Title - Connecting Spike POV (05/03)

Season immediately after the end of Season VII

Rating G

Word count 475

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            He could feel his soul channeling and pouring out the light from within, incinerating the ubervamps.  He knew that the First had been beaten back, but it was up to him to be sure it stayed down.  Suddenly she reached toward his outspread hand, touching her palm to his.  He could see the tears gathering in her eyes - eyes that looked at him with awe, tenderness and a dawning recognition that they would not both be leaving this place. 


           Their fingers intertwined and energy flowed between them, connecting them in a way unlike any other time they had touched. Spike realized that this is what he was meant to do.  His Slayer had put evil on the run and he was going to back her up - one last time. He felt power flowing from him into her, healing the wound and giving her the strength to escape.  "Go" he told her. "Get out".


                "I love you," she choked out, the tears overflowing her eyes and sliding down her face.  The words he had waited so long to hear somehow weren't that important anymore. The connection between them was so strong, so pure, so all-encompassing that those merely human words faded in importance next to the blending of their souls that he could feel.  But he knew the words were important to her.  She wanted him to feel valued when he died.  He was mildly surprised that she couldn't feel the energy between them for what it was. He would always be with her now - as she would always be with him.  He knew, sometime, in some future place they would be together again. Forever. He tried to tell her that - that he didn't need those words because he knew what they were to each other and it was so much more than the love between a man and a woman.  But all he could think of to express it was "No, you don't; but thanks for saying it". He wanted to let her know he appreciated the words.  He just didn't need them anymore.


     He put all his effort into the flow between their hands.  Hoping she would realize his real meaning.  Then he had to make her go.  He wanted his Slayer to live; he wanted her to have the long happy life he was earning for her.  And, if truth be told, some little part of his irrepressible personality was enjoying all the destruction his soul was wreaking. He was curious to see how it would end.  He released her hand, and with a last look back, she ran out of the collapsing cavern and into the sunlight and the world.






Title - Always Mine (05/03)



   I see them watching me when they think I won't notice.   I know they're wondering why I'm not sadder - waiting for me to break down and mourn for my lost lover.  Giles was right - as were Andrew, Willow, all the potentials - we were lovers, even if we weren't physically acting on our feelings. (And, I can admit to myself now, I'm really sorry for wasting all those months of potential kissage and more.  Stupid, stupid, Buffy!)


   They weren't there at the end, though. They don't understand that in those last few minutes we finally "connected" in a way neither of us had ever expected.  I'm sorry he's not here to hold me, to fight with me, to "give me multiple orgasms" as Anya (Oh, Anya!) would say, to be my refuge from the world.  I do miss him. I miss his physical presence and I always will.


        But I know something they don't. He is with me all the time now.  He's a part of me and I will always have that extra strength, that extra layer of protection from evil and that unconditional love that I can feel all the time now.  So, yeah, I'm sorry he's physically gone.  I'll miss him.  But like I told Angel (and how prophetic was that?), he IS in my heart and always will be.  Spike will never leave me.


       And anyway, I just know he was having fun bringing the whole town down around his ears.


 I love you, Spike.




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