice Has Melted

 

 

Bugger!  I had her there – for just a second, she was all mine.  I know she felt somethingÉ

 

 

Spike lay on the already cooling stone and stared at the ceiling, idly noting all the cobwebs as he mulled over what had just happened.

 

I donÕt care how much she hurt, or how good that ice felt, thereÕs no way the Slayer – Buffy – would have let me touch her like that if she didnÕt want me to.  SheÕs gonna deny it now – know that, donÕt I?  But I was there. I felt it.  She was there with me for just a minute.  And she didnÕt stake me afterÉ

 

 

 

Chapter One (1/9)

 

Buffy stood in front of the bathroom mirror and peered at her back.  YesterdayÕs painful sunburn was only a memory, replaced by a rich golden tan that she knew would fade almost as quickly. 

 

Who knew being a slayer meant that your body was going to consider a suntan as something to be healed?  Somebody should really speak to the Council about that.  It wasnÕt fair.

 

She continued muttering to herself about the injustice of having to spend so many of her waking hours in the dark and then not being able to keep a good tan for more than a day or so.  No one appreciated how hard it was to find the time needed to keep her sun-kissed complexion. 

 

I guess someday, when I donÕt have wrinkles, IÕll appreciate it.  Assuming, of course, that I live long enough to worry about wrinkles.

 

As long as she kept her attention on her skin and the unfairness of living in southern California but having to work to maintain a good tan, she didnÕt have to remember the incredibly sexy vampire and the inventive way heÕd cooled her off the night before.  Resolutely refusing to think about him, or the way her body had responded to his skillful attention, she dressed in clothes that were much more modest than what sheÕd worn the night before, and went downstairs to eat.

 

Dawn eyed her sweatshirt and the long, stretchy workout pants and blinked in surprise.

 

ÒLast night you went out almost naked, today you look like a nun – if nuns wore workout clothes and Sunnydale U sweatshirts.  WhatÕs the matter, did the vamps spend more time ogling than fighting?Ó

 

DawnÕs happy snort at her own humor faded as she saw her sisterÕs face pale.

 

ÒOh my god! Buffy?  Did somethingÉbadÉhappen last night?  I thought you said you only saw two vamps and that you dusted them?Ó

 

ÒNo, no. Nothing bad.  I just felt kind ofÉexposed, so IÕm over compensating, I guess.Ó

 

ÒSo, you didnÕt have any trouble with anything then?Ó

 

ÒNo, of course not.  What gives a cranky sunburned slayer trouble?Ó

 

ÒRiiiightÉÓ DawnÕs voice clearly indicated her disbelief, but she dropped the subject and went back to her cereal.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Fortunately, Joyce had already left for the gallery before Buffy left the house, and she hadn't had to face those oh-so-perceptive ÒmomÓ eyes. She wore her baggy clothing all day, ignoring the funny looks she got when she attended her only class. When she joined Riley for lunch off campus, Buffy felt she was sufficiently removed from the activities of the night before that she could talk to him without stuttering.

 

ÒIsnÕt it a little warm for that outfit?Ó he asked with a bemused smile.

 

ÒI got a bad sunburn yesterday,Ó Buffy explained quickly. ÒIÕm trying to keep the sun off my skin until itÕs all better.Ó

 

ÒOh, IÕm sorry.  ThatÕs a shame.  So, I guess youÕre too sore forÉÓ

 

ÒForÉ?Ó Buffy blinked at him in genuine confusion.

 

ÒWell, I donÕt have to work this afternoon, and you donÕt have any classes, so I thought maybe weÕdÉÓ

 

ÒYouÉweÉ Right!  YouÕre free for the rest of the day, and IÕm free andÉweÕre both free.Ó

 

He nodded slowly.  ÒAre you all right, Buffy? You didnÕt patrol last night did you?Ó

 

ÒWell, yeah, I patrolled a little bit. I mean thatÕs what I do, isnÕt it? Patrol. CanÕt let a little sunburn stop me from doing away with evilness.Ó

 

Riley made a face.  ÒAnd yet, Spike is still walking around.Ó

 

 ÒSpike?  WhatÕs Spike got to do with anything?Ó Buffy knew her suddenly high pitched voice was giving away her nervousness, but she couldnÕt seem to control it.  ÒI mean, if I had seen him, what would it matter?Ó

 

RileyÕs eyes narrowed as he watched her carefully.  ÒI didnÕt say youÕd seen him last night. I said he was still walking around, in spite of living in the same town as ÔThe SlayerÕ.Ó  He made air quotes around her title, causing her own narrowed eyes as she waited for him to continue.

 

ÒIt doesnÕt matter – not really. Except that everybody, including your mother and sister, is way too comfortable around him to suit me, and I would have thought--  No one seems to care anymore that heÕs a bloodsucker. Even Xander talks about him like heÕs some distant relative that he got stuck with.Ó

 

ÒXander was stuck with Spike for a while. They wereÉroomiesÉ until Spike got the crypt. I guess they bonded or something. I mean, they argue and say rude things to each other, but I think theyÕd miss it if they didnÕt have each other to insult. ItÕs a guy thing.Ó

 

ÒBonded. With a vampire.Ó

 

ÒHeh,Ó Buffy gave a weak laugh. ÒWell, you know, weÕve had more time to get to knowÉ You know what?Ó she interrupted herself cheerfully.  ÒLetÕs talk about something else. Spike is just soÉsoÉnot interesting.Ó

 

ÒExcept that, according to you, if you wanted a guy with super powers, youÕd be dating Spike. IsnÕt that what you said?  Sounds pretty interesting to me.Ó

 

ÒOh my god, Riley!Ó Guilt lent emphasis to BuffyÕs protestations.  ÒI just pulled his name out of my butt. I was trying to save your life, remember?  Cause you had this stupid idea that I wouldnÕt want you anymore if you didnÕt have all your enhancements.Ó

 

Riley nodded.  ÒRight. And yet, here I am, all unenhanced and you just get more and more distant and less and less interested in spending time with me.Ó

 

Buffy paled.  Resolutely forcing memories of last nightÕs inventive and oh-so-satisfying sex from her mind, she smiled gamely.  ÒSunburn, remember?  But, you know, Slayer healing and all that. I should be fine in a dayÉor two.  Why donÕt we just make it a date? ForÉumÉThursday night?  Thursday night weÕll go out and then weÕll go back to your place and haveÉumÉdo stuff.Ó

 

ÒDo stuff?  I was thinking we might make love,Ó he said slowly, his eyes clouded with suspicion.

 

ÒRight! Make love. ThatÕs the expression I was looking for.  IsnÕt it funny how something can just be right on the tip of your tongue and you just canÕt spit it out?Ó  She beamed at him, wearing her best "IÕm a blondeÓ smile and waited for him to relax.  ÒSo, Thursday, right? Is that okay?Ó

 

ÒI guess itÕll have to be,Ó he agreed. ÒBut today is only Monday. I thought you said youÕd be healed in a day or two?Ó

 

ÒJust trying to be safe,Ó she said quickly.  She was becoming such a good liar. It was amazing, really. ÒYou know, just in case. I donÕt want to be too sore to participate.Ó

 

ÒRight. Well that makes sense, I guess.  How about if I help you patrol tonight? ItÕs been awhile since we did that together, too.Ó

 

ÒPatrol?Ó

 

ÒYes. If you arenÕt at a hundred percent because of that sunburn, you could probably use somebody to watch your back, right?Ó

 

ÒOh. Yes. Right.  GoodÉgood idea.  YouÕll watch my back and IÕll justÉpatrol.Ó

 

ÒYou were planning to, werenÕt you? If you did it last night, l wouldnÕt expect you to skip it tonight.Ó

 

ÒNo. I mean, yes. Of course IÕm planning to patrol. Just like I did last night when I was still doing an imitation of a Buffy lamp.Ó

 

ÒWere you all right?Ó  His genuine concern snapped her out of her memories of the previous nightÕs patrol.  ÒWere you able to slay?Ó

 

ÒWhat?  Oh, yeah. It was okay. Kind of ouchie, but they dusted anyway.Ó

 

ÒSee? You need me. I can do the staking and keep you from being ouchie.Ó

 

ÒHeh.Ó 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Insisting that sheÕd covered Restfield the previous evening, Buffy managed to steer Riley away from anywhere Spike might be lurking.  They went through several of the newer, smaller cemeteries on the other side of town, dusting two fledglings just as they were digging themselves out.  Buffy stood back and let Riley do the honors, watching carefully just in case he was overestimating his current abilities.  However, even without his enhancements, he was a big, strapping man and his stake went through the vampsÕ chests with no problem.

 

ÒDonÕt think I didnÕt notice you watching me,Ó he said as they walked back to his SUV.  ÒDid you think I couldnÕt do it?Ó

 

ÒOf course I knew you could do it,Ó she protested.  ÒItÕs not like I havenÕt seen you stake any vampires sinceÉ I assumed you could; I was really justÉadmiring your technique.Ó

 

ÒI donÕt want you treating me like IÕm helpless,Ó he growled, ignoring the weak compliment.  ÒLike IÕm something you have to protect.  ThatÕs not your job.Ó

 

ÒActually,Ó she said quietly, Òthat is my job, Riley. You know this. IÕm here to protect. You, my friends, total strangers. Anyone whoÕs in danger. I was Chosen to keep people safe.Ó

 

ÒThatÕs a bit grandiose, donÕt you think?Ó he scoffed.  ÒYouÕre a vampire slayer. An interesting job description, but hardly a sacred calling.Ó

 

Buffy shook her head. It was an ongoing argument between them – RileyÕs post-Initiative view of the creatures she fought as just some sort of particularly repulsive animals; and, by extension, his insistence that whatever the Council of Watchers used to provide their slayers with the power necessary to fight vampires and demons, it had to have a scientific explanation.  Nothing heÕd seen or heard about from her or Giles had convinced him differently.

 

While Buffy stared at him with her mouth open, she felt tingles on the back of her neck. She was already slipping her stake into her hand when she recognized the tingles for what they were and relaxed.  She glared in their direction, hoping Spike would get the message to remain out of sight.

 

ÒDumbass!Ó she muttered as the unmistakable bright blond head appeared, heading in their direction.

 

ÒI beg your pardon?Ó 

 

ÒOh, not you, Riley. Sorry! I meant him.Ó She pointed towards the vampire now walking towards them with that rolling strut that he used when he wanted to be intimidating.

 

Buffy put her hands on her hips and glared as Spike strode up to them.

 

ÒSee you brought your own help tonight, Slayer,Ó he said, giving Riley an insolent stare.

 

ÒYes. I have help, thank you,Ó she said through gritted teeth.  ÒWhy donÕt you go back and see what you can find to kill in your own cemetery?Ó

 

ÒIt wasnÕt as much fun there tonight as it was last night,Ó he replied with a smirk. ÒI thought maybe I could find something more to do out here.Ó 

 

ÒBuffy?  What does he mean Ôbrought your own help tonightÕ? And whatÕs with the Ôthank youÕ?  Did you go to him for help last night?Ó

 

ÒNo, Riley. I didnÕt Ôgo to himÕ for help. He just happened to be there when I was fighting some vamps.  You know Spike, he just canÕt resist getting into somebody elseÕs fightÉÓ

 

The look she sent Spike was suddenly less angry and more pleading – ruining completely his plan to drop innuendos until the dense soldier figured out that something had happened between his girl friend and the vampire he hated.  At BuffyÕs silent entreaty, he folded and nodded to her before turning to leave.

 

ÒGood to know youÕve got someone to watch your back tonight, Slayer,Ó he said as he moved away.  ÒTake care of that sunburn.Ó

 

In a few seconds, he had disappeared into the shadows as though heÕd never been there.

 

ÒYou didnÕt tell me youÕd seen Spike last night,Ó Riley said through tight lips, still staring into the direction that the vampire had taken.

 

ÒIt wasnÕt relevant,Ó Buffy sighed.  ÒAnd I knew youÕd just get allÉweirdÉif I told you he helped me out.Ó

 

ÒSo, you lied to me?Ó

 

ÒBy omission, I guess. I just didnÕt want to deal with this.Ó

 

ÒWith ÔthisÕ?Ó

 

ÒYour overreaction any time I mention Spike.Ó

 

ÒSpike. That would be the monster with superpowers that youÕd be dating if thatÕs what you wanted.Ó

 

Buffy rolled her eyes and blew out an explosive breath.

 

ÒAnd there you are.  Making a big deal out of—Ó She stopped, her inability to continue to lie and her guilt at knowing she was lying – more than he could imagine – preventing her from continuing.  ÒIÕm sorry,Ó she said softly.  ÒI just thought it would be better not to mention that I ran into Spike. I didnÕt mean to lie to you.Ó

 

He nodded, then pulled her into a clumsy hug as he leaned against the car.  ÒIÕm sorry, too,Ó he said.  ÒI know IÕm a bit defensive now.  And I really donÕt understand why heÕs still walking around.  IsnÕt that your job? Slaying vampires?Ó

 

ÒNot vampires that are currently harmless, who help me protect my family, and who have even helped me save the world,Ó she said shortly.  RileyÕs one-note speech was really getting old.

 

As if recognizing that heÕd pushed about as far as it would be wise to go, Riley dropped the subject, instead whispering in her ear about how eager he was for it to be Thursday.  When he tried to slide his hands under her shirt, she flinched involuntarily. 

 

ÒOh, IÕm sorry! I forgot all about the sunburn. I didnÕt mean to hurt you.Ó

 

ÒItÕs okay,Ó she mumbled, embarrassed at his misinterpretation of what had happened, but not inclined to correct him.

 

Not that she was sure why she had flinched from his touch on her bare skin – only that his hand was warm and unwelcome.  With a minimum of touching, she managed to get him to say goodnight and to stop insisting on driving her home ÒsafelyÓ. She wasnÕt sure why she no longer wanted to spend all her time with her boyfriend, but she didnÕt want him around while she tried to figure it out. Buffy responded to his lengthy goodnight kiss with as much enthusiasm as she could, then quickly disengaged herself and started walking away before he could restart the argument.

 

ÒGoodnight, Riley,Ó she said, waving and walking faster. 

 

ÒCall me when you get home,Ó he called after her, miming a phone call when she turned to answer him. 

 

 

Chapter Two (2/9)

 

 

She nodded and continued walking.  She was a full two blocks away before the vampire who had been keeping pace with her emerged from the trees and fell into step at her left.

 

ÒIÕm sorry, pet,Ó he said with apparent sincerity.

 

ÒYou oughta be,Ó she muttered.  ÒI spent most of my lunch time today convincing him that youÉand then you show up and tell him you were there last night.  Now he thinks I was lying to him.Ó

 

ÒWere you?Ó

 

ÒWhose side are you on?Ó

 

His full laugh brought a small smile to her face.  ÒDidnÕt know I had to choose one, but if I do, you know itÕs yours. Not that tin soldierÕs.Ó

 

ÒWell, if youÕre on my side, youÕll stop doing things that annoy my boyfriend.Ó 

 

ÒWhy? Annoying the big git is one of the few pleasures left to me, innit? Why would you ask me to give that up?Ó

 

ÒBecause that Ôbig gitÕ could still dust you.  You canÕt fight him, and heÕs still strong and he still knows how to use a stake.Ó

 

ÒWorried about me, are you?Ó  His voice was softer and uncomfortably reminiscent of the heated whispers of the night before.

 

ÒAs if!Ó

 

ÒRight. No problem then.Ó

 

ÒSpikeÉÓ

 

ÒAlright, luv. IÕll be careful.  I was just windinÕ you up.Ó

 

Her sigh of relief didnÕt go unnoticed and he studied her out of the corner of his eye.

 

 ÒIÕm not a fashion expert, but I think I preferred last nightÕs ensemble to this one.Ó

 

Buffy blushed and tugged on her sweatshirt, but refused to look at him or acknowledge the leering laughter in his voice.

 

ÒThat for my benefit?Ó he asked.  ÒCause if so, IÕve got to tell you that covering the goodies isnÕt gonna keep me from wanting them.  Not now that--Ó

 

ÒDonÕt.Ó

 

ÒBuffy—Ó

 

ÒI said ÔDonÕtÕ. DonÕt talk about it. DonÕt think about it.Ó

 

ÒCanÕt do that, pet.  I can try to keep my mouth shut, but not think about it? Not possible.  CanÕt think about anything else.Ó

 

ÒWell try!Ó

 

ÒAre you tryinÕ?Ó

 

ÒYes!Ó

 

ÒAnÕ howÕs that working out for you?Ó

 

ÒJust fine,Ó she said stiffly. ÒIÕve completely forgotten about it.Ó

 

ÒIs that so?Ó  He pivoted in front of her, causing her to run into his chest. Before she could back up, he caught her arms and dipped his head to nuzzle her neck.  ÒProve it.Ó  His lips fastened on hers, refusing to let her ignore them and their softness.  When she surrendered with a small whimper in the back of her throat, he sent his tongue out to meet hers.

