Title: The Last Night
Author - Slaymesoftly
Rating: no worse than R
Word count: 1378
Disclaimer: I would have given them this if they were mine and not ME’s!
Distribution: Take it if you really want it. Just tell me where.
Beta: I think I did this one myself. So don’t blame anybody else for it!
“Oh thank God,” she laughed and he laughed with her. “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d gone up those stairs.” He smiled shyly and ducked his head.
Buffy put her hand to his cheek and smiled up at him. He covered her hand with his and pulling it to his lips, he kissed her palm and leaned into her hand. To Buffy’s great surprise, the touch of his lips sent a flash of pure lust racing through her body and she had a sudden vision of them together last year before everything went to hell. Jerking her hand away quickly, she struggled to control the heat running through her body before he could pick up on it.
Seeing the hurt but resigned look on his face, she realized he had misunderstood her reaction for one of fear. At a loss for what to say or how to explain that she wasn’t thinking about the rape attempt last spring, Buffy reached her hand toward him again. At his flinch away, she dropped it and after another uncomfortable silence in which she couldn’t think of any way to make it right, she went back up the stairs.
Spike curled up in a miserable ball on the bed, muttering to himself, What was I thinking? Shouldn’t touch unless she asks. She’ll never trust me that much again.
Much later, when all the plans had been finalized and those who could sleep had gone to bed, Buffy came back downstairs and stopped at the bottom. Spike jumped to his feet and for several minutes they just looked at each other from opposite sides of the room.
“I was afraid you weren’t coming back.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d want me here.”
Spike used his vampire speed to cross the basement before the last word had left her mouth. “I will always want you here.”
“In the basement?” She glanced around and rolled her eyes.
“You know what I mean. With me.”
Buffy smiled at him. “I know. I just don’t know why. You should hate me for the way I treated you.”
“Used to wish I could, love. But you know I don’t.” He glanced at her from under shuttered lashes. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you here?”
“I’ve hurt you so much. And I just did it again when I jerked my hand back. Did you think I wouldn’t be back because I pulled away?”
“I shouldn’t have…”
“It wasn’t because of anything you did. It was me.”
“You?” he asked, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow. There was no elaboration from Buffy, though.
“How could I not come back?” she mused aloud, raising her hand to his cheek again. “You are my strength, my refuge, my champion.” (my love)
“Then why? I wasn’t…I know you can’t trust me, but….I would never, I couldn’t..” He turned his face away and stared down at the floor.
Buffy stepped closer and turned his face toward her again. “I trust you completely. I never feel safer than when I’m with you.” She leaned into him and put her arms around his waist. Letting out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding, Spike wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. For several minutes the two warriors stood together sharing the comfort that close physical contact can bring. Finally Spike raised his head and said, “Get some sleep, love. I’ll keep watch for awhile.” He gestured toward the bed.
“I don’t want to sleep by myself – I need you beside me. Please, Spike, Just hold me like you did the other night.”
Their bodies fitting together as though they were made for each other, they curled up together and tried for some much needed rest.
Hours later, Spike woke up with a throbbing hard-on that was pushing on Buffy’s ass. He tried to carefully move away without waking her, but she noticed and sleepily asked, “Spike? Wha- Oh!”
He apologized quickly and tried to get up. “I’m sorry, love. Sometimes I’m not as in charge as I’d like to be.”
“No,” Buffy said, grabbing his arm to hold him down.
“I know, no. I just….”
“No. I mean, no, don’t leave. It’s OK. Really. Stay here. Please?”
“If you’re sure, love,” he answered, relaxing back down beside her and trying to keep his erection away from her body.
Both vampire and slayer were now wide-awake, and they struggled to pretend they were completely relaxed and oblivious to each other.
Finally, Buffy sighed and spoke, “Spike, do you know why I pulled away when you kissed my hand?”
“Because it reminded you of when I….” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but she could feel him trembling.
She interrupted, before he could say anything else, “Because it reminded me of the great sex we used to have, and all of a sudden I didn’t care about the apocalypse, the First, or anything except feeling you inside me one more time. It was my self-control I was worried about. Not yours.”
“Oh,” was all he could manage at first. He stroked her silky hair and finally ventured, “You know, Slayer, while you were having that great (he smiled slightly) sex, I was making love to you. Even at our worst, it was love-making.”
“I know that now. I was blind and too self-righteous to let myself believe it at the time. Can you forgive me?” she asked, turning her head to look at him.
“S’nothing to forgive, love. You were in bed with a monster and you hated yourself for it. I understand that now.”
There was silence again while they were each lost in their own thoughts and memories of last year. Without looking at him, Buffy said timidly, “We’re not the same people now we were then, are we?”
“I guess not. Me with the soul and all….”
She turned all the way around and looked into his eyes, “So, if we…..I mean… we could……if both of us were making love, it would be OK then, wouldn’t it?”
“That’s for you to say, Buffy. It was always about love for me – soul doesn’t change that.” His expression was cautiously hopeful.
“Can you – will you make love to me tonight, William?” she asked softly.
“Are you sure?”
Looking into his eyes, she said clearly, “I’ve never been so sure of anything my life.”
He buried his face in her neck, sure that his unbeating heart was going to burst. As he began planting little kisses all over her face and neck, Buffy closed her eyes in relief and breathed, “I’ve missed you so much, Spike. You have no idea how much.”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you, Slayer.” He growled as his hands began running over her body as though desperate to see if it felt the way he remembered it. It felt so good – so familiar and yet so exciting at the same time that Buffy was practically growling herself as she helped him get rid of their clothes as quickly as possible. The rest of the night was spent making up for all the times they had lain apart in their separate beds wishing for each other and unable to take the steps needed to make it happen.
“I love you, Buffy,” the exhausted vampire breathed in her ear. “I will love you until the end of the world.”
“I love you, Spike I should have told you that a long time ago.”
“Wasn’t very loveable a long time ago, pet,” he murmured contentedly.
“You’ve always been loveable. Just incredibly annoying,” she said with a gentle smile.
“Well, fortunately, you’ve never been irritating…….” He laughed as she smacked him gently on his chest, saying, “Shut up and go to sleep. We have apocalyptic butt to kick tomorrow.”
“Got it covered, love. The wanker doesn’t stand a chance.”
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