 

They kissed until BuffyÕs knees began to give out and the vampire was holding her to his body with a grip that her mind refused to stop comparing to RileyÕs only human arms.  Summoning every scrap of will power she had, Buffy straightened her legs and pushed on his chest until he let her go.

 

ÒBuff—Ó

 

ÒNo.Ó

 

Forcing her recalcitrant knees to cooperate, Buffy stepped out of reach and began backing away.   She avoided looking into SpikeÕs face, grateful for the darkness that made it hard to see the expression on it, as she continued to back away, shaking her head silently.

 

She heard Spike give an explosive sigh; then he said in a more normal voice, ÒAlright, Slayer.  Not gonna beg for it.  Come on, then, IÕll walk you home. Ò

 

ÒIf I didnÕt need Riley take me home, what makes you think I need you to do it?Ó

 

ÒBecause, unlike the enormous Boy Scout, I know you donÕt need me to see you home.  IÕm doing it because I want to spend a little more time with you, not because I think you canÕt take care of yourself.Ó

 

ÒOh.Ó

 

At a loss for any more articulate reply, and unwilling to remind Spike that Riley wanted to spend time with her just as much as he did, Buffy resumed her interrupted walk, taking side streets and strolling through small parks instead of taking the most direct route.  She took great care not to walk close enough to Spike to accidentally brush against him as he paced beside her, providing encouraging commentary when she had to stop and stake two newly turned vampires lurking in one of the parks. 

 

Confident that the stakings justified her decision to take the long way home, Buffy pointed in the direction of Revello Drive and began to walk more briskly. They were silent, each lost in their own thoughts as they hurried through the dimly lit streets.  As they approached her own block, Buffy felt Spike drop back and she turned a questioning look on him.

 

ÒAm I going too fast for you?Ó

 

ÒI think you have company, love.  Looks like a goodnight kiss is out of the question.Ó

 

ÒI wasnÕt planning a goodnight kiss!Ó she huffed.

 

ÒWell, I was,Ó he said, touching her gently in the small of her back.  ÒBut guess somebody else had the same thought.  Goodnight, Slayer.Ó

 

Without another word, he melted away into the shadows, leaving a puzzled but relieved Buffy to continue alone.  As she neared her house, she saw RileyÕs car and realized why Spike had decided not to come all the way with her. 

 

ÒVampire has more sense than my boyfriend does,Ó she muttered, wondering if she could stomp right past RileyÕs car without acknowledging his presence. 

 

Which she might have, if the man in question hadnÕt stepped out and called her by name.  With a sigh, she stopped and turned towards the car, making no attempt to appear glad to see him.

 

ÒWhat is it, Riley?  Is there something wrong?Ó

 

ÒYou mean other than it took you about four times as long to get here as it should have?Ó he muttered. ÒI waited for you to call me, and when you didnÕt, I went looking for you.Ó

 

ÒExcuse me?  Were you timing me?Ó

 

ÒNo,Ó he sighed, tossing something into the car. ÒI wasnÕt timing you, I just know how long it should take to get here and I expected you to call me a good thirty or forty minutes ago.  I was worried about you, Buffy,Ó he finished softly.

 

Biting back the comment she wanted to make about how her nighttime activities didnÕt always allow her to keep to a schedule, she edged closer to the car and peered in to see what Riley had dropped inside. She caught a glimpse of night vision goggles before Riley stepped between her and the car.

 

ÒWere you spying on me too?Ó

 

Unaware of his own motions, Riley flinched back from the small woman glaring at him from the sidewalk.

 

ÒNo. I always have those with me. I just used them to look down the street. I thought I saw something following you—Ó

 

ÒAnd what did you see?Ó

 

ÒNothing,Ó he admitted.  ÒWhatever it was, it must have realized you were the Slayer and changed its mind.Ó

 

ÒProbably a good decision,Ó she said. ÒIÕm not really in the mood for having my progress towards my bed interrupted.Ó  She put her hands on her hips. ÒWhich brings us back to – what are you doing here?Ó

 

ÒIÉ I just thoughtÉI wanted to be sure that youÉ  Why do I have to explain why I might be worried about you? YouÕre my girlfriend. You know, the girl whoÕs supposed to enjoy my company?Ó

 

Even as her conscience told her that she was being a bitch and unreasonable, Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes.

 

ÒRileyÉIÕm the Slayer.  I could walk to the store for milk and end up taking two days if I run into a... a mini-apocalypse or something.  I know you mean well.  And I understand that you worry, and I think itÕs sweet. I do. But I canÕt live my life trying to remember not to do things that are going to make you worry.  I would have called you as soon as I got in. I swear.Ó

 

ÒSo, taking so long to get home had nothing to do with Spike?  You didnÕt stop to see him on the way home?Ó

 

Buffy stared at him, only the knowledge that to deny it would be only technically the truth kept her mouth shut. Instead, she tried to reason with him.

 

ÒRiley, about SpikeÉÓ She sighed and rubbed her upper arms.  ÒThe thing isÉÓ

 

ÒThe thing is, youÕve been spending more time around him than you do me. You canÕt possibly need his help that often.Ó

 

Buffy rolled her eyes and carefully avoided responding to his blatant jealousy.

 

ÒWhat I was going to say,Ó she said through tightly clenched teeth, Òis that with this Glory skank looking for her long lost key all over the place, I need the extra backup.  SheÕd never think to look in SpikeÕs crypt for my mom or Dawn, and if she does, heÕs probably strong enough to stall her until they can get away.Ó

 

ÒAnd you trust him to do that for you?  Are you crazy? HeÕs a vampire! He canÕt be trusted. That chip is the only thing keeping him from tearing their throats out.Ó

 

Buffy shrugged and shook her head.  ÒSpikeÕs never lied to me or broken a promise. And heÕs never tried to hurt my mom or sister – even though I never had his invitation revoked.  I donÕt think heÕd hurt them, chip or no chip.Ó

 

ÒHe kills slayers! IsnÕt that what you told me? That heÕs known as Ôthe slayer of slayersÕ? And yet you trust him to protect your family.Ó His voice dripped disbelief.

 

Buffy squirmed uncomfortably.  ÒWell, yeah, he doesÉ he hasÉ killed two slayers. But he likes to do it in a fair fight.  HeÕs not going to come at me through my family like An—"She coughed. ÒAnother vampire might.Ó

 

ÒHave you forgotten that when he thought he had the chip out, he tried to bite you?Ó

 

Buffy flushed as she remembered how it felt to have SpikeÕs body pinning her the floor while his fangs grazed her throat. 

 

ÒThat would have been a fair fight.  I never said he didnÕt want to fight me anymore.  I said he wouldnÕt come at me through my family. HeÉhe likes my mom and Dawn.  And they like him.  ItÕs got nothing to do with Slayer/vampire stuff.Ó

 

ÒI think he wants you. ThatÕs why heÕs helping. If he can't have you one way, he'll have you another. ThatÕs why he isnÕt trying to find ways to kill you. I canÕt believe you canÕt see it.Ó

 

ÒRiley—Ò Buffy bit her lip and tried not think about how sheÕd reacted earlier to SpikeÕs kiss.  ÒThisÉthis helping isnÕt anything but another truce between us.  He gets an outlet for his violence, and I get backup muscle.  ItÕs nothing but a business arrangement.Ó  

 

ÒWell, I donÕt like it. Business or not, IÕm just as capable of helping you as he is.Ó

 

Buffy opened and shut her mouth, shook her head in disbelief, turned wordlessly and walked to her front door.  She opened the door and slammed it behind her without acknowledging RileyÕs presence again.  She gave her sleepy mother an apologetic wave as Joyce peered out to see what had made the loud noise.

 

ÒSorry, Mom,Ó she whispered.  ÒHow do you feel?Ó

 

ÒI feel fine, Buffy. I told you, the headaches are gone.  Is that RileyÕs car out there?Ó

 

ÒYeah.Ó

 

ÒDid he bring you home? That was nice of him.Ó

 

ÒHe did not bring me home – he was spying on me to see how long I was going to take to get home from where I told him goodnight.Ó 

 

ÒOh.  Why would he do that?Ó

 

ÒBecause heÕs an insecure jerk?  I donÕt know, but if he keeps it up I may just make sure he does see something he doesnÕt want to.Ó  BuffyÕs voice trailed off to an angry mutter as she joined her mother at the top of the stairs.

 

ÒMeaning that he might have seen something?Ó Joyce said, giving Buffy a shrewd look.  ÒWhat might have he seen?  Spike?Ó  With a laugh, Joyce turned away from her speechless daughter and went into her bedroom.

 

  ÒGoodnight, Buffy,Ó her voice floated back as the door closed on the still-frozen slayer.

 

 

Chapter Three (3/9)

 

Wearing more normal clothes than the baggy sweats of the night before, Buffy left to patrol the following evening, telling her laughing mother that if Riley parked in front of the house again she should call the police on him.

 

ÒYou donÕt mean that, Buffy,Ó Joyce said with an understanding smile.

 

ÒThe hell I donÕt,Ó Buffy muttered, stuffing her stakes into pockets and her waistband.  She pulled her hair into a business-like ponytail and grabbed a light jacket.  ÒDonÕt wait up.Ó

 

ÒAll right. Goodnight, honey.  Say ÔhiÕ to Spike for me, please.Ó At BuffyÕs thunderous look, she amended, ÒIf you see him of course.Ó

 

ÒYou think youÕre smart, donÕt you?Ó Buffy said, trying not to return her motherÕs smile. 

 

ÒI think IÕm more than capable of reading a vampireÕs face – at least one that IÕve known as long as IÕve know Spike.  HeÕs interested in you, and if youÕre giving him any sort of encouragementÉÓ

 

I wonder if having sex with him in his crypt could be considered encouragement?

 

Aloud, she said, ÒItÕs complicated, Mom.  I need him right now.  For some reason, Riley doesnÕt get that.  That Spike is the only one, other than me, who is strong enough to slow Glory down.Ó

 

ÒWell, if thatÕs all it is, I think you need to be very clear about it with Spike. I like him, and I really would hate to see him get hurt.Ó

 

ÒOh, me too, Mom.  ThatÕs why I want to keep Riley away from him, and–Ó

 

ÒBuffy,Ó her mother said gently, ÒI meant hurt by you.  If he thinks he has a reason to hope forÉmore than your gratitude.Ó

 

Buffy had no response to that.  Worrying about hurting the feelings of a vampire was just not something that had ever been on her radar. She nodded ambiguously and waved her hand as she went out the door.

 

She sent a quick glance up and down the street, wondering if Riley would be stubborn enough to show up again.  When she saw no sign of him, she began to walk in the direction of Restfield cemetery, telling herself that she hadnÕt been there for two nights and if she happened to see Spike, and if he wanted to offer some extra muscle in case she ran into Glory or her minionsÉ

 

Two fledglings and a small demon that ran off later, she was sure the area was clear and she still hadnÕt seen Spike.  Not that she was really looking for him. Or actually wanted to see him. Or had any intention of repeating the huge mistake of a few nights agoÉ

 

Shaking off the disappointment that she refused to acknowledge, she left Restfield and headed for the next cemetery on her rounds for the evening.  Unlike RileyÕs former comrades, she didnÕt follow a regular route when she patrolled, preferring to mix it up so that fledglings lucky enough to have had someone planning to wait for them to rise would find nothing but dust when they finally crawled out of their graves. 

 

The unmistakable sounds of conflict coming from the far end of Sunset Hills sent her running in that direction, stake in hand.  She skidded to a stop when she saw what had been making the noise.  Spike was on the ground, holding his head and moaning while Riley stood over him and snarled, ÒDonÕt think youÕre fooling me, Spike.  Buffy might think youÕre just helping her out of the kindness of your heart, but I know better.  If you want to stay undead, I suggest you find somebody elseÕs girlfriend to ÔhelpÕ.  Buffy doesnÕt need you.Ó

 

He followed up his tirade with a well-placed kick to SpikeÕs side, one that would surely have broken ribs and perhaps even been fatal to a human.

 

ÒBuffy does need him,Ó she said into the brief silence.  ÒAnd even if she didnÕt, that would be no excuse for you to beat up on somebody who canÕt fight back.Ó

 

Riley looked up, surprise and guilt fighting with the anger still visible on his face.

 

ÒThis isnÕt a ÔsomebodyÕ, Buffy, itÕs a something. And the sooner you and your Scoobies realize thatÉÓ

 

ÒGo home, Riley,Ó she said quietly.  ÒAnd let me worry about what my friends and I realize.Ó

 

ÒBut, heÉ he attacked me!Ó Riley blustered.  ÒHe just came out of nowhere and...Ó

 

ÒAnd deliberately set off that chip so that heÕd be on his knees and helpless when you retaliated?  Try again, Riley. Even Spike isnÕt that impulsive.Ó

 

ÒSo, youÕre choosing him over me, huh? I was right.Ó

 

ÒIÕm choosing to stop you from hurting him.  If that means IÕm choosing SpikeÕs welfare over your need to boost your ego by beating him up, then, yeah, I guess I am.Ó

 

ÒFine,Ó he snorted. ÒTake care of your pet vampire and send your boyfriend away.  But donÕt expect me to take this kind of crap forever, Buffy.Ó

 

Speechless, Buffy just gaped at the oblivious man.  Was he just threatening to break up with her?  Did he have no idea how close she was to dumping him right on the spot?

 

A wet cough from Spike brought BuffyÕs attention back to him and she gave a little cry as she noticed the dark stain on his mouth.  SheÕd been a slayer long enough to recognize blood when she saw it, no matter how dark the night.  She knelt down beside him, and gently forced him to lie down so that she could go over his body.  The jagged edges of several broken ribs protruded through the skin and it didnÕt take a medical degree to figure out that the other ends had probably punctured his lungs.

 

ÒGood thing you donÕt have to breathe,Ó she muttered. ÒA human would probably be dead by now.Ó

 

She rolled him over carefully and ran her hands over his back, wincing when she felt the spasming muscle where RileyÕs booted foot had connected with his back, just missing his spine.

 

ÒDo you think you can stand? I donÕt think I can carry you without hurting you more.Ó

 

ÒGive us a minute, pet, and IÕll try.Ó He gasped.  ÒI think I can. He hadnÕt got to my legs yet.Ó  He stopped speaking and Buffy remembered that his lungs were probably full of pieces of broken rib.

 

ÒYet?  You mean that wasnÕt the first kick?Ó

 

He shook his head dumbly. Using her arm as his support, he pulled himself to a sitting position, wincing with pain as he did so.  He paused there; then with a small nod he allowed her to help him get to his feet.  He stood for a minute, swaying slightly before he straightened up.  They began walking slowly towards the gate, Buffy doing her best to support him without putting pressure on any of his broken or bruised areas. 

 

Just as they reached the gate, they heard raised voices.  Buffy left Spike propped against a tree and went to investigate, finding Xander and Riley deep in conversation.  She bit her lip, shrugged, and slipped behind a stone gatepost to listen.

 

ÒIÕm telling you, Xander, heÕs not chipped anymore.  He attacked me. I barely got away." Riley waved his arms around for emphasis.  "And I know heÕs looking for Buffy.  We have to stop him before he gets to her; she trusts him too much andÉÓ

 

ÒYeah, I get all that, big guy, but killing Buffy?  I just donÕt see it happening – and not just because she can kick his ass.Ó

 

ÒHeÕs a dangerous killer!Ó

 

ÒWhoÕs never killed anybody Buffy cares about.  I just donÕt see it, man.  I donÕt feel right about staking him without talking to her first.Ó

 

ÒAre you going to make me do this myself?Ó

 

ÒWellÉyeahÉgood point. YouÕre the big Army guy. Why do you need me?Ó

 

ÒHe trusts you.  HeÕll let you get closeÉhe wouldnÕt do that with me. HeÕd run away or something.Ó

 

Xander frowned.

 

ÒSee, thereÕs another thing. I just canÕt picture Spike running away from anybody if his chip isnÕt working – especially, you. No offense, but heÕs got reason to hate you.Ó  He stopped talking and gave an embarrassed shrug.

 

ÒAre you crazy? Do you hear yourself?  This is Hostile Seventeen weÕre talking about – Spike, William the Bloody.  HeÕd kill me in a heartbeat.Ó

 

ÒMaybeÉÓ Xander seemed dubious. ÒI donÕt know, man.  I just think IÕd better talk to Buffy first.Ó

 

ÒWe donÕt have time.  He should be back in his crypt pretty soon.  We need to do it now. Trust me, Buffy will thank you.Ó

 

ÒTrust me, she wonÕt.Ó

 

Both men spun around at the sound of the SlayerÕs voice.  Without taking her eyes off Riley, she gestured behind her.

 

ÒXander, will you go get Spike, please? HeÕs just back there.  HeÕll need some help,Ó she added as he walked past her without question.

 

ÒBuffyÉÓ Riley thought frantically, trying to figure out how much Buffy might have heard.

 

ÒDonÕt talk to me.  I can barely look at you right now. I definitely donÕt want to talk to you.Ó  Suddenly the angry slayer was gone and a bewildered girl was in her place.  Her eyes blinking back tears, she whispered, ÒHow could I have so misjudged you?  I thought you wereÉÓ

 

She shook her head as Xander and Spike made their way slowly out the gate and over to XanderÕs truck, turning her back on Riley and hurrying to help Xander get Spike into the bed of the pickup.  With the aid of a street lamp, Buffy could now see that SpikeÕs face was a mass of bruises, indicating that Riley had been working on him for some time before she interrupted the one-sided fight.  She shot one final glare over her shoulder, and then climbed up beside the injured vampire.

 

ÒTake us to my house, please, Xander,Ó she said, sliding behind Spike and putting his head on her lap.

 

He raised his eyebrows, but nodded and closed the tailgate, walking around to the driverÕs side.  Before opening the door, he sent Riley a puzzled, disappointed look, then got in and drove off leaving the ex-Initiative soldier standing on the sidewalk.

 

Xander drove slowly and carefully, occasionally peering in his rearview mirror to see Buffy leaning over, apparently talking to Spike.  As much as he thought he disliked the vampire, he found himself feeling slightly sick about what it seemed Riley had done to him.  Obviously Riley had lied about the chip not working; had that been the case, the ex-commando would be drained and dead now.  Or, at a minimum, as he remembered what heÕd told Riley about SpikeÕs unwillingness to kill anyone Buffy cared about, it wouldnÕt have been the vampire with the bruises and broken bones.

 

When they got to BuffyÕs house, they repeated their motions in reverse – sliding Spike from the truck bed and doing their best to support him without pressing against any of his broken ribs.  He stood unsteadily beside Xander while Buffy opened the door and waved them in.  Joyce, who had just been on her way upstairs to bed, took one look at the battered vampire and pointed to the living room.

 

ÒPut him on the couch,Ó she said.  ÒIÕll get the first aid kit.Ó 

 

As the mother of the Slayer, JoyceÕs first aid kit was a little more elaborate than one might normally find in a suburban kitchen.  In addition to the usual gauze, bandages and ointments, it had splints, athletic tape - even a small suturing kit.

 

She handed Buffy the kit and went back to the kitchen for hot water and towels, returning with a basin of water and some clean dishcloths.  While Xander watched, unconsciously flexing his fists as SpikeÕs injuries became more visible, Buffy carefully cut off his tee shirt, exposing the jagged bones pushing through the pale skin in several places. 

 

After seeing blood every time SpikeÕs attempts to talk turned into wet coughs, Buffy shushed him sternly.  Joyce moved to his head and took one hand in hers, allowing him to squeeze when BuffyÕs attempts to push the ribs back into place caused him more pain than he could hide.  She stopped in frustration, unable to keep them flattened down long enough to get tape around his chest. Finally, Xander stepped timidly forward.

 

ÒJust let meÉÓ He nudged Joyce to one side and gently pulled both of SpikeÕs hands over his head, stretching out the battered chest and allowing the ribs to slide back into place.  ÒSorry, Spike,Ó he mumbled when the involuntary gasp that accompanied his motions escaped the vampireÕs mouth.

 

With Spike stretched out so that he was flat from hip to shoulder, Buffy could more easily move the ribs back into place.  She picked up the tape, then sighed.

 

ÒHeÕs going to have to sit up, Xan,Ó she said with an apologetic look at Spike.  He gave her a short nod and braced himself as all three humans helped him get upright, Xander still holding his arms up so that Buffy could wrap his ribs in layers of soft gauze and tape.  When she was done, they lowered him to a horizontal position again and she went to work cleaning up the cuts and bruises on his face.

 

The whole time she worked on him, she kept her eyes turned away from his – unwilling to see the dawning emotion she could almost feel pouring off him.  Joyce and Xander had stepped back, their help no longer needed as Buffy quickly washed off the blood and placed cold packs on his cheek and head.  Still without speaking or looking directly into SpikeÕs eyes, Buffy stood up and carried the bloody water and cloths to the kitchen. 

 

In the living room, Spike had closed his eyes; without any chest movement to give it away, Joyce and Xander had no idea if he was awake and conscious, or completely out of it.

 

ÒHe looks dead,Ó Joyce whispered.

 

ÒUm, yeah, kinda the description of a vampire. Living dead? Ringing any horror movie bells?Ó

 

She flushed and nodded.  ÒI knew that,Ó she insisted. ÒItÕs just that Spike is always soÉso vibrant.Ó

 

ÒYeah, he is surprisingly quiet for somebody who lives to annoy,Ó Xander agreed, grinning when he noticed SpikeÕs irritated twitch.

 

ÒDo you think heÕs going to be all right?Ó

 

ÒOh yeah.  BuffyÕll get him the blood of some poor pig and heÕll be fine in a day or so. Vamps heal really fast – even harmless, ineffectual, weak onesÉÓ

 

ÒI can hear you, you know,Ó Spike managed to get out before coughing again.

 

ÒI know,Ó Xander said with great satisfaction. ÒBut you canÕt do anything about it without coughing and making Buffy yell at you.  ItÕs kind of a win-win for me.Ó

 

Just as heÕd predicted, Buffy came back in the room just in time to hear Spike coughing up more blood as he attempted verbal retaliation.  While Buffy scolded and grumbled, Xander grinned at the glaring vampire, making rude gestures behind BuffyÕs back until Joyce stopped him.

 

ÒXander! IÕm ashamed of you. Taking advantage of SpikeÕs condition like that!Ó

 

Doing his best to appear sorry, Xander apologized.  ÒSorry, Mrs Summers. It isnÕt that often I get a chance to pick on the evil undead there without having to listen to him talk back.Ó  He stretched and started towards the door.  ÒBut now that heÕs all safe and sound here, I guess IÕd better get home before Anya sends out a search party.Ó

 

ÒThanks, Xan,Ó Buffy said, walking to the door with him and giving him a brief hug. ÒI donÕt know what I would have done without you and your truck.Ó

 

ÒNo problem, Buffy.  IÕm just ÉI donÕt get Riley. ThatÕs not like him.Ó

 

ÒI wouldnÕt have thought so either,Ó Buffy said, sadness flickering across her face.  ÒBut itÕs not just what he did to Spike, itÕs what he was trying to get you to do. The way he lied, andÉÓ She shook herself.  ÒI guess IÕll worry about that tomorrow. Right now I need to get some blood into Spike.Ó

 

He nodded.  ÒSee ya, Buffy, so long Mrs Summers.Ó  He hesitated, then called out, ÒTry not to run into any more fists, fangface.Ó

 

By the time Buffy had closed the door on Xander, Joyce had already been to the kitchen and back with a mug of warmed pigs blood.  Buffy took it from her hand, bending the straw so that Spike could reach it without sitting up again.

 

ÒGo to bed, Mom. IÕll take care of this.  You need your sleep.Ó

 

ÒAll right, honey. If youÕre sureÉÓ

 

ÒWeÕll be fine.  YouÕll be amazed when you get up tomorrow to see how recovered Spike is. I promise.  Go on. Go to bed.Ó

 

With a grateful nod, and a pat to the top of SpikeÕs head, Joyce walked out and climbed the stairs to her bedroom, too tired to worry about what she had just learned about BuffyÕs boyfriend and his capacity for cruelty and violence.

 

 

 

Chapter Four (4/9)

 

Buffy held the cup close to SpikeÕs mouth, guiding the straw through his lips and watching while he pulled deep draughts of blood into his depleted body.  She had a flashback to the year before when he had first come to them with his chip and she had teased him unmercifully while feeding him in a similar fashion.  Their relationship had certainly changed since then.  A quick glance at his face told her that he was remembering the same thing.  He dropped his head back onto the small pillow under it and attempted a smile.

 

ÒJusÕ like old times, eh, pet?Ó he managed to say before Buffy shushed him again.

 

ÒBe quiet.  The less you move around and talk, the faster youÕll heal.Ó

 

He gave a very small nod, barely moving his head, then, ignoring her instructions he said, ÒDonÕt know why youÕre doing this, Slayer, but I appreciate it.  You couldÕve just taken me back to my crypt andÉÓ

 

ÒI wouldnÕt do that to you,Ó she mumbled, still not meeting his gaze. ÒThis is my fault.Ó

 

ÒDonÕt be stupid,Ó he said shortly. ÒNot a one of these bruises bears the mark of your little fists or feet. The big git is just using me to make himself feel better about beinÕ normal again.Ó

 

ÒThatÕs not true and you know it.  He did it because of meÉbecause he thinks youÉthat IÉÓ She stopped and blushed.  ÒAnd he doesnÕt even know aboutÉÓ She sighed.  ÒI guess I should have just gone ahead and slept with him last night – then he wouldnÕt be so—Ó

 

A bloodcurdling snarl burst from the vampireÕs throat, bringing on another bout of coughing, this time without blood.  Buffy shrank back in surprise, until she saw the expression on his face.  She blushed again.

 

ÒI didnÕt mean that like it sounded. IÕm not going toÉtoÉÓ

 

ÒYouÕre not going to shag that big git just to protect me,Ó he growled out around his coughs.  ÒIÕll let him kill me first.Ó

 

ÒHe almost did,Ó she reminded him, pushing him back down and lightly resting her hand on his shoulder.  ÒBut thatÕs not what I meant.  I just meant that if I hadnÕt turned him down and told him I was still too sore, he never would have known that I saw you and he wouldnÕt have had anything to get all jealous and insecure about.Ó

 

ÒWhy didnÕt you, then? I know you werenÕt too sore by last night.Ó His eyes were full of something that looked uncomfortably like hope.

 

ÒI didnÕt want to,Ó she responded shortly.  ÒAnd thatÕs all you need to know. This is my business. Mine and RileyÕs. Not yours.Ó

 

ÒBuffyÉÓ

 

ÒNo. WeÕre not discussing this. I told you. You need to stop thinking about it. It was just one of thoseÉit was just a...thing.  AÉaÉmoment of weakness brought on by too much sun.  ThatÕs it.  I got too much sun and it affected my brain. But IÕm all better now,Ó she finished cheerily, refusing to look at him.

 

ÒIÕm not,Ó he said flatly.  ÒNot sure I ever will be.Ó

 

ÒSure you will.Ó She deliberately chose to misunderstand.  ÒBy this time tomorrow, youÕll be way better.  IÕll get you some of the good stuff from WillyÕs tomorrow and you—Ó

 

ÒNot what I meant and you know it, Slayer.Ó  Already his voice was stronger and he was no longer coughing with every intake of air.

 

ÒWhy are you making this so hard?Ó she moaned, sliding onto the floor and banging her head against the couch with a plaintive,  ÒCanÕt we just forget about it?Ó

 

ÒIs that really what you want to do, love?Ó  He brought one hand across to stroke her head awkwardly.  ÒDo you really want to forget it?   Was it that bad?Ó

 

Buffy turned her head and took an annoyed bite of his shoulder, getting a moan instead of the expected wince.  Before she could say anything, he purred, ÒLittle word of advice, pet. If you want to punish a vampire? Biting him probably isnÕt the best way to do it.Ó  When she just huffed and sat up, he continued, ÒIs that your answer?Ó

 

ÒIt might be,Ó she grumbled. 

 

When there was no reply, she dropped her head back onto the couch cushion.  Once again, his hand began to stroke her head and she allowed herself several minutes to just enjoy the soothing motion.

 

ÒIt wasnÕt bad,Ó she mumbled finally, keeping her face carefully buried in the front of the couch.  ÒIf I thought it was bad, this would be a lot easier.Ó

 

ÒWhat would be easier?Ó

 

ÒTelling you itÕs never going to happen again.Ó

 

The hand stopped, then started up again, more slowly this time.

 

ÒNever Ôs a long time, Buffy,Ó he said without inflection.

 

ÒSpike, IÕm notÉI donÕt Éand if he found outÉIÕm trying to protect you, you stupid vampire!Ó

 

ÒDonÕt want protection; want you.Ó

 

ÒShut up.Ó

 

ÒMake me,Ó he whispered, tugging on her chin until she rose to her knees and looked him in the eye for the first time since theyÕd locked glances in the cemetery.

 

Buffy whimpered, staring back at him, her mouth only a few inches from his swollen lips. SpikeÕs hand on the back of her neck tried to pull her closer, but she shook her head and sat back on her heels.

 

ÒYouÕre not going to let this be easy, are you?Ó

 

ÒNot even gonna try to make it easy, pet.  If you want me out of your life, youÕre gonna have to stake me.Ó

 

ÒI donÕt want you out of my life – and I cannot believe I just said that—Ó She shook her head again and sighed.  ÒYes, I can.  I donÕt want you out of my life. And not just because I need you for help sometimes. IÉmy mom likes you, and Dawn has a stupid crush on you, andÉsometimesÉ I like you.Ó

 

ÒI like you, too, luv.  But not sure I can do the back-up muscle, undead hanger-on thing if thatÕs what youÕre saying you want. Not now. Now that I know how it feels to have you—Ó

 

ÒYou have to!Ó she exploded at him.  ÒI canÕt keep lying to Riley about you.Ó

 

ÒSoÉÓ He kept his voice deliberately light, but she had no trouble hearing the underlying anger and pain. ÒThis little bit of payback wasnÕt a deal-breaker for you, eh, Slayer?  WhatÕs the plan, then?  A bit of yelling, couple of days with no shagging and then all is well in paradise?Ó

 

She stared at him, accepting the justified sense of betrayal that she could plainly read on his face and in his eyes.  She allowed her own sorrow and regret to show for a minute, then turned away.  Without saying anything, she picked up the mug and carried it to the kitchen, washing it out carefully before putting it on the side to drain.  She remained standing at the sink, lost in thoughts of the close-to-normal life she could have with Riley, versus the risks of getting into a relationship with another vampire.  A noise from the living room brought her head around and she rushed back to find Spike struggling to stand up.

 

ÒYou idiot!Ó she snapped, catching him just before he collapsed.  Her sudden grab to keep him from falling pulled on his ribs and he fell against her with a moan.

 

ÒOh god, IÕm sorry!  I didnÕt mean to grab you there.  Did they move?Ó 

 

Holding him up with one arm, she frantically felt along his taped sides. Spike shook his head, taking shallow panting breaths that made it obvious how painful it still was to breathe and speak.

 

ÒDonÕt talk,Ó she ordered, helping him lower himself to the couch. ÒI donÕt know what you were thinking, trying to get up like that.  YouÕd think you—Ó

 

ÒWas thinking IÕd get out of your hair before your boytoy shows up and jumps to any more conclusions that might result in my dusty demise.Ó  His voice came out in gasps and whispers; he refused to stop trying to speak, in spite of BuffyÕs frantic shushing motions.  ÒOr does anything else that might interfere with your little delusion that you could ever be content with a normal human.Ó

 

Eyes wide, Buffy stared at him. 

 

ÒWhat else would I be content with?Ó

 

 ÒDo you think itÕs a coincidence that your first boyfriend was a vampire, Slayer? Or that you let another vampire make love to you while you were supposed to belong to a human man?Ó

 

ÒWhat are you saying?Ó she whispered, shaking her head ÔnoÕ even as he continued his painful speech.

 

ÒIÕm saying, Buffy, that youÕre not an ordinary girl.  Human, yeah, but more than.  WhateverÕs in you, gives you all that power and killing instinct, itÕs not meant for mere mortals.  Takes somebody who can match you.  Meet you on your own level.  Somebody who appreciates what you are and loves you for itÉnot in spite of it.Ó

 

Her head whirling, Buffy tried to deny what he was saying – telling herself it was just a coincidence that Angel had been a vampire; that Riley had been a physically enhanced demon-killing commando when she met him; that Spike had always appealed to her on a very basic level – even when heÕd been trying to kill her.  His voice had trailed off, leaving just the sounds of his occasional shallow panting, while Buffy tried to analyze what heÕd said.

 

Wait! Had he just said he loved her?  She raised her eyes, but his were shut, his lips pressed together tightly as he fought off the waves of pain from his already knitting bones.  She shrugged and got to her feet, walking to the kitchen in a stupor and getting out a package of frozen peas.  Still lost in thought, she returned to the couch and carefully slid the peas under his back, feeling around with her fingers until she found the spot where RileyÕs foot had left the huge bruise and damaged muscle.

 

SpikeÕs eyes remained shut and he didnÕt speak again while she took off his boots and lifted his legs onto the couch.  She covered him with a throw and carefully checked the drapes to be sure that the morning sun would not catch him with its rays.  At a loss for what else she could do to make him more comfortable, she trailed her fingers across the top of his head and whispered, ÒGood night, Spike.Ó

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She rose early the next morning, joining her mother in the kitchen after checking to see that Spike was still on the couch and bearing an uncomfortable resemblance to the corpse that she had to keep reminding herself he actually was.  SheÕd fiddled with the drapes for a second, but when he didnÕt stir, she went into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee.

 

ÒHowÕs the patient?Ó Joyce asked. 

 

Buffy shrugged. ÒI donÕt know, heÕs still asleep, I guess.  IÕll warm up some blood for him before I go to class.  Are you going in again today?Ó

 

ÒYes, of course I am.  The doctors assured me that IÕm fine now, and IÕm stronger every day. No excuses not to go to work.Ó

 

ÒJust take it easy, okay?  One patient at a time is all Nurse Buffy can handle.Ó

 

Joyce smiled fondly at her oldest daughter. 

 

ÒIÕll be careful, honey.  IÕm already planning to have a nap in my office if I get tired during the day.  But I really canÕt run a business from my bedroom.  I need to be there.Ó

 

ÒI know. ItÕs okay. I just worry about you.Ó

 

ÒWelcome to my world,Ó Joyce said with a wry smile as she stood up and carried her plate to the sink.  ÒOne daughterÕs the Slayer, and the other isÉGood morning, Dawn.Ó

 

ÒWhy is Spike on the couch? And why does his face look like dogfood?Ó

 

ÒEwwww, Dawn!Ó

 

ÒSpike was injured last night,Ó Joyce said while Buffy made faces about her sisterÕs description of SpikeÕs battered face.  ÒBuffy and Xander brought him back here for a little nursing care before he goes back to his crypt.Ó 

 

She looked at Buffy for verification that she would not want Dawn to know who had done the damage to the youngest SummersÕ favorite vampire.  Buffy nodded her thanks and went to get the last of the blood out of the refrigerator.

 

ÒShould I get more of that on my way home?Ó Joyce asked.

 

Buffy bit her lip, then nodded.  ÒI guess so.  Even if he goes home tonight, itÕs good to have some here when we need it.Ó

 

As they waited for the microwave to ding, Dawn went through the motions of getting her cereal out.  She finally could stand it no longer.

 

ÒSo, what was it?  Was it Glory? One of her scabby minions? What did that to him, and did you slay it?Ó

 

ÒIÕm handling it,Ó Buffy responded noncommittally, pouring the blood into SpikeÕs mug and finding a new straw.  She didnÕt respond to DawnÕs indignant, ÒYouÕre handling it?Óbut carried the mug of warm blood into the living room where she found Spike peering at her through barely open eyes.

 

ÒHi,Ó she said softly.  ÒHow do you feel this morning?Ó

 

ÒBit better,Ó he responded, wincing as he sat up under his own power.  He shifted into game face involuntarily as the scent of warm blood filled his nostrils.  ÒThat for me?Ó

 

ÒI can't think of anybody else in this house with such disgusting eating habits,Ó Buffy said, handing him the mug.

 

ÒIs that any way to talk to your patient?Ó

 

When she didnÕt respond, he took the straw between his lips and licked it off, then titled the mug up and gulped down the blood without pausing. Buffy watched him with interest, her head tilted to one side.

 

ÒIÕll bet you win a lot of chugalug contests –with the whole no need to breathe thing going for you.Ó

 

ÒBeen know to make a bit of dosh like that,Ó he agreed with a smile. He licked his lips and leered at her.  ÒThere are other things I can do better than most – what with not needing to breathe while I—Ó

 

ÒDawn!Ó Buffy interrupted as her sister came into the room.  ÒLook, Spike, DawnÕs coming to see how you feel. Look, Dawn, Spike's awake and feeling better.Ó

 

ÒYou look like crap,Ó Dawn said bluntly, giving her sister a suspicious frown.  ÒWhat happened to you?Ó

 

He gave Buffy a glance and when he saw the silent plea in her eyes, he sighed in resignation.

 

ÒNot really sure, Nibblet.  Guess I was knocked out.  Just a good thing for me that your sis and Harris came along.Ó

 

ÒYou are such a lousy liar,Ó Dawn said, rolling her eyes.  ÒBut I have to get to school. IÕll worm it out of you later.Ó

 

She flounced upstairs, leaving Buffy and Spike to enjoy an uncomfortable silence.

 

ÒI tried, pet.Ó

 

ÒI know. ItÕs not your fault youÕre such a lousy liar.  YouÕd think somebody who spent his life being evil would be better at it.Ó

 

ÒYouÕd think someone who is HeavenÕs Chosen One wouldnÕt have to do so much of it,Ó he retaliated.

 

ÒI donÕt want her to know that Riley did this.  At least not right now.Ó She gave him a small smile. ÒThanks for lying for me.Ó

 

ÒAny time, Slayer.Ó

 

There was another uncomfortable silence while Buffy remembered his words from the night before and Spike waited for some sign from her that he should leave.  Fortunately, Dawn came clattering back downstairs, grabbed her books and ran out the door with a ÒSee you guys laterÓ.

 

Buffy went back to the kitchen to hover until Joyce sternly ordered her to go back into the living room and Òtake care of the injured personÓ.  Reminding Buffy that the doctors had told her she was completely well, Joyce picked up her purse and keys, letting herself out the back door with a wave.  Buffy watched out the window as her mother got in the big SUV and backed it out of the driveway.

 

 As soon as she could no longer see the car, she began to put the morning dishes in the dishwasher.  She puttered around the kitchen, cleaning surfaces that she normally didnÕt even notice, even sweeping the floor with a broom.  It wasn't until she was reaching for the mop that she admitted to herself she was just avoiding Spike and the questions he was raising in her mind.  With a sigh, she put the cleaning tools away and poured herself a cup of coffee to take into the other room with her.

 

 

Chapter Five (5/9)

 

Buffy sank into the chair next to the couch, sipping her coffee and frowning into the cup.  After a few deep swallows, she leaned her head back on the chair and kicked her fuzzy slippers off so as to curl her feet under her. 

 

ÒTired, love?Ó

 

ÒA little.  IÕd go back to bed but IÕve got a class later this morning and I probably should try to actually show up for it.Ó

 

ÒYou know, when I was a lad, not showing up for lessons could get you a good caning.Ó

 

She rolled her head towards him.

 

ÒBet you got a lot of those, huh?Ó

 

His expression darkened a bit.  ÒGot my share,Ó he said tersely, then changed the subject.  ÒThink you could get this tape off me, pet?  The ribs are knitting and itÕs starting to itch.Ó

 

She eyed him dubiously. ÒAre you sure? WouldnÕt it be better to keep them wrapped?Ó

 

He shook his head. ÒYou got them back into place. All I need to do is not fall on a rock or something and theyÕll be fine by tonight.Ó

 

ÒOkay.  Stand up, then.Ó  She let him steady himself on her shoulder until he was on his feet and not swaying, then she reached for the end of the tape.

 

ÒHow do you want it?Ó

 

ÒAny way you want to give it to me.Ó

 

She flushed, saying sternly,  ÒDo you want me to pull it off fast and hard, or slow and steady?Ó

 

ÒHmmmmm. Do I want it fast and hard, or slow and steadyÉmight need to think about that for a while. They both have some appeal.  What about you, Slayer? Which would you prefer?Ó

 

Instead of answering him, she took the end of the tape and pulled it hard, smiling innocently at his pained hiss.  As soon as she had the tape free of his skin, pulling hard lost its appeal as the gauze padding protected him from her vengeful tugging.  She unwound it as quickly and steadily as she could, pausing when she reached the top and realized it was once again sticking to skin.

 

ÒJust do it, pet,Ó he said when she hesitated. 

 

Buffy glanced up at him, then, tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, she began to pull, slowly and carefully.  Spike remained stoically silent as she peeled off the last layer of tape and dropped the sticky mess into a wastebasket.  She cast a critical eye over his pale torso, pleased to see that the only sign of the jagged rib edges were the already closed wounds and some bruising.  She ran her hands over them, searching for any sign of unhealed pieces or improperly healed bones.

 

As she felt around his chest and back, her touch became less businesslike and more tender, her hands lingering on his skin and stroking it softly.  It wasnÕt until she heard him purring that she realized what she was doing and dropped her hand quickly.

 

ÒIÕm sorry,Ó she mumbled.

 

ÒFor what?  I was enjoying that.Ó

 

ÒI know you were; but I didnÕt mean to sendÉto make youÉtoÉÓ

 

ÒÉto write checks you arenÕt willing to cash?Ó

 

She snorted.  ÒI guess thatÕs as good an explanation as any.Ó

 

He tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.  ÒBuffy, donÕt ever apologize for touching me.  I didnÕt take it for more than it was, and even if I had, wouldnÕt object when you set me straight.Ó

 

ÒOkay, this is just getting too weird.  WhereÕs the disgusting piggy vampire I know and lo—I know so well?Ó

 

She looked away and busied herself rechecking the ribs she already knew were aligned and only slightly painful.  She stiffened when Spike slid his hands around her in a loose embrace.

 

ÒHeÕs not far, love. You can believe that. All IÕm saying is, I donÕt want you to be afraid to be near me - or to touch me if you want to - just because you know IÕll always be wanting more.Ó 

 

Buffy raised her head and glanced at him apprehensively.  ÒReally?Ó

 

ÒReally.  Do you think I didnÕt notice your little slip there?  I know that ÔÉknow and loveÉÕ is just an expression. IÕm not stupid, Slayer. YouÕd never love a monster.  I just donÕt want you beinÕ afraid to relax around me because you think I might take advantage of it.Ó

 

ÒBut youÉweÉÓ

 

ÒBut I already did.Ó  He nodded. ÒAnd IÕm not going to apologize for it.  It was a bloody revelationÉand something IÕll never regret.  The big git could beat me up every night if it meant IÕd get—Ó

 

ÒSpikeÉÓ

 

ÒRight. Off topic.  Alright, I did take advantage of youÉonce.  But that was beforeÉÓ He shook his head in frustration and started over, his arms unconsciously tightening around her just a bit.  ÒWould never do anything to hurt you, Buffy. WouldnÕt try to take what you didnÕt want to give.Ó

 

ÒOh, okay then.Ó She tried to tell herself she wasnÕt as disappointed as she knew she sounded, even as her body softened into his embrace.   His cool breath on her ear sent a shiver down her spine while other parts of her body reacted to memories of what he could do with that breath.

 

ÒDoesnÕt mean IÕm giving up, love,Ó he murmured while he ran his lips down her neck.  ÒIÕm not going to push you, but IÕm not going away, either.  IÕll be here when you change your mind.Ó

 

ÒWhat makes you think—Ó The lips that had been on her neck were suddenly on her mouth and she reacted immediately, falling into another kiss that seemed to go on forever and to reach all the way down to her toes.  She wondered briefly if toes really did curl when you got turned on, but resisted the urge to break the kiss long enough to look down at her bare feet.

 

Before she could forget her determination not to repeat the events of a few nights ago, and before Spike could act on his obvious inability to give her the space heÕd just promised, the phone sent them jumping apart.

 

While Spike looked embarrassed at having been startled by something so mundane as a ringing telephone, Buffy stared at it with mingled gratitude and dismay. Moving quickly, before Spike could reach for her again, she grabbed the receiver and blurted ÒHello?Ó While she waited for a reply, she pushed her feet back into her slippers and straightened her flannel pajama top.

 

Her motherÕs worried voice came over the wire and at her first words, Buffy held the phone out so that Spike could hear.

 

ÒBuffy? Are you listening?  Is Spike still there?Ó

 

ÒYes, Mom. IÕm listening. WeÕre listening.  You said Riley came by the gallery already this morning?Ó

 

ÒYes.  He was waiting here when I arrived. He was quite agitated and kept insisting that I must tell him where Spike was.Ó

 

ÒWhat did you say?Ó Buffy tried to shush SpikeÕs growls as she waited for an answer.

 

ÒI was pretty curt with him, IÕm afraid.  I told him I was terribly disappointed in what heÕd done to Spike and that he would not be welcome in our home anymore.Ó

 

ÒGo, Mom!Ó  BuffyÕs voice was echoed by SpikeÕs quiet ÒThank you, Joyce.Ó

 

ÒYouÕre welcome, Spike.  The thing is, he probably figured out that the only way I would know what heÕd done was if IÕd seen you, so I think heÕs probably on his way there now.Ó

 

ÒOkay, Mom. Thanks for the heads-up.  WeÕll take care of it.Ó

 

ÒBuffy, please donÕt forget that Spike cannot defend himself. HeÕs helpless against Riley.Ó

 

ÒI said ÔweÕ, Mom.  ThereÕs no chip in my head.Ó

 

ÒAll right, honey.  Just so you donÕt leave them alone together.Ó

 

ÒI wasnÕt planning to.  But I might put Spike in the basement for a few days, if thatÕs all right with you?Ó

 

ÒOf course. ThatÕs fine.  I think thereÕs an old camp cot down there somewhere and you know where the clean sheets are.Ó  JoyceÕs voice hesitated.  ÒBut thereÕs nothing to keep Riley out of the house, is there? ItÕs not like heÕs a vampire and we can—Ó

 

ÒIÕm going to reason with him.  IÕm pretty sure, by the time IÕm done, heÕll understand that he isnÕt welcome here – and that itÕs not in his best interest to come around. If I have to, IÕll call the police.Ó

 

ÒAll right, honey. If you're sure. Tell Spike I should be home around six.Ó

 

ÒOkay.Ó Buffy paused, then softly, ÒThanks, Mom.Ó

 

ÒI like Spike almost as much as you do,Ó her mother said, with a smile in her voice.  ÒIÕm not planning to let anything happen to him.Ó

 

ÒNeither am I,Ó Buffy replied, a trace of steel in her still soft voice.  ÒSee you later.Ó

 

She hung up and turned to face Spike who had moved away and was watching her with an inscrutable look on his face.  They faced each other, neither willing to make the first move.  Finally, Buffy sighed and moved towards the kitchen.

 

ÒSo much for going to class today,Ó she said with another sigh.  ÒLetÕs go downstairs and see what we can do about fixing it up for you.Ó

 

She had already opened the basement door and was partway down the stairs before she realized that he wasnÕt behind her.  She turned around and went back to the top stair, peering around the corner for him.

 

ÒSpike? Where are you?Ó

 

When he didnÕt answer, she retraced her steps to find him sitting on the couch, his arms crossed and a stubborn pout on his face.

 

ÒWhat?Ó 

 

ÒIÕm not hiding behind the skirts of a couple of women,Ó he growled.  When Buffy drew herself up and opened her mouth, he added quickly, ÒEven if one of them is the Slayer.Ó

 

ÒSpike.Ó Buffy rolled her eyes to Heaven in a silent plea for patience.  ÒMom is right, you canÕt defend yourself.Ó  She pointed to the wad of tape and gauze in the wastebasket.  ÒYouÕre not hiding behind my skirts, youÕre just Éjust making a strategic decision to lay low.Ó

 

ÒHa, bloody, ha, Slayer.  YouÕre asking me to hide in your motherÕs basement while you guard the door.  What does that sound like to you?Ó

 

ÒLike the smart thing to do?  Oh, wait. I forgot who I was talking to.  Of course you think itÕs a bad idea.  Because it makes sense, and heaven forbid you should do the sensible thing!Ó

 

They glared at each other for a long minute, startled out of what looked like it could be a lengthy standoff by a knock on the front door.  BuffyÕs eyes flew to the door, then back to the vampire.

 

ÒGet your ass down those stairs or IÕll throw you down and retape your ribs later,Ó she hissed, yanking him to his feet and ignoring his pained yelp.  She waited until heÕd disappeared into the kitchen and she heard the basement door close before walking to the door where Riley was still knocking vigorously.  She pulled it open and stood, arms folded, blocking the entrance.

 

ÒWhat do you want, Riley? I told you I didnÕt want to see you for a while.Ó

 

ÒI just wanted to be sure that Spike wasnÕt playing on your motherÕs lack of common sense to hide here,Ó he mumbled. 

 

Coming to the SummersÕ home so early in the morning was beginning to seem like less of a good idea as, in spite of her pajamas and fuzzy slippers, he came face to face with the Slayer he had once watched take out his whole team of crack commandoes.  BuffyÕs fuzz-clad toe was tapping impatiently.

 

ÒWhy would you think Spike was here?Ó

 

ÒHeÕs not in his crypt,Ó Riley said before heÕd thought it through, ÒAnd your mother was obviously trying to hide something from me this morning.Ó

 

ÒYouÕve been to SpikeÕs crypt? And youÕve talked to my mother already this morning?  What the hell, Riley?Ó

 

ÒWell,Ó he said stiffly, ÒyouÕre clearly not in your right mind when it comes to that vampire, and I donÕt know what XanderÕs problem is, but someone has to try to fix this situation.Ó

 

ÒWhat situation would that be?Ó she asked with deceptive calmness.  ÒThe one that has you thinking that the SlayerÕs job to protect innocent victims ends with the ones that have heartbeats and human faces?Ó 

 

She thought about SpikeÕs poker buddy, Clem and his relatively harmless friends, and shuddered to remember how many of them had been picked up by the Initiative and then discarded as worthless when experiments showed them to be less than useful as weapons.

 

ÒI didnÕt think youÕd be so interested in protecting this vampire once you knew he had the hots for you,Ó Riley sneered.  ÒOr, maybe thatÕs why youÕre so willing to take his side against me.  Is that it? Your first vampire boyfriend wasnÕt a big enough mistake, you want to try it again?Ó

 

ÒThatÕs enough, Riley,Ó she said through clenched teeth.  Her hands were balled into fists at her side.  ÒThis has nothing to do with Angel, or vampires, or how Spike does or does not feel about me.  ItÕs about fairness and the way youÕre letting your insecurity about losing your enhancements affect your thinking.Ó

 

When he gaped at her, she smirked and said, ÒDid you think I didnÕt pay any attention in class last year?  I know stuff.Ó She let that sink in, then added, ÒThis vendetta youÕve got against Spike has got to stop.  IÕm not going to let you dust him, and IÕm not going to let you use him as a punching bag to make yourself feel superior.Ó

 

While Riley continued to stare at the pajama-clad girl blocking his entrance to the house, she added, ÒAnd you stay away from my mother and her home, or IÕll put you in a hospital.  Is that clear?Ó

 

ÒThatÕs the same thing you said to me last year when I was going to shoot your vampire ex.  Kind of a theme with you, isnÕt it?Ó

 

ÒWeÕre talking about my mother, here, Riley.  You know, the one who was hospitalized recently?  If I find out youÕve so much as made her nervous, IÕll kill you.  HowÕs that for a new theme?Ó  She stared at him coldly, her threat all the more chilling for the complete calmness with which she uttered it.

 

He nodded. ÒIt figures that someone who calls herself  ÔThe SlayerÕ would eventually get around to promising to kill me.  ItÕs nice to know where I stand in your life.Ó

 

ÒYou think you should come before my mother

 

ÒThatÕs just a smokescreen. DonÕt think I canÕt see through it.  This is all about Hostile Seventeen and the way he manipulates you and your family.Ó

 

ÒNo, Riley,Ó she said with surprising gentleness.  ÒIt isnÕt about that. ItÕs about you and your unwillingness to give up the InitiativeÕs black and white view of the sentient beings they tortured and killed, your anger at Spike for getting away and remaining undusty, and your anger at the world for taking away the physical enhancements that were killing you.  IÕm sorry that being normal has caused you such pain.  YouÕre a good-looking, very bright and athletic guy.  I wish you could see that and stop obsessing over what you arenÕt anymore.Ó

 

ÒWhat IÕm not anymore, is willing to play second-fiddle to a vampire that you, yourself, told me youÕd be dating if you wanted someone with superpowers. Admit it, Buffy. You have a thing for vampires.Ó

 

Buffy flashed back to SpikeÕs speech the night before and took a deep breath.

 

ÒMaybe I do,Ó she admitted slowly, more to herself than to him as her thoughts churned. ÒI donÕt know what it is that gives me my Slayer powers. A slayerÕs whole short life is spent fighting evil – all kinds of evil, so I donÕt think itÕs a demon.  But, maybe thereÕs a good version of a demon inside me that gives me powers, just like a vamp gets when heÕs been turned.  Maybe whatÕs inside me can see the person inside the demon and respond to that.Ó

 

They stared at each other, Buffy shocked at what sheÕd just revealed, Riley nodding as though heÕd just been vindicated.

 

ÒYou know, Buffy, there are places where humans can go to get bitten by vamps. Maybe I should check them out and see what the appeal isÉ Or maybe I should just get myself turned.  Would that do it for you?Ó

 

ÒRileyÉÓ She stopped, unable to respond to his threat at first.  ÒPlease donÕt think that. DonÕt even say it as a joke.  You know if you got turned, IÕd have to stake you.Ó

 

ÒDoubt it,Ó he said cheerfully.  ÒThen IÕd be just like them.  YouÕd be throwing yourself at me every night if I was a vampire.Ó

 

ÒRiley, this is not funny.  Getting turned isnÕt something to joke about.  It happens in this town. All the time.  You have no idea how often IÕve had to stake somebody I went to high school with, or who used to be a good friend.  It hurts. But I do it.Ó

 

ÒAnd yet, Angel is living it up in LA, and IÕll bet you Spike is hiding somewhere in this house.Ó

 

Buffy stared at him, her eyes filled with fear that was gradually replaced by chilly resolve.

 

ÒI sent Angel to hell on the point of a sword, Riley.  I was only seventeen, and it broke my heart, but I did it. Those Powers that you donÕt believe in brought him back. I thought IÕd killed him.Ó

 

Riley blinked.  ÒReally? You did?  I didnÕt know that.Ó

 

ÒThereÕs a lot you donÕt know about me,Ó she said with a sigh.  ÒAnd probably never will.Ó

 

ÒThat sounds like a brush-off.Ó

 

ÒItÕs just stating a fact,Ó she said with a sad little smile.  ÒWeÕre not working out; you and me.  IÕm not sure whatÕs gone wrong, but I have a skanky new big bad who can kick my butt, a mother recovering from brain surgery, a kid sister who--Ó She stopped, suddenly remembering that for whatever reason, she hadnÕt yet told Riley about DawnÕs Keyness.  She was quietly grateful for that as he repeated his threat to become a vampire and return to claim his rightful place at her side. 

 

ÒDonÕt think that, Riley,Ó she urged.  ÒNo matter how you feel about me, or how angry you are that we arenÕt together, please donÕt go out and get yourself turned into something I will have to slay.  IÕm sorry I canÕt be what you want me to be – but turning yourself into a vamp isnÕt the answer. IÕm begging youÉÓ

 

ÒSave it,Ó he said, spinning around and heading down the driveway.

 

 

Chapter Six  (6/9)

 

 Buffy waited until heÕd pulled out of the driveway and been out of sight for several minutes before she closed the door and carefully locked it.  On her way to the basement, she also checked the rarely-ever locked kitchen door, smiling when she saw that her mother had obviously already had that thought.  A sound from the basement brought her attention back to the vampire sheÕd ordered down there and she mentally prepared herself for an argument with another stubborn man.

 

She walked down the stairs, halting close to the bottom when she saw Spike standing there to meet her.

 

ÒYou heard?Ó she asked unnecessarily.  He nodded and ran his knuckles down her cheek.

 

ÒIÕm sorry, pet,Ó he said as sincerely as he could.

 

She shrugged and leaned into his hand briefly.

 

ÒAh, itÕs just BuffyÕs normal love life. Easy come, easy go.  ItÕs like I would have told him if heÕd let me finish, I just donÕt have time for a lot of relationship crap right now. IÕve got too much else to worry about.Ó

 

ÒDonÕt have to worry about it by yourself,Ó he said quietly.  ÒYou could share the burden.  Not just with me,Ó he hastened to add when she started to protest.  ÒYouÕve got your watcher, your friends, people who care about you.Ó

 

ÒThe Slayer is alone, Spike. ThatÕs how it always is.Ó She automatically parroted what Merrick had told her so long ago.

 

ÒNot you,Ó he disagreed firmly. ÒYouÕve got family, friends, itÕs what makes you so strong and special. Those ties are whatÕs keeping you in this world.  Use them. Let them help you.  Let us help you, Buffy.  Let me help.Ó

 

ÒYou could start helping by staying undusty – even if that means you have to hide in the basement for awhile.Ó

 

ÒI heard him, you know.  He knows IÕm here.Ó

 

ÒHe thinks he knows youÕre here.  He doesnÕt really know it.  And if he tries to come in, heÕs going to find out just how much I was holding back when we sparred last year.Ó

 

ÒYou canÕt stay here all the time just to protect me, Slayer.  's not right. YouÕve got classes to go to and friends to see.  IÕll find some place to hunker down for a while until the enormous hall monitor stops worrying about me.Ó

 

Buffy eyed him dubiously. 

 

ÒWhere would you go?Ó

 

ÒGot a bit of dosh left from my last poker game.  IÕll just get a room in a motel or something.  Somewhere heÕs not likely to see me – on the demon side of town.Ó

 

The reminder that there was a part of Sunnydale in which enough harmless demons lived that it actually had a name, reminded Buffy of RileyÕs threat. She stared at Spike speculatively.

 

ÒDo you know of any places where people go to get sucked on?  Where somebody could get turned if he wanted to?Ó

 

Spike looked uncomfortable for a minute, then shrugged.

 

ÒYeah, Slayer. I know of them.  Full of vamps too lazy or cowardly to hunt for themselves. Whores, most of them.Ó

 

ÒWhy didnÕt you do that when you first got chipped?  Instead of starving until you had to come to me for help?Ó

 

ÒNot a whore,Ó he said shortly. ÒIÕm a lot of things – most of them evil  – but I have some pride.Ó

 

ÒPeople pay for it?  WhatÕs wrong with them?Ó  She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself.  ÒI canÕt imagine it.Ó

 

ÒCan feel right good, luv. Done right by somebody who knows what sheÕs doing it can be bloody addictive for some blokes. Even some womenÉwant to live out their Drac fantasies or something. Ó

 

ÒNot helping the ooky image, Spike.Ó

 

ÒSorry, luv, but itÕs the truth. People donÕt always have to pay for itÉunless theyÕre getting something a little extra with the bite.  ItÕs an even exchange – the vamp gets the blood and the human getsÉwhatever he or she is there to get.  It doesnÕt hurt much.Ó

 

ÒIÕve been bitten. It hurts like hell!Ó she insisted.

 

His face darkened at the reminder of who had put the marks on her neck.

 

ÒThose wankers werenÕt trying to give you pleasure. Old Batface was trying to kill you, and the poof was too busy trying to save himself to give any thought to you. If IÉÓ He stopped and started again.  ÒIt can be done so that it doesnÕt hurt. Trust me on this.Ó

 

BuffyÕs automatic disagreement never left her mouth as she remembered that sheÕd slept right through DraculaÕs first bite.

 

ÒSo, Riley could go out and get himself bitten without being killed?Ó

 

ÒHe could.Ó

 

ÒWonderful. Now I have to worry that heÕs letting some vamp ho munch on him. Like I donÕt have enough drama in my life now.Ó

 

She looked around the dark room, searching for the old cot she knew was folded up somewhere.  She spotted it and walked to the shelf, tugging on it unsuccessfully until a pale hand reached over her shoulder and halted her efforts.

 

ÒLeave it, pet.  Like you just said, youÕve got enough drama in your life.  IÕll be fine by the time it gets dark and IÕll get out of your mumÕs house soonÕs I can.Ó

 

Buffy sighed. ÒI donÕt want to keep having this argument, Spike.  I can keep you safe here. Out there, anything could happen to you.Ó

 

He studied her exasperated face for a minute, then stepped even closer, trapping her between the shelves and his body.

 

ÒJust answer me one question, Slayer.  Why are you suddenly so worried about me?  Are you afraid to lose your back-up muscle?  Or is there some other reason why my well-being is so important?Ó

 

His face was carefully blank, only the wary hope in his eyes giving any indication of how important her answer would be.  Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.

 

ÒDonÕt do this, Spike. Not now.  I meant it when I said I didnÕt have time for relationship stuff.  I need to knowÉI need to know that I can count on you for backup when I need it.  To know that you can help me protect Dawn and my mom.  DonÕt complicate it.  Please,Ó she added softly, touching his cheek lightly before ducking under his arm and moving away.

 

She ignored the soft growl from behind her, moving towards the stairs.  Without turning around she said, ÒYou have to stay here until dark anyway, whether IÕm here to protect you or not. You might as well pull that thing out and get some more rest.  IÕll bring you another mug of blood before I leave for class.Ó

 

 

 

After a quick shower and change of clothes, Buffy gathered her things for school and set them by the front door.  She was just warming SpikeÕs blood when the basement door opened and he peered into the sunny kitchen.  Moving cautiously around the rays of sunlight, he edged his way towards the safely shaded hallway.

 

ÒWhere are you going?Ó

 

ÒItÕs boring down there. I want to watch the telly,Ó he pouted.

 

Buffy didnÕt answer, just handed him his mug of warmed blood and walked past him.  She picked up her things and watched him settle in on the couch.

 

ÒDonÕt get blood on the furniture,Ó she said, finally.

 

ÒWouldnÕt do that to your mum,Ó he said between sips of blood.  ÒGo on, Slayer. Go get an education.  IÕll be fine.Ó

 

Buffy lingered a minute longer, then opened the door.  As it swung shut behind her, she heard his soft, ÒDonÕt waste time worrying about me.Ó

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After class, where she was pleased to find that she was not as behind as she had expected, she assured the professor that her mother was now fine and that she would be a more regular student from now on.  Her mentally crossed fingers were invisible as she smiled brightly and tried to put Glory and her search for the key out of her mind.

 

Lunch with Willow and Tara was short, although she did fill them in quickly on the change in RileyÕs status.

 

ÒIÕm sorry, Buffy,Ó Willow said loyally.  ÒMen are such poopheads.Ó 

 

Tara seemed as concerned about Spike as she was about BuffyÕs lack of a man in her life.

 

ÒIs he going to be all right?Ó she asked softly.

 

Buffy blinked her surprise, then smiled.  So, someone else besides her mom and Dawn liked Spike.

 

ÒHeÕll be okay.  Vampires heal really fast if they get enough blood and rest. Which reminds me, I have to stop by the butcher on the way home. I think weÕre out of the stuff Mom was keeping around for him.Ó

 

ÒWhat are you doing to do about Riley?Ó Tara continued her concerned questions, leading Willow to ask with a small smile, ÒShould I be getting jealous of all this concern for Spike?Ó

 

ÒOh no!Ó Tara blushed and stammered.  ÒNÉno, of course not. ItÕs justÉheÕs always been nice to me, and now heÕs helping Buffy andÉÓ

 

While Buffy and Willow giggled at her embarrassment, Tara let her voice trail off.

 

ÒYou were kidding me, werenÕt you?Ó she said, blushing again.

 

ÒWe were. But only because you are so adorable,Ó Willow said, kissing TaraÕs cheek.  ÒI know you wouldnÕt be interested in Spike – even if you did like men.Ó

 

Tara cocked her head at Willow. 

 

ÒWhy wouldnÕt I?  Not that I am,Ó she hastened to add, Òbut, heÕs sweet and good looking and super strong; and, okay, the drinking blood thing is kind of a turn-off, butÉÓ

 

Buffy and Willow exchanged looks. 

 

ÒOkay, IÕll give you the super-strong, and the good-looking,Ó Buffy ignored Willow's surprised twitch.  ÒBut, sweet?  How would you know he can be swee—  I mean, why would you think that?Ó

 

ÒI think itÕs pretty obvious,Ó Tara said seriously.  ÒI mean, IÕm sure I donÕt get to see it as often you do, but—Ò

 

ÒWhy would Buffy get to see it?Ó  Willow looked back and forth between Tara and Buffy, wondering what she was missing. The pink color in BuffyÕs face heightened as Tara continued on.

 

ÒWell, itÕs so obvious how he feels about her.  Of course she would get to see his sweet side more than we do.Ó She looked at Buffy for confirmation, only to find her staring back in dismay.

 

ÒItÕs obvious?Ó she squeaked.  ÒHow come I never noticed it until—how come IÕm just finding out about it?Ó

 

ÒYouÕve been busy,Ó Tara soothed quickly.  ÒIÕm sure youÕve had too much to worry about recently to notice, but, yes, itÕs been pretty obvious for a while now.Ó

 

Willow looked thoughtful.  ÒNow that you mention it, he has been all with the helpful lately. Watching out for Dawn and your mother, helping you patrol...  Ohmygod! No wonder Riley wants to kill him!Ó

 

ÒThanks for that reminder,Ó Buffy groaned, then sat up straight. ÒOh! I didnÕt tell you the worst of it.Ó  She quickly filled them in on RileyÕs threat to get himself turned or to at least start going to places that he could get bitten.  ÒSo, you need to be really careful if he comes to your apartment.  DonÕt invite him in. Just in case.  And watch out for him at night. Try not to let him get you alone.Ó

 

ÒDo you really think he might do that? Get turned just toÉto what? What does he think youÕll do?Ó

 

Buffy sighed. ÒHe thinks when heÕs turned that heÕs not going to see me as a snack.  That heÕll still want to be my boyfriend, and that IÕll be more interested in him if heÕs a vampire.Ó  She shook her head.  ÒI tried to tell him that I stake people I used to know all the time, and that if I could send Angel to hell, he didnÕt have a chance, but I donÕt think he believed me.  I just hope he gets over this before he does something really stupid.Ó

 

ÒHeÕs got that Y chromosome going for him.  I think ÔstupidÕ is pretty much a given,Ó Willow said, leading to understanding nods from the other two women.

 

Lunch ended with Buffy reminding them again to be careful for a while, and suggesting they all meet at the Magic Box in the late afternoon to bring Giles and Xander up to date.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She jogged home after her afternoon classes, reminding herself once again about how foolish it was that sheÕd never learned to drive.  She turned into her driveway to see JoyceÕs SUV already there, and fear clenched her heart as she hurried into the house.  She was grateful to find that her key was needed to open the front door, and even more grateful to find her mother sitting on the couch with Spike and watching Passions.

 

Neither of them did much besides glance up and wave absently, before going back to paying rapt attention to the activities on the small screen.  Shaking her head, Buffy went into the kitchen and began putting away the packages of blood that sheÕd picked up on the way home.  She was just closing the freezer door when she felt Spike come up behind her.

 

ÒDo you want some now?Ó she asked, turning around to find him only inches away. 

 

He grinned at her, and whispered, ÒlÕd love some, pet, but your mumÕs just in the next roomÉÓ

 

ÒPig!Ó

 

ÒOink,Ó he replied happily, reaching around her to remove one of the containers of blood.  ÒNeed a bit more of this, if you donÕt mind.  PigÕs blood doesnÕt quite get the job done like the good stuff.Ó

 

As he leaned in to take the package out, his face was right in front of her chest. His mouth just barely brushed her nipple when he pulled back, evoking a surprised gasp and a punch to his arm.

 

ÒOops?Ó

 

ÒYou did that on purpose!Ó she hissed.  ÒDonÕt pretend you didnÕt.  I canÕt believe Tara thinks youÕre sweet!Ó

 

ÒShe thinks IÕm what?Ó  Forgetting to tease Buffy, he indignantly pulled himself erect.  ÒIÕm an evil vampire,Ó he insisted. ÒThe dozy bint canÕt go around saying things like that about me!Ó

 

ÒYeah, thatÕs what I told her. I told her you werenÕt sweet.Ó

 

ÒThanks, luv, I—What do you mean, thatÕs what you told her?Ó

 

Buffy giggled as his expression flashed between indignation and dismay.  She surprised them both by leaning up to place a quick kiss on his cheek.  Before he could react, she moved away from the refrigerator and out of reach. 

 

ÒSpike, the commercial is over,Ó Joyce called from the living room.

 

ÒBe right there,Ó he called back, taking his mug off the dish drainer.

 

Buffy took it and the container of pigÕs blood from him, saying, ÒGo back to your stupid soap opera.  IÕll fix this.  And then weÕre going to the Magic Box. I want you there when I tell them all about Riley.Ó

 

He nodded and went back to join Joyce in front of the TV, while Buffy poured out the blood and set it in the microwave.  She watched it twirl around, her mind filled with memories of picnics on the lawn, nights spent patrolling together, and parties on the campus of Sunnydale University. Memories of a time when she thought Riley was the one normal man in the world who could accept who she was and give her something close to a normal life.

 

And here she was, ÒcookingÓ dinner for another vampire instead of for a human boyfriend.  She sighed and took the cup out, carrying it carefully into the living room and handing it to Spike.  Seemingly without intent, her mother moved over so that there was room for Buffy to sit between them.  With a resigned roll of her eyes, Buffy sat down and tried to figure out what was happening on the bizarre show that her mother and Spike were so fond of.

 

 

Chapter Seven  (7/9)

 

Hours later, after Buffy had changed clothes and eaten dinner, she waited impatiently for Spike to put on his boots and coat.  When he finally joined her at the door, Joyce offered to drive them to the Magic Box, mentioning that the sun wasnÕt quite down yet.

 

ÒNo thanks, Mom,Ó she said with a smile. ÒWeÕll be all right.  SpikeÕs an expert on running around in the sun like an idiot.Ó

 

Lifting his lip at Buffy in a mostly-real snarl, he addressed himself to Joyce.

 

ÒIsnÕt it some kind of law in this bloody country that every teenager has to learn to drive the minute theyÕre old enough?  WhatÕs wrong with your daughter?Ó

 

ÒThere is nothing wrong with me,Ó Buffy huffed. ÒI just donÕt like mechanical things.  And they donÕt like meÉ.Ó she added in a much softer voice.  ÒAnyway, itÕll be dark in a few minutes. YouÕll be fine.Ó

 

Still bickering, they waved good-bye to Joyce and started out the door. At the last second, Buffy remembered they hadnÕt warned Joyce about Riley, and whirled around to tell her not to let him in.  When Joyce asked why it would matter as long as Spike wasnÕt there, Buffy exchanged looks with Spike then said, ÒHeÉitÕs possibleÉÓ

 

ÒThe stupid git is thinkinÕ about getting himself turned,Ó Spike growled over BuffyÕs stammering.  ÒDonÕt care how normal he looks to you, just donÕt invite him in.Ó

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Buffy and Spike walked in comfortable silence, their powerful strides eating up the distance between Revello Drive and the Magic Box.  Buffy kept an eye on him, asking eventually, ÒHow do you feel? Do you want to slow down?Ó

 

ÒIÕm fine, Slayer,Ó he said, hiding the smile he couldnÕt control when he heard the concern in her voice.  ÒIÕll stop by WillyÕs later and get some O Neg. Between that and another good rest, I should be back to my old obnoxious self by tomorrow.Ó

 

ÒBack to your old self, huh?Ó she said.  ÒWell IÕm not sure I want you to be that much better!Ó

 

ÒAre you really sure you donÕt?Ó  His lifted his eyebrows and wriggled them theatrically while he leered.

 

ÒYou are such an ass.Ó

 

ÒÕs why you love me,Ó he grinned, holding the door open for her.

 

ÒI donÕtÉ Just shut up!Ó  She flew through the doorway, her face flaming only to find everyone staring at them with various expressions of shock on their faces.  Too late, she realized that sheÕd allowed Spike to open and hold the door for her as if he were a man rather than an annoying vampire.

 

ÒHi, guys, Ò she said weakly.  ÒThanks for coming.  I just thought it would be easier to tell everybody at one time instead of trying to catch everybody beforeÉÓ

 

ÒBeforeÉ?Ó  Giles gazed at her with curiosity, then over her shoulder with barely concealed hostility.  Spike smirked back at him and jumped up on the counter to watch.

 

ÒLooking better, fangface,Ó Xander said into the silence.  ÒHas the Buffster been keeping you safe from those big bad humans?Ó

 

Spike gave Xander the expected glare, somewhat muted by his memory of how the boy had helped Buffy care for him.  He muttered a face-saving something about what heÕd do when the chip was out and turned away from XanderÕs laughing, ÒYouÕre welcomeÓ.

 

ÒWhat humans? What is Xander talking about?Ó  Giles stared at the two new arrivals, a frown creasing his brow.

 

ÒYou didnÕt tell him?Ó Buffy looked at Xander in surprise.

 

ÒI just told him Spike got beat up and that he was recovering at your house.Ó He shrugged in embarrassment.  ÒWe werenÕt sure exactly what to say about who did it, and I donÕt really know how or why it happened, soÉÓ

 

ÒIt happened because RileyÕs a poophead,Ó Willow muttered.

 

ÒThank you, Willow, that was quite informative.Ó Giles rolled his eyes like a teenager.

 

ÒSarcasm is never pretty, Giles,Ó Willow said primly, giving him her best offended sniff.

 

Ignoring her, Giles looked at Spike, noticing for the first time the fading bruises on the vampireÕs face.  He waited for an explanation from the vampire, but when it wasnÕt forthcoming, turned his attention to Buffy.

 

ÒBuffy?Ó

 

ÒHereÕs the sitch, Giles. Riley and I have been having someÉrelationship issuesÉlately, and he decided to take out his anger about it on Spike.  I donÕt know what would have happened if I hadnÕt found them when I did.Ó

 

ÒAnd why would he take it out on Spike?Ó  The older manÕs shrewd look told her he was going to be no easier to fool than her mother was.

 

ÒBecause he canÕt fight back,Ó Tara said quietly.  ÒAnd because without his enhancements, RileyÕs ego seems to need a little boosting.Ó

 

ÒHeÕs jealous,Ó Buffy said flatly, determined to get that out of the way before the discussion went any further.  ÒI said something about dating Spike when I was trying to convince Riley to come in and get that chip out, and he just took it and ran with it.Ó

 

ÒYou said something about dating Spike?Ó  Xander was suddenly paying much closer attention to the conversation.

 

ÒIt just popped out.  He – Riley – was afraid I wouldnÕt want him any more once he was normal, and I said if I wanted somebody with superpowers, IÕd be dating Spike.Ó

 

ÒSo, you were, like, just saying that.  You didnÕt mean you actually wanted to date Spike, right?Ó

 

Buffy blushed, avoiding SpikeÕs intent gaze.

 

ÒIÕm telling you the same thing I told Riley – I have too many other things to worry about now.  Dating isnÕt on my list.Ó

 

Hoping sheÕd been vague enough to deflect suspicion, she continued quickly.

 

ÒSo thatÕs why we had to have a meeting.Ó

 

ÒWeÕre having a meeting because you and Riley are on the outs? Or because he beat up Spike?Ó  Giles still looked confused.

 

ÒOh, no!  WeÕre having a meeting because Riley came to the house this morning looking for Spike and he saidÉÓ She looked at Spike for assistance again and he jumped off the counter to stand behind her.

 

ÒThe wanker is thinking about hitting the vamp bite houses and getting himself turned.Ó

 

ÒDear lord,Ó Giles muttered.  ÒWhat could he be thinking?Ó

 

ÒSeems he thinks the Slayer has a thing for vampires and that sheÕll fall at his feet.Ó

 

ÒOh dear.  Buffy, IÕm so sor--Ó GilesÕ expression changed, as did his intended words. ÒÉso bloody angry at that oaf, I would volunteer to be the one to stake him for you. I am sorry, Buffy.Ó

 

Buffy waved her hand dismissively.  ÒHe thinks I wonÕt stake him.  HeÕs wrong.  The bottom line is that you all need to be careful when youÕre out at night, and donÕt go near him.  And donÕt let him in your house or room.  If he canÕt get in under his own power, youÕll know what happened.  Call me right away.Ó

 

She turned toward her friends.  ÒIÕm going to try to prevent it, if I can.Ó

 

ÒHow?Ó

 

ÒFor starters, IÕm going to burn down all thoseÉplacesÉwhere people go to get sucked.Ó

 

ÒHow will you find them? I doubt anyone is going to share that information with the Slayer.Ó

 

ÒSpikeÕs going to show me.Ó

 

ÒHe is?Ó

 

ÒI am?Ó

 

Buffy put her hands on her hips and glared at him.  ÒYou know where they are, donÕt you?Ó

 

ÒMost of Ôem,Ó he admitted grudgingly.  ÒBut those poor vamps working there arenÕt hurtinÕ anybody.  No more than they want to be hurtÉÓ

 

ÒItÕs disgusting. And dangerous.  They have to go.Ó 

 

Spike and Giles exchanged a look, then the watcher said softly, ÒBuffy, you do realize that Riley can get himself turned almost anywhere? He could go to WillyÕs, or just hang around the cemeteries until he finds a vamp to drain him.Ó

 

ÒHe could,Ó she admitted reluctantly. ÒBut if he thinks thereÕs somethingÉI mean Spike saysÉand he could probably trust aÉmaybe he wouldnÕtÉÓ She looked at Spike, saying meekly, ÒHelp?Ó

 

ÒWhat the Slayer is trying so eloquently to say is that there can be a sexual component to a vamp bite.  It feels good – or it can, if done right.  And the soldier-boy obviously already knows that – has heard about it, at least.  DonÕt see him taking his chances on some random vamp that wants to tear his throat out when he can have it done all gentle-like and get himself off at the same time.Ó

 

BuffyÕs flaming face told him he might have been a bit too graphic in his description, but his apologetic shrug wasnÕt seen by anyone except Giles.  Anya was busy reminiscing about vampires sheÕd known back in her demon days, Xander was struggling not to appear curious, and Willow and Tara were looking appropriately shocked.

 

ÒBuffyÉÓ Giles began, not sure what he intended to say.

 

ÒGiles, it doesnÕt matter whether theyÕre intentionally hurting anybody or not. The point is, they could.  Who knows how many of the vampires I stake every night came from some vamp-ho who didnÕt know when to stop?  Besides, maybe if it isnÕt easy for him, Riley will think twice about it.Ó

 

ÒHe might think twice about it once he cools down,Ó Xander volunteered, still reluctant to give up on his only male friend in spite of the surprising changes in RileyÕs behavior. 

 

Buffy looked at him in surprise.

 

ÒXander, he was lying to you to get you to do something you knew was wrong. How can you defend him after that?Ó

 

ÒWell, I didnÕt know it was wrong, did I?  I mean, if Deadboy, Jr there got the chip outÉÓ

 

ÒYouÕd be the first to know, Harris,Ó Spike said with a grin that just exposed the tips of his fangs.

 

ÒSee!  It could have been true!Ó  Xander glared back at the unrepentant vampire.

 

ÒI heard what you said to that wanker,Ó Spike said, allowing his grin to fade.  ÒYou already knew it wasnÕt true before Buffy got there.Ó

 

Xander sighed and shrugged.  ÒYeah, all right. I guess I did.  But I could have been wrong about you.  You are still evil, arenÕt you?Ó  He gave Spike a confused frown.

 

ÒSometimes, I guess I am,Ó Spike answered with a sideways look at Buffy.  ÒBut thereÕs nobody in this room isnÕt safe from me, chip or no chip.Ó

 

ÒYou do understand that, as reassuring as that may be, it is not quite whatÕs needed to allay our fears?Ó Giles asked dryly.

 

ÒBloody hell,Ó the vampire muttered.  He turned on Buffy accusingly.  ÒWhat do I have to do for these gits?Ó

 

ÒYou could start by not calling them stupid British names,Ó she said with mock severity, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him. 

 

The soft look on his face when he gazed at the obviously not really angry slayer, and her own twitching lips when he grinned had everyone except Tara blinking their eyes in shocked comprehension. 

 

ÒOh, dear lord,Ó Giles muttered, turning away so as not to see the undeniable silent communication going on between Buffy and another – this time, soulless – vampire.

 

Xander continued to gape at them, long after everyone else had shrugged and gone back to discussing what to do about Riley.  When he felt he had regained control of his mouth, he said, ÒWhat? How? When? Why didnÕt I know this?Ó

 

ÒKnow what?Ó Buffy asked, oblivious to the new found knowledge in everyoneÕs eyes.

 

ÒYou and Deadboy, Jr, there.  ThatÕs what.  No wonder Riley tried to kill himÉno offense,Ó he added, with a shrug in SpikeÕs direction.

 

ÒNone taken,Ó Spike sighed, jumping back up onto the counter.  ÒAnd thereÕs nothing to know.  SlayerÕs got more important things to worry about right now thanÉÓ He stopped, unwilling to say any more without permission from Buffy.

 

ÒBuffy has a hellgod, a hormonal key, a mother recovering from brain surgery and an ex-boyfriend who wants to be a vampire.  She has no time in her life for anything else. So get it out of your minds.  We have other things to concentrate on.Ó 

 

Buffy held her ground, refusing to acknowledge the rolled eyes and sidelong glances at Spike.  She turned to glare at him, asking, ÒAre you going to help me find these places or not?Ó

 

With a sigh, he jumped off the counter and stood beside her.

 

ÒIÕll help you, pet, if youÕll do me one favor.Ó

 

She gazed back at him noncommittally.

 

ÒI want you to let two of the girls go.  Let me get them out first, yeah?Ó

 

ÒWhat?  Are you crazy?  Why would I do that?Ó Her eyes narrowed jealously. ÒWhat are they to you?Ó

 

Spike took her arm and tried to move her out of hearing range, but Buffy planted her feet and refused to move with him.  She tapped her foot as she waited for him to answer her question.

 

With a frustrated growl, he said, ÒTheyÕre sweet girls that Dru turned years ago when she and Angelus were running around town.  They kept them alive for a while andÉÓ He shrugged his shoulders.  ÒI owe them,Ó he said simply. ÒTheyÕve never hurt a fly, theyÕre just trying to survive without killing people and IÕm not gonna be the one that leads the Slayer to them.Ó

 

ÒYou want me to spare some of your ex-girlfriends?Ó  BuffyÕs voice climbed into a range that made Spike wince and cover his ears.

 

ÒTheyÕre not ex-anythings,Ó he growled.  ÒThey just arenÕt dangerous to anybody and I promised them IÕd keep them safe.  I keep my promises.Ó

 

BuffyÕs nostrils flared, unreasonable anger making her temporarily mute, while Spike stared back at her, his face set in a stony mask and his eyes hard.  Just as the Scoobies were wondering if there was going to be Spike dust floating around the shop, Giles stepped forward.

 

ÒThis is quite interesting information,Ó he said to Spike.  ÒI should like to interview theseÉyoung women, if you could guarantee my safety.Ó

 

ÒJust said theyÕd never hurt anyone, didnÕt I?Ó Spike grumbled, flashing the watcher a grateful look never the less.

 

ÒThis is quite unprecedented.  There is little or nothing in the Watcher files to indicate that is even possible.Ó

 

ÒCouncil of Wankers doesnÕt know everything,Ó Spike said mildly, relaxing his stance a little now that it was clear BuffyÕs watcher was not going to allow her to stake the girls.

 

ÒExactly. Which is why it is so important that I interview them.  Buffy,Ó he turned to his shocked slayer, Òplease do not harm SpikeÕsÉfriends. I should like very much to speak with them.Ó

 

BuffyÕs mouth opened and closed several times before she gave up and spun around to head for the door.

 

ÒCome on, Spike,Ó she snarled.  ÒWeÕve got places to go, vamps to stakeÉÓ

 

 

Chapter Eight  (8/9)

 

They walked in silence for several blocks, Buffy almost stomping down the street and refusing to acknowledge SpikeÕs presence until she realized he was no longer pacing along beside her.

 

ÒWhat?Ó

 

She stopped and turned to find him standing still, hands in pockets and disgusted look on his face.  He shook his head and pointed to the front stoop of an abandoned building.  For a town its size, Sunnydale seemed to have a large number of buildings that served no purpose but to act as a buffer between the human areas of town and that small area near the dump that was almost exclusively demon.

 

ÒWhy?Ó she demanded, placing her hands on her hips and jutting her lower lip out.

 

ÒBecause,Ó he said, sitting down and pulling out his cigarettes, ÒI think we need to chat this out before we get where youÕre so determined to go.Ó

 

ÒNothing to ÔchatÕ about,Ó she said, sitting next to him with exaggerated disdain. ÒThere are places where vamps bite people; IÕm the Slayer, I stop vamps from biting people. Ergo, I should take those places down.Ó

 

ÒAnd the silent treatment youÕre giving me is in no way related to the fact that two of those girls are my friends?Ó

 

ÒTwo of those vampires are your friends,Ó she growled.

 

ÒAnd thatÕs a problem becauseÉ?Ó

 

Buffy struggled to come up with a reasonable response, then gave up. Her shoulders slumped and her lengthy exhale sounded almost like a groan.

 

ÒI sound jealous, donÕt I?Ó

 

ÒA bit,Ó he said, smothering a smile. ÒAre you?Ó

 

She glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes.

 

ÒWould you like that? If I was?Ó

 

He shook his head even as he said, ÒWould feed my ego a bit, got to admit.Ó 

 

ÒYour ego doesnÕt need feeding,Ó she said, the corners of her mouth quirking up.

 

ÒYou might be surprised, Slayer,Ó he said mildly. ÒBut thatÕs not the point. The point is, these two girls have never hurt anyone – not on purpose. Angelus and Dru may have provided them with a first meal when they rose, but after that...Ó

 

ÒHow do you know so much about them?Ó

 

ÒRemember when you put me in that wheelchair?  Those months I spent depending on my grandsire and my bug-shagging crazy sire to remember to feed me?Ó

 

Buffy nodded, giving him an apologetic shrug, which he acknowledged with a dismissive shrug of his own, and a pat on her hand.

 

ÒLike I said earlier, they kept the girls around for a while before they turned them. AngelusÉÓ He fixed his gaze on Buffy. ÒDonÕt think you want to hear about what it was like to be a captive of your ex when heÕs not all souled up,Ó he said.

 

She nodded and gave him a grateful smile. ÒJust give me the important parts.Ó

 

ÒRight. Well, the girls were kept chained, but with room to move around a bit. Made it more fun for—Never mind.  Anyway, itÕs not like I had a lot to do then once DruÕs ÔdaddyÕ was back, so I talked to the girls; we got to know each other a little. Angelus even let me feed off them once in a while – once they stopped cryinÕ every time he came in the room, he lost interest in them himself.  And IÉI made it good for them.Ó

 

ÒGood?Ó

 

ÒDoesnÕt have to hurt, pet. Remember?Ó

 

ÒSo, evil, unchipped you didnÕt drain them and didnÕt even make it hurt?Ó

 

ÒWas no point in losing my only source of fresh blood by using it all up at one time.  And since I couldnÕt chase them around the room without getting tangled in the chains, it was in my best interest to make them willing to come to me.Ó

 

ÒSo this was all about feeding you, not about helping them.Ó

 

He gave her a flat stare. ÒIÕm a vampire, Buffy. And at that time I was unchipped, starving, and miserable. Too bloody right it was about me.Ó

 

She moved away just enough for him to notice, not enough to actually have been said to recoil.  SpikeÕs breath came out in an explosive sigh.

 

ÒNot going to pretend, love. You know what I amÉwas. CanÕt change it –  not sure I would if I could.  What I was is part of what I am now.  Know IÕve changed since then, but-—Ó

 

Buffy interrupted him. ÒSo, what has all this got to do with me not staking these two vamp hos?Ó

 

His jaw tightened, a muscle flexing in his cheek, then he said, ÒAfter they were turned, they came back to be minions.  But they didnÕt want to kill – told Angelus they knew they didnÕt have to kill to drink, and they wouldnÕt do it.  Thought the old poof was going to spontaneously combust,Ó he said with a grin.

 

ÒHe threw them out, told them they could come crawling back when they were ready to act like Ôreal vampiresÕ. But IÕd already told them who to talk to about working in a bite house, so they were alright.Ó

 

ÒOkayÉÓBuffy said dubiously, Òbut why do you feel like you owe them? Seems to me that they owe you.Ó

 

ÒOh, well, they were grateful for my help with Angleus and they used to sneak back in when he was busy trying to end the world and bring me blood from WillyÕs.  They pretty much kept me from starvinÕ to death – probably the only reason I was able to walk by the time I found you, truth be told. Those regular meals kept me going.Ó

Buffy was silent while she digested this new information about vampires and their relative evilness. Her eyes flew to SpikeÕs and she opened her mouth to speak.  He cut her off before she got more than, ÒHave I ever--Ó

 

ÒDonÕt,Ó he said with more force than he meant to.  ÒDonÕt ever let yourself worry about stuff like that.  The vamps that donÕt want to kill know enough to stay away from you.  You see it, you stake it.  ThatÕs the bottom line, Slayer. Any hesitation on your part, and youÕre dead.Ó

 

ÒBut, what ifÉÓ

 

ÒNo ÔbutsÕ. No Ôwhat ifsÕ. YouÕve learned to recognize the demons that donÕt feed on humans, thatÕs good enough.  If I thought telling you about those girls would slow you down when youÕre doing your job, IÕd let you kill them.Ó

 

There was genuine fear in his face and voice; once again, Buffy was reminded of what heÕd almost said to her the night before.  She studied his anxious eyes, searching them for any sign of duplicity, but all she could see was his very real concern that he may have been responsible for endangering her.

 

She sighed and nodded her head.

 

ÒDonÕt worry,Ó she said with a wry smile, ÒI think Giles has me too thoroughly brainwashed. I canÕt imagine stopping to worry about a vampÕs possible good qualities while heÕs trying to kill me.Ó

 

ÒPromise me?Ó

 

ÒCross my heart and hope toÉok, not die, but something less drastic.Ó

 

He exhaled with relief and leaned back on his elbows. He smiled at her, feeling that familiar warmth go through him when she smiled back.

 

ÒSo, are we alright, then?  YouÕre not going to stake my friends in a fit of jealousy?Ó

 

ÒDepends on how pretty they are,Ó she said, tossing her hair playfully.

 

ÒNot as pretty as you are, pet.  I can guarantee you that,Ó he said, running one hand up her cheek, withdrawing it before she could object.

 

Buffy blushed, but managed to stammer out, ÒWell, I guess thatÕs okay, then.  LetÕs go find them.Ó

 

This time their walk was more leisurely and Buffy let their shoulders brush occasionally.  From the corner of her eye, she could see SpikeÕs fingers twitching and she guessed he was fighting the urge to take her hand while they walked.  Fortunately, before she had to decide if holding hands with William the Bloody was something she was willing to do in public, they arrived at the first of the bite houses.  Buffy studied the innocuous-seeming building for some sign that it was the home of Evil, but all she saw was a somewhat decrepit apartment building, or perhaps an old hotel.

 

ÒThis is it, pet. Just bear in mind, these vamps arenÕt trying to hurt anybody, theyÕre just doing what they need to survive.Ó

 

ÒSpike, they are biting people! TheyÕre feeding. On people. They donÕt have to do that. IÕm sure the butchersÕ have enough pigs blood to go around.Ó

 

ÒThey probably do,Ó he admitted. ÒItÕs not like IÕm the only vamp in Sunnydale that drinks that swill – IÕm just the only one that has to. The others choose to drink it if they arenÕt getting enough of what they need.Ó

 

ÒOh.Ó

 

ÒYeah,Ó he said, making a disgusted noise. ÒOh. I told you before, Slayer. None of these vamps are trying to hurt anybody. YouÕre not going to be able to stop people from getting bit if thatÕs their thing.  YouÕll just be putting them in more danger by sending them out to bars to hook up with vamps that may or may not be lyinÕ when they say they wonÕt kill them.Ó

 

ÒSpike – itÕs wrong

 

ÒTell me something, Slayer.Ó His use of her title lent weight to his angry words.  ÒIf you didnÕt think your ex might show up here, would you still be as set on shutting them down?Ó

 

ÒOf course, I would!  ItÕs just as wrong for anybody else to be here as it is for Riley.Ó

 

ÒDidnÕt know managing other peopleÕs personal lives was one of those things Slayers were charged with doing,Ó Spike said mildly.  ÒI would have thought fighting real evil would be enough to keep you busy.Ó

 

ÒYou donÕt think Riley would be evil if he got himself turned?Ó 

 

ÒOh, donÕt doubt it, pet.  But all you really need to do is stop that from happening.  No reason to do in a lot of innocent bystanders in the process.Ó

 

ÒSpike, there is nothing ÒinnocentÓ about these vampires – or about their customers for that matter.  Nothing.Ó

 

ÒAlright. IÕll give you not innocent; but not intentionally evil, either. NobodyÕs doinÕ this that doesnÕt want to be here doinÕ it.  Vamps or humans.  It may be seedy and kinky, but--Ó

 

ÒIcky. The word youÕre looking for is ÒickyÓ

 

ÒIÕm bloody well sure ÒickyÓ is not the word IÕm looking for,Ó he growled.

 

They glared at each other for several minutes, only startled out of the stand-off when a man came out of the house and scuttled off in the direction of downtown.  A woman emerged a moment later, freezing when she saw Spike and Buffy.

 

ÒSpike?Ó

 

ÒGina. How are you, luv?Ó

 

The vampireÕs eyes flew back and forth between Spike and Buffy.  Her brow furrowed and she began to edge back towards the door.

 

ÒIsnÕt that--Ó she began, her expression becoming more frightened as she noticed the stake Buffy was juggling conspicuously.

 

ÒIt is, but she isnÕt going to hurt you,Ó he soothed, stepping between Buffy and the dark-haired vampire.  ÒCan you get Dixie for us?  Slayer wants to talk to you.Ó

 

ÒDixieÉsheÕs busy with aÉOh my god!Ó  Something about the vampireÕs horrified expression clicked and Buffy jumped around Spike, grabbing Gina by the arm. 

 

ÒSheÕs busy with what? Who? Who is she busy with?Ó

 

ÒShe didnÕt meanÉhe askedÉbut we donÕtÉÓ She appealed to Spike for help as Buffy charged up the steps and into the building, shouting RileyÕs name.

 

ÒStay here,Ó he said.  ÒWeÕll be right back.  What floor are they on?Ó he added as he ran up the steps, following the sound of screaming and breaking furniture.

 

ÒSeÉsecond. TheyÕre on the second floorÉÓ She was speaking to empty space, Spike having already burst into the building.  He shoved his way through the crowd of frightened vampires and confused customers trying to get out, hitting the stairs right behind Buffy.  She had paused at the top, her eyes darting right and left as she tried to figure out which room to look in.  Spike touched her arm gently and pointed right.

 

ÒHis scent goes that way, Slayer,Ó he said.

 

Without response, Buffy turned right and started down the hall, pausing before each door to let Spike listen and sniff.  Doors began opening as the sounds from downstairs interrupted the activities going on – sometimes slamming shut immediately when the inhabitant spotted the stake in BuffyÕs hand.  A young vampire whose handsome face looked uncomfortably familiar burst out of one room, an equally young, frightened girl clinging to his arm.  The blood on his mouth and the girlÕs disheveled appearance were all Buffy needed to raise her stake.

 

Immediately, the girl threw herself in front of the vampire, crying, ÒNo! DonÕt stake him.  You canÕt stake him!Ó

 

Grabbing the girl and shoving her behind him, the boy trembled but stood his ground, shielding her with his body. Buffy frowned in confusion, hesitating just long enough for Spike to grab her arm.

 

ÒLeave them be, Slayer,Ó he said, the plea in his voice doing as much to stay her hand as his powerful hand on hers.  ÒCanÕt you see theyÕre just kids?Ó

 

ÒSheÕs a kid,Ó Buffy said, gesturing to the girl who was fighting to get out from behind the boy and protect him from Buffy.  ÒHeÕs not a kid anymore, and he never will be – or he always will be – whatever.  HeÕs feeding off her and who knows what else heÕs doing to herÉÓ

 

ÒI love him!Ó the girl sobbed hysterically. ÒHe isnÕt hurting me. He wouldnÕt hurt me.  WeÕre in love.Ó

 

Buffy stared, mouth open, as the two youngsters, neither one more than a couple of years younger than she was, stood, trembling in fear, their arms wrapped around each other tightly.  When the boy spoke, Buffy realized why he looked familiar. He was the younger brother of one of her own Sunnydale High classmates. 

 

ÒYouÉheÉyou canÕt be in love. HeÕs a vampire! He canÕt love you. He has no soul.Ó  Her slight hesitation told Spike sheÕd heard his soft growl as he took his hand off her arm.

 

ÒI can too love her,Ó the boy snarled at her.  ÒI loved her beforeÉthisÉÓ he gestured at himself, Òand I still love her.  I will always love her.  WeÕre going to be married as soon as weÕre old enough.Ó

 

ÒMarried?Ó

 

The girl blushed and hid her head in his chest.  When neither one of them said anything else, Spike frowned and stepped closer. The young vampire growled at him, but Spike was uncharacteristically polite as he said, ÒJusÕ want to give a listen. WonÕt hurt her. I promise.Ó

 

Without waiting for the boyÕs reluctant permission, Spike stepped closer to them and leaned down until his head was near the girlÕs abdomen.  He listened for a minute, then smiled and stood up straight.

 

ÒCongratulations,Ó he said, pulling Buffy away.  ÒNow get out of the building. Find yourselves someplace else, yeah?Ó

 

Nodding vigorously, they ran down the hall to the stairs, holding hands the entire time.

 

ÒWhat the hell was that?Ó Buffy hissed, continuing her march down the hallway.  By now, many of the doors were open, their occupants having taken advantage of the conversation going on at one end of the long hall to sneak out the other.  After several more dead ends, Spike held his hand up and listened closely outside the next to last door, inhaling deeply, then nodding.

 

ÒPromise me you wonÕt harm Dixie,Ó he said.  ÒSheÕs as much his victim as he is hers.Ó

 

ÒNo promises, if sheÕs turned him,Ó Buffy said, her face set into hard lines.

 

With an exasperated sigh, he nodded, knowing from the sounds coming from the room that Riley was still very much alive.  He offered to open the door for Buffy, but she raised one foot and kicked it in herself.  She shrugged when he muttered in her ear, ÒI was just going to turn the doorknob, Slayer.Ó

 

When she saw the couple inside the room, she almost wished she had let Spike go in first.  Riley glanced up from his position between DixieÕs legs, blood trickling from his neck where sheÕd been sucking on it.   His expression went from shock to anger in only a momentÕs time.

 

ÒWhatÕs he doing here?Ó he demanded, as if his being caught with his pants down and a vampireÕs fangs in his neck was somehow SpikeÕs fault.  He sat up, tucking himself away and picking up a nearby towel to wipe the blood off his neck.  The vampire – Dixie – remained frozen in terror.  She knew exactly who Buffy was, having been warned many times to stay away from areas where she might run into the Slayer.  She also knew exactly who Riley was – having listened to Spike complaining about the Initiative soldier many times.

 

 ÒPull your skirt down and get out of here,Ó Spike growled at her.  ÒGo downstairs and wait with Gina.Ó 

 

He could see that Dixie was too sure that sheÕd be dust if she moved to follow his orders, even though heÕd used a voice he rarely bothered with – one that should have caused such a much younger vamp to jump to obey.  He touched BuffyÕs rigid back lightly, and said, ÒSlayer?Ó

 

ÒLeave,Ó Buffy gritted out, never taking her eyes off Riley.  ÒYou too, Spike. Get out of here.Ó

 

ÒBuf- SlayerÉÓ

 

ÒOut. Now.Ó

 

Shooting the soldier a warning glare, Spike left through the open door and walked down the hall, pounding on the closed doors and saying loud enough for vamp hearing, ÒSlayerÕs in the building, and sheÕs not happy.  Get out while you can.Ó

 

 

Chapter Nine  (9/9)

 

The few vampires that hadnÕt left as soon as Buffy was past their rooms, bolted for the stairs, dragging their confused companions behind them.  Spike followed in a leisurely fashion, his ears attuned to the room heÕd just left and the loud conversation going on there.

 

ÒAre you crazy?Ó  BuffyÕs shriek didnÕt require vampire hearing to understand, although RileyÕs responding mutter would have been inaudible to anyone else.

 

ÒJust spending some time with someone who actually wants what I have to give,Ó he said, standing up straighter and doing his best to seem offended.

 

ÒYouÕre out here getting sucked on. By one of those creatures you keep telling me are evil animals.Ó  She stopped and stared at RileyÕs abashed face.  ÒAre you really trying to get yourself turned?  Do you really think thatÕs going to change anything between us?Ó

 

ÒYes! No!  I donÕt know what the hell IÕm doing.  What am I supposed to think when the girl I thought was in love with me spends more time with a vampire than she does with me?Ó

 

ÒRileyÉÓ BuffyÕs voice dropped lower, and Spike strained to hear what she was going to say.  ÒIÕmÉIÕm not like other girls.  I canÕt be.  I probably never was, I just didnÕt notice how much different I was until I was called.  IÕm sorry that you got caught up in my attempt to be a normal college student with a normal love life.  I guess I should have known better. Spike tried to tell me--Ó

 

ÒAnd weÕre back to Spike.Ó RileyÕs voice was flat and hard.  ÒLet me guess, he told you that you could never be happy with a human – and you just went for it.Ó

 

ÒWellÉyeah, he did, actually.  But I was thinking more about some things he said years ago – when we were still enemies who hated each other.  SpikeÕs never let me hide from what I am, no matter how hard I might be trying to. HeÕs always known what a slayer is – or should be – and he has always called me on it when IÕm doing something ÔunnaturalÕ.Ó  She shook her head and turned away.  ÒMy life has been different from most slayersÕ, I have family, friends, good fashion sense – but underneath it all, I am what I am.Ó

 

ÒAnd that is?Ó

 

Buffy shrugged. ÒA killer.  IÕm someone who kills evil, but sentient beings.Ó She raised her eyes to RileyÕs.  ÒAnd IÕm very good at it.  DonÕt ever forget that, Riley.Ó

 

She turned and walked towards the door.

 

ÒThatÕs it? ThatÕs all you have to say?Ó

 

Buffy responded without turning around to look at him. ÒI made myself clear this morning, Riley.  If you keep doing this, youÕre putting yourself in danger of being turned. YouÕre a big boy. ItÕs your decision.Ó

 

Buffy opened the door and walked out, leaving it open behind her. She walked down the now empty hall without glancing into the rooms she passed, ignoring the few humans still getting dressed and trying to figure out what was going on.

 

Spike was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, turning silently to follow her out the door and down the steps to where Gina and Dixie were cowering against a dumpster.  Buffy walked up to them, saying through tight lips, ÒMy Watcher wants to talk to you.  YouÕll find him at the Magic Box,Ó then she spun around and strode off down the street in the opposite direction.

 

Spike looked back and forth between BuffyÕs rapidly disappearing back and the two puzzled girls. He gave a deep sigh then said quickly, ÒGo to the Magic Box and talk to the man.  HeÕs fair enough – for a Council wanker.  Convince him that youÕre harmless and tell him whatever he needs to hear about how you get by.  He wonÕt hurt you.Ó

 

He gave them a reassuring smile and pointed towards what passed for a downtown in Sunnydale.  ÒGo on with you.  YouÕll be alright.Ó

 

As soon as the girl vampires had left, Spike squared his shoulders and took off after Buffy, using the lingering scent on the air to follow her until he was once more close enough to see her.  He sprinted the last hundred yards, catching up with her in time to match her steps as she marched steadily into the demon section of Sunnydale.

 

After another minute of silent walking he ventured, ÒAre you alright? DidnÕt kill the big git, did you?Ó

 

ÒNo, of course I didnÕt kill him.  And donÕt pretend you werenÕt listening. I know you heard me.Ó

 

He nodded.  ÒI did.Ó 

 

They walked on until the buildings started to become more familiar and Spike realized that Buffy had walked through the demon area and was now heading back towards the outskirts of it.  Heading, in fact, directly towards WillyÕs.  Without discussion, they approached the seedy bar and went in, Spike once again holding the door for the Slayer.

 

WillyÕs face paled as he saw them enter, and several of his patrons slipped out the back door leaving their unfinished drinks on the bar.  However, instead of threatening him for information, Buffy just walked to a booth, glared at the small demon sitting in it until he jumped up with a  ÒHave a seat, Slayer.Ó  She slid onto the padded bench and said, ÒBring me a drink, Willy.Ó

 

ÒUhÉÓ the hovering bartender stammered. ÒCould you be a little more specific, Sla- er, Miss Summers?Ó

 

ÒBring us a bottle of Jack,Ó Spike said, sliding into the opposite seat. ÒThe good Jack; and clean glasses.Ó

 

Willy scampered off to follow SpikeÕs instructions, leaving the vampire staring at BuffyÕs impassive face.

 

ÒGonna talk to me, pet?Ó

 

ÒDonÕt feel like talking,Ó she muttered, staring at her hands twisting together on the damp tabletop.  She thought back to the night Spike had told her that she made death with her hands every day.  Her eyes flew to his. ÒI am a killer.  I never really felt like one until tonight when I saw how scared of me they all were – and until I admitted it to Riley.  The Council can call us ÒslayersÓ if they want to, but weÕre trained killers.  ThatÕs what we are.Ó

 

Spike cautiously put one hand on top of hers, gently pressing it down to still the twisting and wringing.

 

ÒYouÕre The Slayer, love.  The Chosen One. The one who stands between all thatÕs good and all that isnÕt.  You kill because thatÕs the only way to rid the world of the kind of evil you were born to destroy.Ó  He watched her expression anxiously, not liking at all what he was hearing in her voice.

 

"Is that why you like me?" she blurted suddenly.  "Because I'm a killer, just like you?  That's what you told me, isn't it?  That I'm like you?"

 

He winced visibly and withdrew his hand, running it over his face to give himself time to think.

 

"You're nothing like me," he finally said, his voice quiet and controlled. "I know it, and you know it.  If I said that..." Her glare stopped him.  "When I said that, I was trying to get...I was...." He shrugged and gazed at her with an expression that, had he not been a soulless vampire, she would have called 'shame'.  "Was looking to make you weak, Buffy. I wanted you, and knew you wouldn't allow yourself to be with a soulless creature... even if you....  I was just blowin' smoke in your eyes, hoping you'd not see me clearly."

 

"I think I see you pretty clearly," she said enigmatically.

 

"Then you understand why I was trying to bring you down to my level," he said, slumping back in the bench.

 

There was no answer as Willy returned with a new bottle of Jack Daniels and two relatively clean glasses.  He set them down on the table and scuttled back to the bar, hoping it wouldn't turn out that the Slayer was as mean a drunk as her companion could be.

 

The bar remained fairly empty as each new prospective customer came in, ordered, and then noticed who was sitting in the back booth.  Even the slime-covered demon who spotted Spike and swaggered over to harass him about his gambling debts paled when he saw who the vampire's companion was.  He took one look at Buffy tossing back shots, and immediately began to apologize for bothering them.  He left quickly, not noticing Buffy's giggle of amusement or Spike's angry glare that the demon hadn't been afraid of him, but quailed at the sight of the Slayer.

 

"Laugh it up," he muttered.  "Next time I see that git, I'll show him which one of us he really needs to worry about."

 

"Nice to know that Riley isn't the only one with masculinity issues about dating the Slayer," Buffy said, giggling again as Spike's face became thunderous.

 

He growled under his breath and glowered for a full minute before shaking his head and breaking out in a reluctant smile.  "TouchŽ, pet," he said, nudging her foot with his toe.  "It is a mite hard on the old ego when the nasties are more afraid of a slip of a girl than they are of the Big Bad."

 

"So," she said, suddenly serious and not meeting his eyes as she drew circles on table with a finger she'd dipped in her drink.  "Are you going to go running off to get sucked by vamp ho's now, too?"

 

He put one hand over hers and stopped her aimless circles.

 

"I hope you meant that to be funny," he said, waiting for her to look up and meet his eyes.  " 'cause if you didn't..."

 

"I'm sorry," she sighed.  She cast an accusing eye at the amber liquid in her glass.  "I thought this stuff would make me feel better," she complained.  "Isn't that why you drink it?" She downed another shot, following it with the usual full-body shudder.  "It can't be for the taste!"

 

Spike chuckled and swallowed his own glassful, smacking his lips and rolling his eyes.

 

"I like the taste," he said, pouring more into his glass and raising his eyebrow in question.  He laughed when Buffy put a hand over her own glass and gave him a horrified "no!".

 

"There's no point in drinking it if it isn't going to make me feel better," she grumbled.  "It's like forcing down medicine that isn't working."

 

"I think it's working," he said.  "You've apologized. To me. Clearly indicates that you're well on your way to being drunk on your delectable arse."

 

"I think I'm about to be sick to my delectable stomach," she said in a suddenly small voice.  "Does this place even have a ladies room?"  She stared around frantically until Spike pointed to the hall right behind their booth.

 

"Right there, pet. Can't guarantee how clean it is, but---"

 

Buffy leapt to her feet and ran down the hall, shoving the door open as she reached the first restroom.  Snarling "get out!" at the very male demon relieving himself at a urinal, she just made it to the first stall before her stomach rejected the alcohol she'd been forcing into it.

 

After several minutes of retching until she was sure the lining of her stomach was going to come up through her throat, she finally lost the need to bend over and staggered to the sink.  Ignoring the fact that it obviously hadn't been cleaned in a very long time, she ran the cold water over her hands and splashed it on her face until she felt almost normal.  She shuddered as she scooped up a mouthful of water and rinsed the foul taste from her mouth.  She was still leaning over the sink and scrubbing at her face and mouth with a paper towel when Spike came in the door.

 

"You alright, pet?"

 

"I'm drunk, sick, embarrassed and standing in the men's room of a demon bar.  Yeah, I'm just peachy."

 

He put a tentative hand on her back and said, "Come on. Let me take you home.  You'll feel better tomorrow."

 

When Buffy cocked a disbelieving eye at him, he amended, "Or not. But by the afternoon, for sure."

 

"I don't want to go back out there," she mumbled.

 

"No problem, Slayer. We'll sneak out the back and no one will ever know that you can't hold your liquor."

 

With uncharacteristic meekness, she allowed Spike to usher her out into the hallway and turn her away from the main room, shielding her with his body.  They made their way to the back door without seeing anything but a small, fish-like demon that scampered away when he saw Spike's fangs.  The cool night air was refreshing and Buffy was soon feeling more like herself.

 

The long walk back to Revello Drive was slower than it could have been, with Buffy stopping to yawn every once in while and actually leaning up against a tree once and trying to nap.  Although his face couldn't hide his amusement, Spike eventually scooped her up and began striding towards her home.

 

"Wha-- what are you doing?"

 

"Getting you back to your own little bed before I have to fight off half the demons in Sunnydale.  You think you can just take naps out here and none of them are going to notice?"

 

"Oh," she said, loosely draping her arms around his neck.  " 'k, then."  Her head dropped onto his chest and she began to snore softly.  Shaking his head, Spike marveled at how soft and vulnerable one of the earth's deadliest creatures could seem when she was asleep. 

 

He was all the way to the front door when he realized that he had no way to get inside the house with a sleeping girl in his arms.  Growling at himself, he debated kicking on the door until he woke Joyce up versus carrying Buffy to his crypt to sleep it off there.  He was relieved of his dilemma when the door opened on Joyce's frowning face.

 

"What happened?" 

 

"It's okay, Joyce. She's not hurt, just a little...under the weather."

 

Joyce sniffed and made a face.  "She's drunk, you mean." She fastened a hard eye on Spike.  "Did you take my daughter out and get her drunk?"

 

Spike swallowed audibly, but bravely held onto his snoring burden.

 

"It was her idea," he said meekly.  "I didn't know she was planning to get pissed."

 

Joyce glared at him long enough that he began to look around anxiously in case she had a weapon handy.  Finally, she relaxed her shoulders and sighed.

 

"Fine. So what happened?"

 

"Don't think that's my tale to tell," Spike said softly as he followed Joyce's gesture and started up the stairs with his burden.

 

"Does this have anything to do with that stupid soldier?"

 

"A bit," he allowed, then shrugged. "Has more to do with her callin' I think. It's taken quite a toll on her life in the past few years."

 

"I'm sure it has," Joyce said as she followed him into Buffy's room and watched him lay her daughter on the bed.  His hand lingered, brushing lightly across Buffy's face before he remembered that he wasn't alone and stood up quickly.   Joyce continued, "I don't know how these girls don't go insane from living like this for so long."

 

"Most of 'em don't live this long," Spike said, meeting her frightened eyes.  "They're lucky if they last a year or more. Buffy's an exception, Joyce. She's different. Special."

 

"How long can she keep being an exception?" Joyce's voice was almost a moan as she accepted the truth of his words.  It was something she knew instinctively, but had forced herself not to dwell on.

 

"As long as I'm alive to keep it that way," Spike said as he edged away from the bed, his reluctance to leave Buffy there alone visible in every line of his body.

 

"Thank you for that, Spike," Joyce said, maneuvering him out the door.  "Let me get Buffy cleaned up and tucked in and I'll join you downstairs.  There's blood in the refrigerator if you're hungry."

 

Taking the hint, Spike went downstairs and shrugged out of his coat, leaving it on a chair in the living room as he passed through on his way to the kitchen. He took out the container of pig blood and poured a mug for himself while he waited for Joyce to come back.  When she walked in, he was just taking the warmed blood from the microwave and she waved him to a seat at the counter.

 

Sitting across from him, she sighed and put her head in her hands. He was instantly alert.

 

"Head hurts?" he asked, mug of blood forgotten as he rushed around the counter.

 

"No," she smiled at his concerned face. "The head is fine.  I'm just too tired to sleep, I guess. And finding out that my daughter's...job...is driving her to drink didn't help."

 

Reassur